Hires Root Beer Package, 1890

Make five gallons of beer for just a quarter -- and it's medicinal!



Ad in the December, 1890 issue of Peterson's Magazine.

Skin Cancer For Christmas? You Shouldn't Have!

A holiday ad from 1967 for the GE Tanity Case -- a vanity case, but with everything for a tan: sunlamp, holder, eye shields & sun cream.

Giant Thinks Jack A Killer-Diller

A 1936 Dentyne gum ad.

Into The 60s With Air BP

Another ad from inside 1961 BEA "About Your Flight" Booklet.

7 Maids A-Milking -- To Music

Ad for Bag Balm found in the February 1943 issue of Farm Journal and Farmer's Wife magazine.

Trouble Keeping Your Hose Up?

Start pulling at the neck.


1921 ad for Wilson Garters, found in The Modern Priscilla magazine.

Girls Who Do Needlework Are Heterosexual

And they're proud of it too.


Boye Needle Company proclaimed "Girls Like Boye's" and proffered a tee-shirt which read "Every Girl needs a Boye" on the back cover of McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring 1978 issue.

Thinking I just might be willing to kill for one of those shirts, I did a search at eBay for Every Girl needs a Boye -- and finding just one (irrelevant) result, do you know what eBay suggested I might have meant?

Did you mean... every girl needs a bone ?

Now that's funny. And redundant.

7 Years Of Constipation

By then I think you'd be dead.



Ad found in 1936, True Confessions.

You Still Have A Chance To Get Into The Movies

Well, Hold-Bobs did offer you the chance to get a free screen test in Universal Pictures "Search For Talent Movie Truck" back in 1936. It's not their fault if you weren't born yet. Or maybe your parents just warned you about talent searches in the back of trucks... Mine sure did.

Retro Alfa Romeo Ad

French ad in 1961 Maxim's Booklet

Everything's Better When It's Kitsch On A Ritz

Retro ad for Ritz Crackers from the June 1968 issue of Family Circle via Flickr.

Warning: Your Male Bosom Is Bunchy

That's news from The American Shirt Front -- at the informal dance, anyway. You can avoid this and other shirt mishaps this holiday season by wearing Arrow Shirts. At least the 1941 variety, as this ad was found in that year's Liberty magazine.

1921 Doll Lamp

Ad for the "Cute Lite" found in the April 1921 issue of The Modern Priscilla.

Eyelashes Like Fork Tines

Maybe it's Maybelline.



In January 1936, True Confessions.

Yeast, The New Way -- And You'll Like It

You'll like yeast this new way -- um, why is she lifting her leg like that? What kind of yeast are we talking about here?



From Liberty, February 22, 1941.

Correcting Ill-Shaped Noses At Home

And where else would you do it?



An ad in Beautiful Womanhood, Edited by Mrs. Bernarr MacFadden, November, 1923.

Would You Believe A Talking Dog?

Teach your dog to talk! Record & book tells the whole 'doggone' story.



Ad found in the February 13, 1979 National Enquirer (which explains why the dog looks a lot like Benji).

Remember When You Could Smoke On A Plane?

Me neither. But this page inside my 1961 BEA "About Your Flight" Booklet reminds us not only could you smoke on an airplane, but that airlines would actually supply the smokes.

Cuddle & Kitschy Coo The Swan

This ad for Swan Soap & features Joan Davis and CBS as well as mentions Davis as the star of "George White's Scandals", an RKO Radio Picture. I just dig the adorable swan.


The ad appears on the back cover of Calling All Girls, December, 1945.

Mail-Order Monkeys

Man, before the internet and the ability to download 'virtual' crap, you could get all sorts of real things via mail-order:


Yes, squirrel monkeys could actually be mailed to you, in a tiny little box (sundress not included), and you could have a best friend with a prehensile tail. I mean, other than Roger Coulter from 5th period, because he's just creepy. The squirrel monkey was guaranteed delivered alive, so if a dead monkey appeared in your mailbox, you had some sort of recourse. If you wanted two Minneapolis monkeys -- two monkeys!?! -- you could save a fivespot on the deal. Hopefully, you'll be well-prepared for its arrival; otherwise you might end up with angry parents and an arm full of stitches. My ad came from a 1963 issue of McCall's Needlework & Crafts.

Sucaryl On This

Slenderella, packed by Richmond-Chase Company, featured Sucaryl® -- "the magic sweetener that doesn't add one single calorie". The cutie-patootie in the ad exclaims, "...so finally I tried slenderella low-calorie foods... and look what happened to itty-bitty me!"



I look slimmer when I wear my tablecloths too, bitch.

But seriously... Sucaryl ® is Cyclamate, and was banned in the US for cancer. Which sort of begs the question about just what would be the cause of any weight loss.

If you can stand more strange factoids about Sucaryl®, check this info from Wikipedia:

Like many artificial sweeteners, the sweetness of cyclamate was discovered by accident. Michael Sveda was working in the lab on the synthesis of anti-fever medication. He put his cigarette down on the lab bench and when he put it back in his mouth he discovered the sweet taste of cyclamate.

Just how do lab rats manage to survive at all?

Ad found in The Dakota Farmer, "Dakota's Own Magazine", April 18, 1959.