Professor Fliggins Vampire Pants

From Shawnimals.

Your Guess Is As Good As Ours

Sure, we could look the clipping up in Google translate, but why ruin the mystery?

Because Clowns Just Plain Ol' Scare Me

I'm so grateful that my dad's selling this antique wooden clown ring-toss game -- heck, the clown even has the X eyes of death! Someone, please, buy it so I do not have to deal with it in the estate in 100 years.

Halloween Nineteen-Ought-Seven: Tricks Bigger Than Treats

Straight out of the pages of The Fargo Forum and Daily Republican, November 2nd, 1907, the story of "Two Brothers Filled With Peas." (Click to enlarge the old news article, or scroll below it to read copied text.)

Farmer Beaton's Sons Treated To A Warm Reception By Irate Farmer On Hallowe'en Night -- A Double Barreled Shot Gun Did The Businss

Two Small boys, the sons of a farmer named Beaton, who lives just outside the west part of Fargo, were shot at by an irate farmer on Hallowe'en and as a result they came to Fargo yesterday and had about a handful of peas picked out of them by a physician.

The Boys had greatly annoyed a neighboring farmer last Hallowe'en, and this year he waited for them with a double-barreled shotgun loaded with peas. The boys approached his place and he let fly with both barrels, and his marksmanship was excellent.

In future Hallowe'ens these particular boys will probably remain a long ways from that particular farmer.

Ahhh, Halloween in 1907, when kids could be shot just for being annoying, good times...

Note that people don't shoot people, "double barreled shot guns do the business."

El Vampiro Atomico

Via Giovannarama at Collectors Quest, the Mexican lobby card for the 1958 U.K. film, Fiend Without a Face. For some reason, the Spanish title is far more intriguing to me.

Creepy Kid Vent Dummies!

Who knew that two Photoshopped shadows would cause my skin to crawl:

As if ventriloquist dummies weren't creepy enough as it is, these are regular children photoshopped to appear to be dolls with articulated mouths. Sure, she looks like a nice, non-homicidal doll now, but just wait until she's been played with by an average child for a couple years:

NOW if lightning or magic gives this doll a life of its own, you better run for the freakin' hills, because it will have no mercy on beings of flesh and bone.

Baby Got Back-Fat

A back cover illustration from The Philistine: A Periodical of Protest, published by Elbert Hubbard, titled (or captioned) "Removing his Pocket-book."



I'm too amused & enthralled to really research this one, kids... Besides, isn't it time you told me something?

The illustration dates to 1909; Vol. 30, December, No. 1, of The Philistine.

Revenge On The Clowns

Spotted in a local antique shop, an old tin or metal clown toy with a metal rod through his nose, holding his hat 'up'.

Reminds Me Of Sarah Palin

I totally remember kitschy retro bathroom decor -- and being embarrassed by it whenever some friend's mom had put 'potty people' on display in her bathroom. Mainly it was wall plaques of folks taking baths, little boys with bums sticking out of drop-bottom pjs, and lots of things with toilet paper themes. I did not find them cute, but wildly inappropriate. I remember on more than occasion pondering just how badly I had to pee -- and was it worth going into that bathroom with the 'potty people'.

I still cringe and say Eeeeiiwwww. Which is why when I spotted a pair of such wall plaques at the thrift store, I did not buy them.



I was both brave enough & amused enough to take photos of the girl applying lipstick to the family dog tho. (Even if she has exposed her bare bottom.) For some reason both the little girl applying lipstick to her dog -- and wildly inappropriate bathroom decor -- remind me of Sarah Palin.

"The Potato Babies, And How They Grew"

A story of grandma entertaining the kids with people and animals made from potatoes...





From The Maple Leaf Book Of Stories.

Used Hankies In Your Hair

Kitschy Kitschy Coo presents... The Hanky Bonnet: The ultimate in icky fashion recycling.



I don't care how much it's laundered, turning your bridal hankie into a christening bonnet for your baby is just asking for a bad case of cradle crap cap.

Inside McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring 1978 issue.

Trouble Keeping Your Hose Up?

Start pulling at the neck.


1921 ad for Wilson Garters, found in The Modern Priscilla magazine.

Battle For The Soul Of Christmas

There's a war on between my evil soap people & the vintage felt Christmas elves, as noted in my CQ article.

Dad Says He Tired Of Ties As Gifts?

Well, you can always make him kitschy place to put them.




Instructions and pattern from a vintage set of Coping Saw Carpentry For Boys & Girls cards. You can find nicer patterns and craft project instructions at my other blog, Things Your Grandmother Knew too.

No More Happy Families

Found via Kinsanity, this art collage by Mira Rudio.

Anne Frank's Not The Only Thing Hiding In The Attic

This gal found this Polaroid of her family in the attic. We're pretty sure she means the photo was found in the attic; but then again...

