It's April 30, 1960; Do You Know Where You Are?

From The Saturday Evening Post, comes the double-dog-dare, "Where Do You Think You Are?"

East or West, North or South, each of the distinctive areas above appears on the road map of a single state. There is, as the saying goes, "no place like it." Can you identify the states?

Harley P. Cook

Think you know your 1960's maps? (Or perhaps it is more accurate to say 1950's maps...) Maybe you're just a smarty pants. Whatever. Post your (however well-educated) guesses. I'll post the answers later in the week.

7/16/08 Update -- With The Answers!
(complete with 1960 state abbreviations, for that full-bodied retro taste)

1. Mass
2. Colo
3. Mo.
4. Wis.
5. Idaho
6. N.J.
7. Iowa
8. Ariz.
9. Va.
10. Me.
11. S.C.
12. Wash.

Looks like Jason was right - congrats, map geek.

Second Place Steve was just 5 minutes off; story of his life, ey.

Dance Lessons From Betty White

I have a HUGE crush on Betty White, so I want this.

Miss MoPar Says

When I was 14 or 15, just prior to sneaking into bars at 16, me & my teenage gal-pals went down to our local "strip" to cruise for guys -- who were cruising their cars. Back then, all the cool boys were "MoPar men".



As I learned nothing about cars (but plenty about boys) during this time, I have nothing to say about the ad -- other than I would have loved to be Miss MoPar, at least the Miss MoPar of our town.

Via Flickr.

Making Them Face The Music

Penn students demonstrate to have courses in music education, business education and health education, restored to the curriculum, June 4, 1952.

Someone Needs A Napkin

Via LJ's Vintage Ad Community -- someone there has been taking a lot of our scans lately, but not crediting us. :sigh:

Get Your Rockin' Flock On

This black vinyl record case with "records" flocked in red is enough to make me see stars -- but just to be sure we see them, gold ones are printed on the inside.

13 Funky Images & Kitschy Phrases From A Vintage Dry Cleaning Booklet

13 Funky Images & Kitschy Phrases From A Vintage Dry Cleaning Booklet
(And It's Cooler Than You Think!)

All images & quotes are from the November 1953 issue of Silhouette, a promotional paper pushing (surprise!) dry cleaning.

1)

2) Two For Dreaming was a feature on holiday gowns.



3) It features a poetry-jam which romanticizes fashion as it eroticizes & enslaves women:

It starts with Thanksgiving... the party nights that are strung like glittering jewels on a chain... ending only when the echoes of the New Year have faded to silvery whispers. You will spin across polished floors--the answer to someone's most intimate dreams--in the timeless femininity of a beautiful ball dress. You will choose white for its kinship to new-fallen snow... or pale blue for tis affinity to a wintry scene. And you will see that your lovely gown does things for you... like moulding your bodice with a tempter's touch... whirling your skirt for the grace of the dance... making you the most distinguished memory a man can know.

Damn, that's hot. So hot that I don't really register all the "you will" commands as I am brainwashed into wanting a beautiful ball gown... and to polish those floors. Just to be the answer to someone's most intimate dreams!

I will choose white.

Or pale blue. I haven't quite decided yet.

But then there are other choices.

4) Like what to do about fur... It's a VIP (very important pelt), and even if I go faux, there are many things to consider. Like which ones are kindest to my dry cleaner. Thank goodness I can read Fashion Moves Furward for some help. (And more puns!)

5)



6) In Hair Today... Glamour Tomorrow, by Eleanor Page Hamilton, I get more than the usual tips for setting curls and figuring out how to part my hair for my face shape -- I get this gem:

Arthur "Bugs" Baer -- and I quote -- says, "Nothing drabbles a doll more than soggy bangs." He claims he knows a gal who has such a neurosis about this that she wears a rubber bathing cap whenever she makes cocktails. Okay, so maybe she is a character!

I can't possibly add anything to that. Really. Just feel free to work all of that into conversation at your Fourth of July celebrations.

7)


8) From The Top Drawer includes this bit of knowledge:

Department Of Nothing New: Feminine witchery in the form of knee-hugging breeches is just another steal from the masculine world. In case you care, men of distinction wore tight-laced knee pants, call culottes, in 1735.

