Thanks For The Reindeer Sweater

This sweater is proof that the dreaded holiday reindeer sweater has been with us for at least 70 or 80 years. (Long live retaliation via fruit cake!)

Why Christmas Tights Are Important For Little Girls

This looks so much like my sister -- OK, and not just as a child (she wears pants now Christmas Eve for a reason!) I wish it was a photo of her, because then we'd have had an Andy Gibb microphone!

Via Flickr

Honey, I Shrunk The Santa

Via Flickr

Skin Cancer For Christmas? You Shouldn't Have!

A holiday ad from 1967 for the GE Tanity Case -- a vanity case, but with everything for a tan: sunlamp, holder, eye shields & sun cream.

Garters On Maids Are Sexy

Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye in White Christmas.

Old Christmas Tree Lot

Christmas tree lot at Jennings Lawn & Garden in Overland Park, Kansas, 1955.

The Forecast For Santa's Lap: Wet With A Chance Of Tinkertoys

Johnny clearly remembered how wet Santa's lap was the year before.



Via Flickr

Paper Crowns For Jesus

More paper birthday hats for baby Jesus; these apparently worn in public, at a restaurant.



Via Flickr.

It's Easy To See Which Snowman Wears The Pants In The Family

Via Flickr.

Buying A Christmas Tree?

Make sure it's taller than your bouffant.



Via Flickr.

Christmas Dey Curls

As in Christmas curls worn by Susan Dey.

Christmas Decorating Tip

Your drapes should not be louder than your tree.



Via Flickr.

The Sunshine Family Doll Christmas

Or maybe it was John Denver who kidnapped mom & baby Sunshine back in December of 1975?


Family photo via Flickr

Like Birthday Hats For Jesus

Homemade Santa hats, circa 1960s.



Via Flickr.

Santa Gets Juiced

Technically, this is a vintage Santa reamer -- would you have preferred that I said Santa was reamed?



Via Jazze Junque.

Battle For The Soul Of Christmas

There's a war on between my evil soap people & the vintage felt Christmas elves, as noted in my CQ article.

Pixies: Guardians Of PJs

A cute elf sits on the cover of the first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).





Turns out he is not an elf, but rather both a pixie and a pajama bag. Click the images to get the patterns & instructions (I tired to color correct the pattern page, but that's the best I could get it). If you make any pixie pj bags, I'd love to see 'em!




I put the skirt instructions for crocheting the long red hostess here -- I'd love to see those if you make them too.

Craft-Scan Friday: Get Yer Space-Age Santas Here

Remember the 60's and how they promised us a future of hover cars and jet-pack travel? Well, some of us do, anyway. The rest of you can put down your Tommee Tippee cups and see why the rest of us all believed so hard.

See, our moms were busy creating space-age Christmases. Just like Ethel Peterson who had covered the face of her clock (now at a thrift shop near you) with a half-circle of gold-flocked cardboard. "Stars, pasted onto the blue crepe paper, give 'sky' effect."



Pretty potent stuff, merging forever, the idea of travel, space, and free gifts.

Here Santa rides a rocket -- which they call a "jet" ("cut from linoleum rolls and covered with shelf paper, then painted"). Not only better than that, a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn.



What the heck can be better than typing "a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn"? Seeing it. I can't wait to make hundreds for next year's holiday craft fair.

Have A Coolie Christmas

All you thought you had to worry about was your neighbor with the black lawn jockey...

Included in the Pacific Palisades Holiday Tour was this exotic outdoor decoration that blends East and West. Set on an outdoor patio, the antique rickshaw carries a Santa Claus figure and a collection of brightly wrapped Christmas gifts.

The coolie figure was made of papier mache with an Oriental mask face under his collie hat. This holiday display decorates the home of Mr. and Mrs. James Kalasardo of Pacific Palisades.

Found in the 1959, Better Homes & Gardens' Christmas Ideas.

When Your Plastic Pine Needles Fall...

Here's another version of a tissue paper flower tree, made on last year's tree frame.

Yes, "another version" -- because in this 1959 holiday magazine there's a more, err, traditional tree with tissue paper flowers. I don't honestly know if there is such a thing as a traditional tissue paper blossom decorated Christmas tree... But the other one is huge and I'm saving that one for holiday time. So you get this "diminutive" version, "just right to decorate a dining room or entrance hall table".


I'm not very surprised to find such a "spring posies on a Christmas tree" project; but I am surprised that the last year's artificial tree was plucked of the plastic needles so quickly...

Just in case you need to recycle your artificial tree -- and don't find tissue paper trees anything to sneeze at, here's the pattern & instructions.

Thirteen More Bits 0 Paper Scans

Because I have boxes & boxes (and boxes) of ephemera & greeting cards (old paper) -- and because it's Thursday Thirteen...

13 More Scans Of Old Paper

The first three are vintage illustrations cut out of some publication or another. Two of the three had the poems on the back, and suggest a primer or other children's book. It could have been for really slow adults too -- I know I like them. But then, I am drawn to lovely old drawings and sing-song-y rhyme-y poems (and easily amused).