"The Practical Self May Try To Hold You Back"

That's what it says inside this retro brochure for the Movieland Wax Museum. "But," it continues, "let yourself go and time and time again, on every set at Movieland, you'll re-live the most dramatic moments of the screen."



It also says you might find yourself walking among the living stars, as they "regularly visit" the museum. Those who do so, are awarded their own special director's chair (with their own name!) upon their first visit.



I didn't scan the whole thing; but enjoy the pages I did. Or not. It might be creepy even in digital pixels.



Also from my travel and tourism collection; see something you like there, let me know, and maybe I'll scan &/or provide additional details.

She Should Be Blue

"She's dead; wrapped in plastic." OK, so she was (probably) never alive. But I hate to see dolls & stuffed animals wrapped in plastic. Sure, she's more 'valuable' in her original packaging, but she can't breathe.


I don't know which Flora Belle doll by Brinns she is -- other than 'a pink one.' I didn't look at her name. Who knew they made so many pink ones? Not me; with all that air-tight plastic, I thought she'd be blue.

Pussy Doesn't Love The Canary For Its Song

An odd old postcard with an illustration of a creepy kid -- presumably "he" painted the saying on the wall.



Maybe the kid's only creepy for being on the card. Maybe you don't think he's creepy at all. But I'm pretty certain he's the 1920's version of a goth graffiti artist. But in any case, I found the vintage postcard well worth the $1.

Postmarked 1921; SB postcard number s.204.

Night of the Lepus

Some people Live-Twitter the debates; I opt to Live-Twitter my viewing of Night of the Lepus, starring Stuart Whitman, Janet Leigh, Rory Calhoun, DeForest Kelley, & Paul Fix. Here it is, cut & pasted for you, typos and all.

Watching Night of the Lepus - when rabbits terrorize! http://www.imdb.com/title/t... Still less strange than Palin/McCain campaign

Yes, yes, go in cellar to hide from rabbits.

Slow motion humungoid bunnies running to slow version of Twilight Zone's do-do-do-do. Excellent.

Why didn't they stop for the lone guy with a rifle acting so crazy on the side of the road? Huh.

Ah, the turn-off to Woodale is a dirt road... that seems to bode that they are safe.

Giant rabbits fill the wild-west general store!! No need for cheezy music -- I am enthralled!

A helicopter approaches. I am waitnig for a giant bunny to rear up and snatch it from the sky... I wait for it.

Siren sound effect is large kazoo?

Maybe just a child going "wooooOOoooo WoOOOOoooo"

"Attention" police say to drive-in movie attendees, "There'a a herd of large attacking rabbits, evacuate!"

Giant killer rabbits killed on railroad tracks -- electrocuted. Or shot. I can smell the burning fur.

Goodness is restored to the earth. Children play in fields. Roll credits.

Thank you, Turner Classic Movies.

Should this interest you at all, why not watch the trailer?

Mixed Fortunes

What's this old gypsy fortune telling book got to do with one woman's Uncle Stuart & his knickers and another woman's parent's marriage? Read it, if you dare.

Kitschy Kistchy Coo -- We're Watching You!

Painting by Dan May.

Modern Woman Monday: What's In Your Fridge?

Just one of the many quirky, unique items available at the Kindness Of Strangers shop, a group in which I am just one of the quirky, unique artists -- but I didn't make this one; Slip of a Girl did. (People always think she's so sweet. She is, but she's also got her twisty side.)

If you don't see the works with art nudes, create an account at Zazzle, go to 'account settings', and set 'the maturity level' to R.

What Could Be Bedda Than Hedda?

Hedda Get Bedda, one of the American Character Whimsie series dolls made in 1961, is a three-faced doll.



You turn the knob on the top of her non-removable bonnet to see all the faces/phases of her disease.



Creepy, ey? This doll would send my sister into deep psychological scare.

According to DollInfo.com, these dolls were marketed to the pre-teens and teenagers who were getting "too old for baby dolls".

If anyone can move past the two-faced to the three-faced, it's pre-teen and teenage girls.

Have A Ball

Kick a kitten.


Wal-Mart wants you to.

Will. Not. Eat.

I don't care what the ratio of Tigger bits to Pooh parts is -- I don't want any poo in my cereal.

The Story Of The Bear Hug Wiggler; Or Why I'm Not Allowed To Go Out Of The House Alone

We went to BK the other night, hubby, middle girl and I. The kids' toys are Crayola toys. Inside the toy's packaging they always have the insert with all the other toys, so kids whine to come back for more. I looked at it and was intrigued by the "Bear Hug" Wiggler.

I have a thing for bears, and a natural human disposition to laziness, so I wondered, is this thing a bear you put a crayon into and when you wind it up, it draws for you? If so, I need one.