Son of a breech! Did this publication aimed at women just accuse the very same of witchery & pantsing men?

Please return to the tempter's touch...

9)


10) On Your Feet continues the puns and enlightens us regarding shoes. The top shoe there, the 'golden sandals' (as if we can see that in black & white), were designed for "the glamorous Queen Elizabeth". You don't hear that phrase much anymore.

11) In Permanent Reminders we learn to employ pipe cleaners to catch the "short wisps at the nape of your neck" when giving yourself a home permanent.

Huh. Dames and dolls were to use the professional services of a dry cleaner, but eschew those of the professional salon.

12)



13) King Cord. It's no joke.

No wonder the touch of corduroy is like a gentle kiss on the fingertips -- it once was the rainment of royalty. It originated in the court of France and became known as cord du roi -- cord of kings.

The idea of an entire royal court swoosh-swoosh-swooshing from corduroy is hysterical. Especially the French.

Did they also invent the pearlized snap for shirts? That goes great with cords.



The End.


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Behold The Bejeweled Pink Poodle Paintings

From eBay, of course.

For The Man Who Has Everything - And Wants To Get Rid Of It

Sunbeam gifts equal divorce.

Beautify Your Knob

Ah, doorknobs: today, we've returned to simple efficiency -- but back in the 1950s, style went into everything, all the way down to the knobs. Just look at that huge molded star surrounding an otherwise plain knob -- it looks like if you grab the doorknob wrong, you're risking a slashed palm and one less finger than you're accustomed to. Extreme care was needed when opening doors in the fifties. Here's some close-ups of other examples:


I'm rather disappointed at how they cheated: there's only 5 distinct plates here...they rotated the square one 45°, they added a background for the rectangle grid and star. I can't imagine these are the only options -- there had to be something at least as gaudy. It's sad to think that these were so utterly, overpoweringly 1950s, that they all went in the dump shortly thereafter. I don't think I've ever seen any of these in the wild, and I've been to a lot of ugly houses. The clean lines of modernism killed off all the fun.

Chicky-Chicky-Coo

You're time is running out --- Easter us just around the corner, and you haven't gotten your chicks yet? Today, you're going to get into trouble for buying baby animals just for Easter entertainment. Back in the day, there were enough farming families around with easy access to chicks to make dyeing them for Easter a popular event; they'd be kicked back out into the barnyard when Easter passed. Now, you get rich urbanites think that fun looks awfully cute, and try to bring the practice to town...leaving unhappy birds and bunnies with no good home. These ads from 1952 were for farmers, to bulk up their livestock inventory, and I suppose a couple got a dose of beet juice on Good Friday; let's hope none found their way into the cities, lest Joey and Chandler take them in!

What Sci-Fi Folks Were Up To In 1959

From SaFari, issue #2, a sci-fi fanzine by Earl Kemp, part of a series of fanzines Kemp published for the Spectator Amateur Press Society, or SAPS (SAPS # 48). Follow the links and you'll see the accompanying photos.



Included are Harlan Ellison, Wilson Tucker and Robert Bloch.

Modern Woman Monday: No, You Can't Be An FBI Agent

Today's Modern Woman Monday comes from that November 1957 issue Good Housekeeping, which begins:

Although no woman can be an actual "FBI Special Agent," there are some 5,000 of them doing the bulk of the technical and clerical work that helps catch criminals: searching indexes, preparing laboratory reports, and reviewing files.

How -- sucky.

Click the pic to read a larger scan of Jobs for Women in the FBI.

Fun With 13 Images From a Dutch Household Encyclopedia

Having Fun With 13 Images From a Dutch Household Encyclopedia

Found at Flickr, without any text or descriptive info, we might as well enjoy them by adding our own meanings...

1) Hey, look at you! You're really growing-up and the talk of the town. It's time to start looking for a mate or before you know it you'll be one of those old maids!



2) Beauty begins now. Best start preparing your own rituals of lotions & potions to preserve in wax what you can of your youth.



3) You might need some guidance and help with determining your own beauty needs. Then, as now, the rule remains: All the best hairdressers are gay.



4) How does she stay so fair?


Hats with brims rounder & wider than her derriere.

5) Remember, hats must match the purse.



6) Maintaining your figure is important. "Wide" is not lovely, but protrusion is.