"A Fairy Went A-Marketing"





"The Snow-Fort"




Trades



OK, enough of the cute stuff.

When you get boxes of old greeting cards, most of them are Christmas cards. Some Most of them are 'retro' and annoying, not cool. So you have to kiss a lot of toads. This one struck me for its inefficiency.

The cover isn't very festive, with it's "Statement At Christmas" tome; and seeing the red mittened hand of Santa doesn't really help.



Inside we find a bland message, which, upon seeing it is a corporate card, makes more sense. No, it's no more festive; but we can forgive companies for not knowing how to be fun. What I cannot forgive is the stupid company name & 'signature'. Just "4 - 0 Cleaners"? How memorable.



If the commercial corporate card was boring, this next one is a hoot. Clearly the art work was created by hand and then printed in some quantity or other. "Merry Christmas Happy '56" from the king and queen -- of cards. You know, the playing kind of cards -- see the suits? Maybe this was specially made for their couples canasta league -- or bridge group. Could be poker. Who knows.



The kicker is the inside quote, written by hand. Which is sort of ironic...

No longer able to write a verse
Even the coloring gets worse
But we're glad we're still able to say
'Have a Joyous Christmas Day"

Oh, Jane and Ray, you're such cards! You ought to be dealt with.



I know I said I was done with the cute stuff and that you're going to see this cute vintage elephant card and yell at me. But hold on there, missy. This isn't just a cute elephant card; this is a vintage 'Secret Pal' elephant card -- complete with a printed 'X' for the mystery signature. I know if I was a Republication, I'd keep it a secret.



Oh yeah, I can hear the Republicans getting their knickers in a knot -- and the cute lovers are up in arms for mocking an innocent baby elephant. Want to get back at me? Write a pithy (spelled p-i-t-h-y, not p-i-s-s-y) comment. Maybe I'll give you an award. Maybe I'll just stalk you on the Internet and send you this card...

Now that you're all keen on cards & graphics you might be inspired to create some art. Valentine's Day is only a week away, and you've got nothing better to do this weekend anyway.

Here we have some Valentine card creation advice, straight from that 1971 Pack-o-Fun, "The Only Scrap-Craft Magazine". Yup, you know when it's from Pack-o-Fun, it will be crap-scraft-actular.

First, the boys get to make "Zany Valentines". 'Zany' in this case means corn-ball kitsch cards with found objects of the more masculine metal variety: hardware. (Must. Resist. All. Puns.) My personal favorite is the "I know it's TACK-less -- But I have to say I love you!" 'Cuz there it is with a tack, so how can it be tack-less?



Please note, if you opt to create variations on the theme, beware what message you use with a screw. (Unless you are a consenting adult with a partner who approves of -- even prefers -- naughty kitschy advances, like us.)

Girls, we they didn't forget you either. Given your potential for hormone induced rages, your altered artsy cards involve softer objects, like frilly laces. In fact, all you're suggested to use is lace. You'll need scissors though, so be sure to use those rounded-tipped ones -- and scream & fuss for help. (Whenever I do, those nice young men in the white coats come to help me.)



My favorite here is the "Can't I RUFFLE your feelings, Valentine?" Any man getting that card is gonna agree that you can; and that's when the fight breaks out. Now, with any luck at all, at this point he'll be holding the impotent lace-card as a weapon, and ladies, you'll have the one with the rusty old metal piece.

Now that you've made all your pretty paper Valentines, you'll need a place to stuff them. :ahem: In case you need help creating animals with heart-shaped heads (the paper kind), I've included both pages of instructions.



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Thirteen Kitschy Christmas Crafty Things

Thirteen Kitschy Christmas Crafty Things Taken from a 1965 Christmas craft publication, these are mostly made with things you have in your home -- so get busy this weekend! Ooooooh, make Santas? Learn decoupage? From instructions on a record? Why a monkey could do it! ...A monkey who understands English, anyway. Now I want to decoupage a monkey. The next few prove that retro 60's persons loved the tinfoil... A tinfoil angel centerpiece: A flaming tinfoil wreath: Tinfoil snowman: And my personal favorite, tinfoil kitty-cat cookie holders -- they're not just for Christmas anymore. Make festive holiday chandeliers out of coat hangers and cone-shaped paper cups. No mention of light, but I guess I'm expecting too much from paper cups and hangers. Or, you could go for something more dreamy & use all your clear glassware, filled with colored water, to make this castle. I don't know that a castle is particularly "Christmas-y" but the 1965 holiday magazine has it in there... Moving on. A good hostess wears pretty holiday petti-skirts: Use your flatware to make a lovely decorative, um... er, serving tray? I guess your guests won't mind a fork that's been taped to a McDonald's tray... Then again, the house was likely set on fire by these candle holders made of paper. Don't forget to stand at the door and hand out these gifts you've made for your guests who run from the fire... Like this flamboyant hairspray can: As the line says, "For the person who has everything..." I know I'd enjoy holding a wet faux fur handle as I brush my teeth... And glitter in your teeth? Makes your guests want to say, "Oh no, you shouldn't have!" But then they notice the guy next to you is getting a well-dressed pet rock: Merry Kitsch-mas!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants