The Get Out! Kitschy Kitschy Coo Award is given by Pop Tart and reflects Pop Tart's enjoyment of mocking, amusing, and amazing comments made at any of her blogs, including her blog posts at CQ.
The award gives more than a nod to Elaine Benes, only Pop Tart's incredulity isn't mocking; she's really amazed &/or amused. Pop Tart reserves the right to remove the mocking element in the "Get out!" because the person commenting has already provided that. Plus, she's not shoving you.
Or perhaps it's that your comments are Elaine-esque, giving a full frontal shove to Pop Tart. But we'll leave that debate to the philosophers in the crowd.
Should you be clever enough to be given the "Get Out!" Award, feel free to display the award with a link back to Kitschy Kitschy Coo (either to the post where Pop Tart awards it to you, or the blog's main URL, Kitschy-Kitschy-Coo.Com).
Most collectors will admit they are more than a little mad... But it takes a special kind of crazy to collect old magazines.
First there's the sadness as you grab box after box of vintage and retro crafting, how-to, and do-it-yourself magazines at an estate sale or auction... All the unfinished work speaks of lives that weren't finished.
And then there's the general craziness of what's inside the pages. Who said these were good ideas? And when it comes to women's magazines there's the perpetual, "Who bought this crap -- bought into this crap?"
One cannot help but mull the sanity & happiness, insanity & unhappines, of the former magazine owners... Today, I do so with 13 examples of mockable magazine scans.
(And yes, whenever I mock the previous owners of these magazines I am reminded of what others will think of all these boxes of magazines that I'll leave behind. I said it's a special kind of crazy.)
1) Via this 1971 Pack-o-Fun, "The Only Scrap-Craft Magazine", I am reminded why I don't recommend putting your children in scouting. Or elderly folks into those crafting classes at the old folks' home. Little's much sadder than instructing people to make dolls out of garbage -- unless it's dangerous dolls made of plastic dry cleaner bags, stuffed with facial tissue, and drawn on with markers.
While they admonish giving these dolls to babies who will put things in their mouths, they also say that "these cuddly little dolls will become favorites of the toddler set." Toxic teethers, poisonous pacifiers; a garbage doll by any other name is just fine as long as your child is mature enough, by 2, to know better. (No mention that suffocation by plastic dolls or marker fumes may cause retardation, rendering your smart toddler as dumb as a baby.)
2) Foiled again. From the same magazine, this is eggs-actly what you think it is: egg cartons covered with tin foil, used as a lighting fixture.
What? You're waiting for me to add something? The idea should be enough -- plus, you've got the groovy photo.
3) Home Kinks magazine isn't what you think it is. Or maybe it is; maybe you're not as twisted as I am. Or maybe you are just as twisted, but you just knew this was a Popular Mechanics publication (1947). The cover boasts of a frying pan shield on page 18. I didn't scan it, but to end your suspense, I'll confirm that it's precisely what it looks like: a cake cover cut-out to allow access to the contents of the frying pan.
4) On page 9 we all learn how to make a Dutch Boy cutout to hold a kitchen broom. I'm not going to mock this; I long for the good old days when copying corporate logos for home use was de rigeur.
5)On page 94 we have (further) proof of my mental illness. Something has been cut out -- presumably the order form for the 102 time saving, money saving, money making, helpful, inexpensive easy to use... guides, as selected by the blue X's. But that's not good enough.
This magazine is incomplete; therefore I am incomplete.
6) The October 1975 issue of Women's Circle Homeworker "shows you the way to home money making." (I have to admit I read the title as 'homewrecker', but maybe that's because I just know a lady making extra 'pin money' isn't the sort of girl dear old dad can stay married to.)
The cover proclaims, "Women Paperhangers Earn $5 Per Hour". I guess that was startling in 1975 -- but not for the reasons you think.
7) As the story continues on page 31, the headline, "Women paperhangers are still around", tells us that in 1975 paperhanging was considered to be on the outs with the modern home working woman. I guess wallpaper hanging was that 'oldest profession' folks refer to.
I'd also like to note that in 1975, the was a shortage of pithy, pun-ny writers or else there should have been a pun about women paperhangers still hanging around.
8) At the end of the article, Edna Shimp, wallpaper professional gal, recommends, "If you are contemplating decorating, think wallpaper." Surprise, Edna shills!
9) Super double bonus points for a women's lib mag calling women 'gals'.
10) And tack on an extra 100 points for the corner call for 'junior achievers', women "below the age of 20". Sheesh.
11) In the January, 1964 issue of The Workbasket, there's an ad for Yum Yum perfume.
When you are asked say Yum Yum!
Our new perfume is so delightful that we just had to name it YUM YUM. The fragrance lasts and is very subtle. Its exquisite tones are remembered fondly.
When you are asked, say "Yum Yum!" OK, so picture it... Your meet a swell feller, and whatever he asks, you reply, "Yum Yum," as directed. Later on the feller asks his buddies, "What was the name of that retarded girl... I am fond of her smell."
12) On the opposite page, we are asked to choose between "this or this" with the choices being to have, or not to have, bunions.
Naturally, all we can reply is, "Yum Yum!"
13) Below that ad, an ad for a job to work at home doing invisible mending.
In many communities invisible menders are scarce: service is expensive -- often unavailable. Can you learn to do this fascinating, profitable work?
"Yum Yum!" is our instinctive reply. (Oh, yes; it sucks to have the ads near the Yum Yum Parfums-Degas ad.)
But then again, perhaps we are just high on the subtle but exquisite smell of our $1 bottle of perfume and so we think maybe, must maybe, we are able to learn such fascinating, profitable work... Or is that the smell of our marker colored suffocation doll? $240 a month buys a lot of $1 per bottle, postpaid, perfume. (We reckon about 180 of 'em.)
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
I'm smitten with AT&T's Valentine's Day ad -- not so much for the phones (I don't even think we get that service here, bastards), but as we all know, I'm a sucker for a puppet show. I partially married hubby for his puppet skills, and if that makes him The Puppet Master and myself the puppet, well, I can live with that.
In the commercial a red boy mouse finger puppet hits on a blue girl squirrel finger puppet:
Mouse: You know what I think? Squirrel: What? Mouse: Heaven must be missing a squirrel.
Ms Squirrel laughs, but you know she falls for it. Just as I have.
AT&T needs to sell me these finger puppets.
Seriously.
Are you listening, AT&T? I don't want an iPhone. Especially as I don't have service for it here. But even if I could, I'd still want those adorable finger puppets more.
I guess this whole post makes me AT&T's puppet, posting their ad like that... Unless they make me the puppets. Then I am The Puppet Master.
This photo is from the June 1966 "Women's Household" magazine. Upon leafing through such an interesting magazine, my eyes stopped at the "All About Pets" section. I stared, dumbfounded, until I read the caption: The caption is "This is Mrs. Noble Christopher holding her pet ground hog. He loves to be held as any other pet does. He is eating an ear of corn in this picture."
I wonder what Mr. Noble thinks of the groundhog...I suppose, until Mrs. Noble starts dressing up Mr. Groundhog in little dresses and petticoats, Mr. Noble will tolerate the critter -- "that weasel is the only thing keeping my Mrs. sane," he'll tell his buddies over coffee down at the Cenex before work, not knowing that his wife is slowly sewing frilly groundhog undergarmets out of his old handkerchiefs. No house-groundhog ever goes undressed.
I don't remember homes heated with coal, but I just thought while they push clean coal at us via commercials we should take this trip down memory lane:
The point of Mute Mondays is to only post images -- I know that. But as a meme, there's no screening process, and so people like me can come along and resist the muzzle. I had to -- today's theme is "collection/collections" and like, duh, that's 'me' to a 'T'.
You know, since I ramble about, & link to, writing at Collectors' Quest, I figured you all knew that hubby and I are columnists there -- but it has been brought to my attention that you did not. So I'm guessing you don't know about the CQ community either... For free you can make a profile, promote your blog, and (the most delicious part) show off your wacky/obscure/unique/valuable collection (or collections) to other nut-jobs collector. That's where all the following images come from...
And my favorite:
(No, he's not mine -- but how adorable is that photo?)
From volume 19, issue 5, of Modern Woman Magazine (1950), I'm not sure this comic has been published for maximum effect with the demographic is served...
Mocking a woman who is quick to race for her nylons, yet slow in traffic, is better suited for a men's mag. Even better, modify it to show a man eager to chase a golf ball about, yet too tired to do anything at home.
And to prove it, the 1953 catalog wants to show you that the little woman can even use the drill press.
One of the inset photos shows a woman with the Delta Shop drill press and the text reads, "Easy to swing drill press into position -- no heavy motor to lift. Tool is perfectly balanced."
And isn't that what every 50's man wanted -- a woman in his shop?
But the reality is that the little woman may object to you buying yourself a pricey, manly toy. In order to over-come any protests on her part, be sure to remind her how practical it is: "Mix foods, salad dressings, meringues, paints and similar things with your drill press."
Mmm, the vinegar and oil salad dressing finally has that manly smell & taste Dad loves!
Of course, if your little woman was one who had herself a job during the war, she really might want to use it. So let her use the drill press to clean those pots and pans; it's "one of many types of jobs women will appreciate."
This poor soul has come down with the deadly disease pomponitis, in which unsightly -- but pleasantly fluffy -- growths protrude from the head in unpleasant ways. Not particularly painful for the sufferer, unless they also happen to be a cat-owner, in which case secondary injuries may be sustained while sleeping. As the patient's illness progresses, the pompons eventually fall off and blow away like tumbleweeds, infecting any they touch. No cure is known, although cats tend to catch the tumbling pompons and extinguish them before they can infect others.
This, in fact, illustrates an advertisment for Brunswick yarns -- Brunswick Worsted Mills, Inc is still around (sadly, without a website), and their instructional booklets abound online. The photo of the woman with pompoms all over her face is not explained in the ad at all -- the only text consists of a catalog of booklet prices. Why would a woman have fluffy yarn balls attached to her head? Only her doctor knows for sure.
1) Rian Fike of Full Body Transplant says that I am "the Snark MASTER!" Likely this post disappoints in that regard, but there's always another post to be made...
The purpose of this meme is to give high-fives to 5 people, posts, blogs and/or websites you've admired during the week. I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 5 high-fives on Friday. Trackbacks, pings, linky widgets, comment links accepted!
Visiting fellow High-Fivers is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your High-Fives in others comments (please note if NWS).
From a 1953 issue of Mine, a Catholic children's magazine, comes this children's four-panel comic of two little people.
I'm not certain which is Tom, which is Tim; but one's thing's for certain -- one of these Christian fairies is secure enough in his masculinity to wear pink.
I was very serious today in my T13 at CQ. And that exhausted me. I could have gone to bed -- should have gone to bed; but then what would you do without your dose of Pop Tart T13 Snark?
Anyway, I had these images left over, see, and I don't want the scans to go bad! The trouble is, they really don't have a theme...
OK, so how about telling it like it is: Thirteen Old Things Which Get My Snark On.
1) Guys are worried about shrinkage.
That's about all I'm at liberty to say at this PG-13 blog. No, no; there'll be no comments from me about Moms, balls, or hot water -- or anything else.
2) Is it just me, or did Disney rip-off Lilo from these retro dolls?
3) And speaking of law suits, I hope Mary Jane's last name was "Moppet"...
4) OK, remember how we once called those big-boned boys "husky"? Heck, maybe we still do; I just don't have a husky son, so I don't know if that label has really gone away... But I am oh-so glad that McCall's et all stopped using the word "Chubbies" to describe their patterns for little girls who 'need' their "Pounds-Thinner" patterns. Oh, and by the way, while McCall's actually printed "Chubbie's" on the tab of the giant pattern book (June, 1972), there were a total of two such patterns available -- and no robes or anything. Fat and fashion-less may be one thing... But fat and naked is another. Tough-love, ey?
5) Mother, get the garbage can and some asbestos -- it's dinner time!
Both a time and a fuel saver, you say? The modern fireless cooker was featured in a 1948 Modern Woman's Magazine. Click it and you can follow the directions yourself. (Our lawyers remind us to remind you that we are only joking about that.)
6) Ooooh, beautiful answers to the fuel shortage! We can burn them!
7) Before L'Oréal had babes exclaiming, "Because I'm worth it!"...
Clairol said, "Girls, do it because he's worth it!" Huh. I wonder why they still don't use that pitch?
8) Does your watch tell you the year? Yeah, how about the year you got it? This Alf watch screams 1988 to me...
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
Yes, Virginia, that's really a bunny-rabbit in a refrigerator. No, it's not a curb-side fridge.
"Why is he in there?!" you ask? Why are you asking me -- do you think I put him in there? Well, if you must know (and who the hell doesn't?) the article reads:
Contented Bunny Demonstrates How Air-Conditioning Works In Modern Ice Refrigerator
A black and white bunny with big gentle eyes and a contented expression attracted more attention at the recent Chicago furniture show than did all the modern sofas and transparent plastic tables shown for the first time.
Sheesh, what bunny wouldn't be more interesting than sofas and plastic tables? Oh, but you see, this is 1943. Apparently plastic tables, transparent or no, are all the rage. But they still can't out-do a bunny in a fridge, you say?
Hey, wait... It's 1943, there's a war on... Is that bunny for eating?
The bunny, prominently featured as "the Contented Rabbit," inhabited the food compartment of a new Coolerator ICE Refrigerator and looked out at the passing throng from a window in its door.
Why shut an innocent live rabbit in in a refrigerator? Because the Contented Rabbit demonstrated to the public in this dramatic manner that there is a constantly-changing flow of pure, fresh, properly-conditioned air within the food compartment of an Ice Refrigerator. If this were not so, the rabbit could not live in the tightly closed food compartment. He would suffocate for lack of air.
Click the scan to read the rest.
From Modern Woman Magazine, "a magazine published by the ice industry", George M. Wessells, Publisher, Volume 12, Number 2, copyright, 1943.
Dan at 'a sampler of things' has a cute bunch of vintage greeting cards. The biggest difference I see in these from today's cards is today, cards are wither gushy with sentiment, or else they harbor innuendo or a mildly naughty joke. Back in the day, you could make jokes about beavers on a greeting card, and nobody snickered.