An improbably large and pointy bosom a-top a whisper of waist is as important as a bodonkadonk bottom.

7) Remember, men appreciate require a woman who is obedient. Think back to your poodle and practice prancing to please your own master!


Remember, you'll need to learn his personal preferences so that when he says, "Jump!" you'll know just how high.

8) Advice on selecting a mate continues.


Should you suffer from large, wide, puffy hips, try to find a mate with an enormous head. While walking side-by-side, your hips will seem more naturally sized in the shadow of his out of proportion head.


9) We've all heard the sordid tales of babies who do not look like their daddies... But sometimes babies will not look like their mommies. Don't ask; just let it pass.



10) Any frustration you have can be released by shopping. Let the distraction of matching accessories -- and his department store bill -- be your consolation.



11) A word on dads and childrearing... Dads do not rear their children.


It is so unlikely that even the artist drew a question mark by the little girl's potty.

12) Should you ever see such things, rest assured they are hallucinations -- and seek medical attention. Your doctor will know what to do and prescribe just the right pills for your ills.



13) Should it all ever become too much for you, slip your pills into his dinner -- just be sure not to give little Johnny the same Special Daddy Dish!




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Modern Woman Monday: Accessories

Accessories are important to the modern woman. Shoes & a matching purse, gloves...


And a spare head.

Just in case modern life should cause you to lose yours.

From the As She Was Flickr Group.

The Date Line, 1957

Thirteen Points Along "The Date Line"

The Date Line: Facts & Fancies for the Girl in School, by Jan Landon, as it appeared in the November 1957 issue of Good Housekeeping.



#1 Boys in bottles.

Boys in bottles are a flash fad in Kansas... to get a pickled effect like this, girls back the picture with cardboard, brace them with clothes-hanger wire, and float them in colored water... others just paste glossy prints inside the bottle with rubber cement -- either way is pretty eerie while it lasts.

Ya think?Amazingly, the photo of a bottled-boy is credited to Dare Wright. (I have a huge crush on Dare Wright and her works-- so does Slippity-Do-Da.)

#2 All the, er, cool girls are doin' it...

That outgrown game, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, is roaring back in a new Southern version" "Pin-the-sideburn-on-Elvis." !.....

I wonder if it continued with fat-Elvis too? Girls in the south, who were learning to deep-fat-fry any and all foods, must have continued to love Fat Elvis, right?

#3 I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed to be from Wisconsin...

In Wisconsin they say the girl's "got him drafted" when the boy's hooked...

How cheesy.

#4 I'm beginning to suspect this groovy knowledge isn't for "the girl in school", but for her parents... Like some sort of "how to understand your teenager" and "learn the lingo" advice column.

"It's been a hunk of heaven, but I think I'll jump for earth," means the party, evening, or romance is over.

#5 Of course, every school girl wants to know how the ultra glam college girls are wearing their sweaters...


#6 For the cool girl in school, tips on making an autograph belt. Ingredients are as simple as the sideburn-pinning-girls are: a plain, wide leather belt and press-on gold-leaf.


Next they giveth, then taketh... A crafty idea and then an equally crafty insult.

#7 First a DIY tip for using clothesline rope, painted in bright enamel paint to make "un-run-of-the-mill" necklaces for "medallions". Take that crafty tip and choke on it.

#8 Don't like that insult? How about this insult then: "Your mother must have bought you with green stamps!" It is the latest insult. (It may seem weird for a ladies' magazine to give insult tips -- but what sort of person actually takes such advice?)

#9 This next one makes me feel better about being a cheesy Wisconsin girl; at least I'm not from Texas.

Every rooter pops a blown-up paper bag at the kick-off of special games at Amarillo High, Texas

#10 But still, Texas girls are less icky than these girls...

Right after the Chicopee High, Mass., teams wins a big game, girls beg boys for, of all things, the chin straps of their football helmets... straps are prized collectors' items, hung like trophies on bedroom walls.

Hey, don't say, "Of all things," because heaven knows a sweaty chin strap worn by a pimply lad is leagues better than other straps -- begged for or not.

#11 This next bit features "grab-bag evenings", heh heh. Oh wait -- it's not quite the snarky fun it sounds like... The 'grab-bags' aren't ugly girls after all.