Monday, December 21, 2009

Beware: His Tattoo Will Put Your Eye Out

Who doesn't love A Christmas Story? (It's one of my favorite -- though newer -- holiday film traditions) But dude, a tattoo? ...Won't your next favorite film make you remove it?

Tat belongs to Jim of the Spectremen, who recorded a song called Red Rider, a tribute to Ralphie.

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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Easter Bunny Ferret Funny


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Thursday, January 8, 2009

Some-Bunny Ears Ursula Andress

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Saturday, September 27, 2008

Night of the Lepus

Some people Live-Twitter the debates; I opt to Live-Twitter my viewing of Night of the Lepus, starring Stuart Whitman, Janet Leigh, Rory Calhoun, DeForest Kelley, & Paul Fix. Here it is, cut & pasted for you, typos and all.
Watching Night of the Lepus - when rabbits terrorize! Still less strange than Palin/McCain campaign

Yes, yes, go in cellar to hide from rabbits.

Slow motion humungoid bunnies running to slow version of Twilight Zone's do-do-do-do. Excellent.

Why didn't they stop for the lone guy with a rifle acting so crazy on the side of the road? Huh.

Ah, the turn-off to Woodale is a dirt road... that seems to bode that they are safe.

Giant rabbits fill the wild-west general store!! No need for cheezy music -- I am enthralled!

A helicopter approaches. I am waitnig for a giant bunny to rear up and snatch it from the sky... I wait for it.

Siren sound effect is large kazoo?

Maybe just a child going "wooooOOoooo WoOOOOoooo"

"Attention" police say to drive-in movie attendees, "There'a a herd of large attacking rabbits, evacuate!"

Giant killer rabbits killed on railroad tracks -- electrocuted. Or shot. I can smell the burning fur.

Goodness is restored to the earth. Children play in fields. Roll credits.

Thank you, Turner Classic Movies.
Should this interest you at all, why not watch the trailer?

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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Bunny Babbits


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Thursday, February 14, 2008

13 Retro Nylon Netting... Nightmares?

Got lots of netting and a hankering for cutesy critter madness -- but lacking the imagination or instruction necessary to get started? Well, kiddos, this is your lucky day...

1) Nylon Net Novelties (1967) is 23 pages of kitschy retro goodness, sure to keep you busy for hours and hours -- with the added benefit of annoying everyone you know by giving them all your 'handicrafted' offspring.

I know you're all dying to see more of the poodle.

But it's my blog, so we're paging through this my way.

As expected, there are lots of pink frothy things, like topiaries and other centerpieces, for bridal and baby showers. (Since this is the 1960's, yes, the order matters.)

Frankly, upon first seeing the cover, I had little hope for this old craft publication... Too much frilly pink. Even for this kitschy girl. Combined with the memories of seeing such frilly, yet faded, netting nightmares, I remembered that their true function seems to be the ability to retain dust. Grandma dusted, perhaps around her tea cup collection, but I'd actually seen her lift and shake the (once) pink topiary. But it still smelled and made me sneeze. Perhaps these nasty-netting things were the inspiration for early dusting tools...

Oh, Hazel, Hazel Pearson, founder of Hazel Pearson Handicrafts, what have you done?

Like the Rolling Stones, all this sickness and I could suck a...

2) Duck.

OoooOOoh, feather options!

(See what I mean? A feather duster.)

3) The obligatory Net Santa.

I thought Santa had some sort of fungal infection in his eyes, but after perusing the crafting instructions it seems that those large orbs are 'cheeks' not 'eyes'. The eyes, in fact, are actually nothing more than lashes... Go ahead, click and look at the larger scan if you don't believe me. So it's no wonder we are confused that the balls we see are not eyeballs.

All I know is, if I put that up during the Christmas holiday season, none of my kids would dare to stay up late and see him -- and be on the 'Naughty' list? Hyeell no.

But it gets worse.

4) Meet the candy-ass clown.

I don't just say that because of my dislike and fear of clowns (one clown did try to kill me), but I say it because this clown has netted body -- including his tush -- designed to be filled with candy.

Mmmm Mmm, dusty candy.

5) Up next, a ballerina -- and the more curious elephant.

I know I'm simple, but I'm confused by the two-sentence set of instructions:
For party-time fun "Pink Elephant, of white foam, is secured to a base trimmed with wide net ruffles. Pearlized grapes add a gay touch.
OK, so the pink elephant is made of white foam... Color issues aside, were there once just rows of elephant foam forms? (And try to say that quickly on the phone while frantic for such supplies.)

Call me crazy, but how low-brow was crafting then that a project had less steps than assembling something from IKEA? Wouldn't it just be easier, and more creative, to take juniors stuffed toy, wrap a ribbon or ruffle around it, and smack it down in the center of the table?

6) I won't lie to you. The only reason this next one is here is because I have a thing for storks. (See part of my stork collection here.)

7) I honestly did spare you pages of wedding & anniversary hearts, nosegays, and umbrellas, but these baby shower centerpieces needed to be seen.

Besides, 'highly flammable' and the obvious 'kitsch' tag, what else would you call these? They hold the same creepy fascination for me as taxidermy. And that means I might rubber-neck, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to make one.

Come to think of it, nominating yourself to do the shower decorations with this booklet in hand, and you might find yourself never having to do anything but bring chips to every gathering you attend -- for the rest of your life.

7a) What should be here is a page on how to make a table skirt of netting for a wedding reception. I didn't scan & post it because if you can't figure that out, well, I've got a paper bag for you to try to find your way out of.

8) Here we have a 'soap fish' and 'peacock soap' -- don't ask me why the names are the way they are... Perhaps it is because the fish is so simple, twist netting around a small soap and glue some googly-eyes on it (yeah, yeah, some sequins too), that the emphasis should be on the soap. Which would make the more elaborate peacock more for advanced netters. (Certainly more sophisticated than the table cloth.)

9) Next up is the the poodle. Don't get all excited now; I wasn't even going to share this scan with you. For some reason I just didn't think you'd be worthy of Lu-Lu The Poodle. If you've ever been in a thrift store you've seen lots of Lu-Lus who need homes... Do you have any idea how many Lu-Lus are euthanized each year because none of you adopt them?

But, there, beneath Lu-Lu was a loo-loo of another sort.

10) Yup, that's Charlie the Caterpillar. Isn't that sad? That someone would be so lacking in imagination they wouldn't be able to roll netting up and glue a face on it without instructions?

...But we aren't done yet. Not with crafty netting; not with sadness.

If you thought instructions for Charlie and a netting table cloth overlay were sad -- or even just 'filler' to get to 23 pages -- you've no idea what's next.

There, beneath the topiary...

11) The 'Peony Scouring Pad', no matter how high and fancy its pedestal is, is laugh-out-loud funny.

I know this isn't any different in design that the bath puffs we all use with our shower gel -- but not even Dove calls it a 'Peony'. And while that netting is scratchy, is it tougher than Chore Boy or steel wool? Really?

What a horrible, horrible shower gift. I buy a place setting or a high chair for this shower and I get this?!

May I trade it for your caterpillar, please? Because I don't want what's coming up.

12) I'm guessing just posting the phrase 'net monkey' here is going to result in some Internet searchers to be frustrated... I don't know what it means, but I'm pretty sure those darn kids do; and it probably isn't pretty. But then neither is this nylon netting monkey.

My brother-in-law says that any words ending in 'k e y' are funny (go ahead, say 'monkey' and 'donkey' and you'll see he's onto something there), but this monkey, by virtue of his 'net' status, is creepy. Worthy of display near any dead animal art -- or, perhaps, some would say, part of my creepy doll collection. But I just don't think I could put Net Monkey next to Big Toe Joe. Not and feel good about it, anyway.

13) Last, I'll leave you with Net Bunny. Note, he is not the Easter Bunny; one assumes that he has many more functions to attend & perform.

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

How Much Is That Bunny In The Refrigerator?

Yes, Virginia, that's really a bunny-rabbit in a refrigerator. No, it's not a curb-side fridge.

"Why is he in there?!" you ask? Why are you asking me -- do you think I put him in there? Well, if you must know (and who the hell doesn't?) the article reads:
Contented Bunny Demonstrates How Air-Conditioning Works In Modern Ice Refrigerator

A black and white bunny with big gentle eyes and a contented expression attracted more attention at the recent Chicago furniture show than did all the modern sofas and transparent plastic tables shown for the first time.
Sheesh, what bunny wouldn't be more interesting than sofas and plastic tables? Oh, but you see, this is 1943. Apparently plastic tables, transparent or no, are all the rage. But they still can't out-do a bunny in a fridge, you say?

Hey, wait... It's 1943, there's a war on... Is that bunny for eating?
The bunny, prominently featured as "the Contented Rabbit," inhabited the food compartment of a new Coolerator ICE Refrigerator and looked out at the passing throng from a window in its door.

Why shut an innocent live rabbit in in a refrigerator? Because the Contented Rabbit demonstrated to the public in this dramatic manner that there is a constantly-changing flow of pure, fresh, properly-conditioned air within the food compartment of an Ice Refrigerator. If this were not so, the rabbit could not live in the tightly closed food compartment. He would suffocate for lack of air.
Click the scan to read the rest.

From Modern Woman Magazine, "a magazine published by the ice industry", George M. Wessells, Publisher, Volume 12, Number 2, copyright, 1943.

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