Sitting Ork Style

A retro Mork & Mindy paint by number by Craft Master -- which I just wrote a history of, and so discovered this image at the Paint By Number Museum.

70's Teen Beauty Diary Entry

In 1975 Teen Magazine advised us to "Go Curly", using our makeup pencils as curlers.


OK, I'll admit that we tried this, my friend Mary & I. We were too young & silly -- hopped up on soda pop, disco music and teenybopper posters from Tiger Beat -- not to know what would happen. Which, in case you didn't see it coming, was the following:

• dots & streaks in shades of pink, red, blue & lavender on our faces, ears and necks from the pencils
• pencils so coated in styling gunk they had to be tossed out (no amount of shaving/sharpening could save them because they crusty stuff would transfer to our hands and flake on our faces during use)
• no curls to speak of because we had no clever way to hold the pencils in our hair (we were modern steam-curl girls)
  

It was an insane, unsanitary, hairy mess; the best thing of which is being able to share this bit from my teen beauty diary with you -- 33 years later.

That 70's Purse Comes A-Calling

New old stock vintage 70's Dallas Handbags Telephone purse:

Shiny black vinyl embossed to replicate alligator, the handle of the purse is the phone handset.

A large and roomy size, it measures 14 2/3" long and 12" high, not including the handle. The bag has a long shoulder strap.

Never used, the hang tag instructions are still attached, the original paper stuffing is still in the bag and the cellophane wrapper is still on the handset (removed for the pictures). The bag is in mint condition and has the telephone cord included. And, yes it does work, tested it.

It's Always Something: Teen Dares Of 1971

In January of '71, Teen dared us to do some radical things, like decorate our rooms, to use Kool-Aid labels to decorate our shoes...


And to braid our hair, Bo Derek style -- in precisely 20 braids.

I did that once. Well, I had my sister braid my hair, using those tiny rubber bands which were supposed to be for our braces; and I don't think we ever bothered to count the braids...

Anyway, while I looked nothing like Bo, I wore my hair thus to the one and only car race I went to. On a dirt track.

I was so bored, and annoyed by being sprayed with dirt every turn, that I busied myself with unbraiding my hair, and soon looked like Roseanne Roseannadanna.


Just imagine trying to wash the chunks of dirt out of that.

Like the two-tone lip freak-fest, I do not advise the braiding of hair; it can lead to drinking the Kool-Aid proffered by cults.

But then, hey, your sister can make some cool shoes.

Flashback: Thirteen Retro Teen Girly Things

Thirteen Retro Girly Things If you were a teen-age girl in the late 60's or early 70's you likely recognize these beauties... Prissy the plush orange piggy bank was more than a piggy bank, he was a dust magnet. Dudley Donkey sat on your bed -- tucked inside were your pajamas. He may have been a little juvenile in your teen years, but keeping him on your bed made your parents still think you were a little kid and so trusted you to have boys in your room. (When boys were in your room, Dudley was quickly tossed under the bed.) When you weren't sobbing into your donkey pj holder that your boobs still hadn't come in, you consoled yourself crafting positive self-image dolls, like Uncommonly Easy Skinny Minnie. OK, so her real name is "Skinny Minnie" and the directions were "uncommonly easy", but your eyes were still filled with tears and you read it wrong, thus leading you into a confusing period of sexual promiscuity once your breasts did bud. Ha Ha, grandma made you this crochet tic-tac-toe top! Before the rick-rack shortage of '78 (also know as solid-hem Wednesday), you made snakes and dolls using nothing more than needle, thread, rick-rack, felt, and your imagination. Actually, little imagination was involved; there were patterns. Sleepy Sally held your curlers. And scared your little brother. (A good place to keep your diary, no?) Mod Maud was another curler holder, purchased to replace Sleepy Sally who was destroyed in that lighter fight with your brother that first night mom and dad left you in charge while they went to couples bowling. (Can't they trust you for a few hours? They almost had to drop out of the league because of you!) Knot Freddie The Hung up Owl "added to your hangups", consequently you hated that your mother made him. (In her defense, Knot Freddie was therapy recommended by her counselor as mom got off the anti-depressants, let her arm-pit hair grow, and adjusted to dad's new pants-wearing secretary.) A Logan's Run paperback -- because that Michael York's sooooo dreamy! Kookie Komber was another pj bag. He was given to you by your BFF, Lisa, who thought Kookie looked like a pubic hair patch while you were out shopping at Spencer's Gifts. More than an inside joke, Kookie also held your reefer. (Making Kookie, what? An inside toke?) Greta the autograph cat was a gift from Grandma. You screamed, "I love it!" when you opened the gift because anything other than a tic-tac-toe top was an improvement. A copy of Gods, Demons and Space Chariots by Eric Norman. The man wasn't gonna keep the truth from you! BFF Jill's mom was cool enough to order the Secret of the Sea beauty boutique by Dorothy Gray for you (a whopping $6, then a membership, but Jill's mom did use a lot of makeup anyway). Plus the DG eau de toilet spray covered-up the pot smell... Was mom getting suspicious, or was the pot making you paranoid? Ooooh, who's got a groovy auntie who crochets hot-pants? At first you thought you were cool because your mom actually let you wear them (the therapy was working, even if you had owls all over the house). But the joke was on you because you had knots where knots should never, ever be.

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