There was no explanation or description on the insert, so I went to the counter to ask the pimply-faced boy standing there. Our interaction was brief and went like this:

Me: "Hi, can you show me the bear wiggler?"

Him: "Huh?"

Me: "Can I see your bear wiggler?"

Him: *blank stare*

Me: "Your bear wiggler -- the Crayola toy."

Him: *digging blindly beneath the counter in what I can only assume is a bin of kids' meal toys -- occasionally looking into the assumed box then back at me*

Me: *waiting hopefully*

Him: "I have no idea what that is. I have no idea what that is."

Me: "Uh, OK, thanks anyway."

I walk to the door to meet the waiting family, whereupon my hubby, sardonic eyebrow raised, says, "Probably not appropriate to ask a guy to show him his 'bare wiggler' in public."

Doh!

All that, and I still don't know what a "Bear Hug" Wiggler is.

But I'm pretty sure I still want one. Now I have a great cougar story to with it.

Marvels From 1954's The Family Physician -- Or Bad HMO?

Within the pages of The Family Physician, by Dr. Herman Pomeranz & Dr. Irvin S. Koll, 1954, there are many things to marvel at. On the inset photo page between 142 & 143 we find the following marvels:

A Miracle Of Modern Science

Nail swallowed by four-year-old boy was successfully withdrawn from his duodenum when doctors induced him to gulp chocolate malted milk containing magnet attached to a thread. X-ray shows magnet in contact with nail, which appears as curved line beneath it.

Self-Operation

Photograph shows doctor removing his own appendix; assistant and nurse helped him to hold instruments. He did this to "get patient's attitude."

If I had to choose between gulping chocolate milk with a magnet & thread (just like mom used to make!) or operating on myself, I'd gulp, baby.

I can't even understand the "get patient's attitude" dealio-mcbob. I mean are there patients who actually operate on themselves? Or was the unnamed doc responding to those patients who, like visitors to art galleries, think they can do that themselves.

Ladies Don't Argue With A Burglar

They pack heat in their nighties.



Via Flickr.

If Bees In Your Crotch Make Your Ankles Swell...

Get these retro flares.



Or maybe you just like the bees in your crotch thing. Who can tell? (Maybe that's why it's so swollen there.)

Dimple Dot Kleenex Box Cover Kit

I never knew they had an official name.


Seeing this ad reminds me of when I was young, someone gave this to my folks as a gift -- :eek: -- and our dog used to bark at like she was rabid (the dog, not the Dimple Doll). My folks would put it away, and then every now and then bring it out to see if the dog still hated it; she did. Eventually, the dog got a hold of it and destroyed it.

Whenever I see them at sales, I want to buy them and set them all in a row on a shelf -- maybe even fill and entire book shelf with them, in all the colors and variations.

I did get one once, but sent it to my sister; one part memory, one part freak factor (she hates dolls so opening a box with a doll head, well, that would be super freaky). But no affordable ones since.

Feel free to send me some, if you don't want them.

As If Sticking Pins Into The Baby Isn't Bad Enough...

There are bugs to place on him too.


Screaming Oliver reproduction pin cushion and bugs (by Cats Paw Doll Accessories), available here.

Fame Was In The Stars For J.K. Rowling; She Knew, Because She Put It There

Sotheby's is to auction off three personal horoscope charts prepared by author J.K. Rowling which contain "unpublished illustrations and writing dating from when j.k. rowling was writing harry potter and the philosopher's stone, and a wonderful insight into the creative mind behind harry potter." (Sotheby's, I think that's Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone; but hey, I'm too poor to bid, so what do I know.)



From the auction listing:

The third horoscope is of their young son, born on the cusp of Aquarius and Pisces. He will enjoy school, perhaps be accident-prone, (like all Pisces) could be prone to alcoholism, and (perhaps like us all) may well fall in love with someone totally incompatible. The chart apparently suggests that the boy will have great literary talent ("...the planet of fantasy and imagination meets a sign frequently associated with bookishness...") Rowling wonders whether his "ability to weave a good yarn" could perhaps bring fame and fortune, before deciding that becoming a film director would better suit his talents. Apparently wishing for some small slice of fame for herself, J.K. Rowling wonders if the boy would perhaps at least mention her in his Oscar acceptance speech ("...This peculiar woman my mother knows predicted I would be standing before you today ... of course, my parents laughed at the time...")

To be auctioned off at Sotheby's in London on July 17.

Nothing Says, "Welcome, Spring!" More Than A Skull Birdhouse

Stefan Gross presents the "REBIRDY Skull Nesting Box".

Via A Tad Too Much Tan For Taupe.

Bring Out Your Dead

Guess what's happening in this picture -- Dia de los muertos? CSI exhumation? Art show?


It's an antique sale -- and the antiques are dead people. Note to self: if the bones are old, the state of Ohio stops worrying about whether or not they're human remains. Addendum note to self: there are some creepy, creepy collectors.