Thursday, May 28, 2009

Dames & Dogs #4


Mysweetiepiepie says, "Each photo in this knitting book features a different dog. Sweaters and dogs, what more logical combination is there?"

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The Case Of The Pirate Fashion Photographer

I'm no Erle Stanley Gardner, or even one of the Brett Hallidays; but I'm pretty sure it was all the striped ties which caused male fashion photographer Marco to gauge his own eye out.


Via Flickr.

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If I Were A One Legged Pirate

If I Were A One Legged Pirate
by Mildred Plew Meigs

If I were a one-legged pirate
Ga-lumping around on a peg,
I'd flourish my pistol and fire it;
Then, sure as my right wooden leg,
I'd buy me a three-decker galleon
With cannon to port and to lee,
And wearing the king's medallion,
I'd head for a tropical sea!
Roaring a rough Ha-ha! Ha-ho!
Roving the routes of old,
Over the billows we would go
Sweeping the seas for gold!
Plying the lane
Of the Spanish Main
For Gold!
Gold!
Gold!

If I were a one-legged pirate
Ga-lumping around after loot,
I'd flourish my pistol and fire it;
Then, sure as my red leather boot,
I'd buy me a three decker galleon
With cannon to thunder a mile,
And bucking the sea like a stallion,
I'd head for a tropical Isle!
Roaring a rough Ha-ha! Ha-ho!
Chanting a chantey bold,
Over the billows we would blow,
Sweepint the seas for gold!
Plying the lane
Of the Spanish Main
For Gold!
Gold!
Gold!

But since I was not born a pirate
Ga-lumping around on a stick;
And since my toy gun when I fire it
Gives out but a little toy click;
Pretending my boat is a galleon,
My pond is a tropical sea,
I'll play I'm an old rapscallion,
But really I won't hurt a flea.
Roaring my small Ha-ha! Ha-ho!
Saying I'm someone bold,
Over the duck pond I will go
Roving the routes of old;
Plying the pond
And the stream beyond
For Gold!
Gold!
Gold!

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I Get The Raggedy Ann Wig, But...

What's up with those foam shoes?



Found at Flickr, Woman's Day magazine, July 1969.

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I Can't Hear You; Your Makeup Is Too Loud

A 1965 Max Factor ad for Hi-Fi makeup. (Cosmo, February, 1965)

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Doggie Lovers, Dare To Minaudiere?

With all the folks dressing their dogs and treating their pets like fashion accessories, I find myself often muttering, "It's a pet, not a fashion statement." So, if you have so much disposable income that you must throw it around, why not blow $4,875 on a Austrian crystal beaded Scottie Dog Minaudiere by Judith Leiber.



("Minaudiere" must be what the uber rich call a cute purse too small to hold anything.)

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Monday, May 18, 2009

Modern Woman Monday: Kate Smith

Find out why I'm celebrating Kate Smith -- and asking myself, as the Memorial Day weekend nears, if this is the America people defend & fight for... Seriously.

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Friday, May 15, 2009

Craft-Scan Friday: Make Amusing Table Favors From Fruits & Vegetables

Mrs. George C. Wagoner of Glendale, California, must have never been told by her momma not to play with her food; here she show how to make a tiny orchestra from hairpins, paper clips, modeling clay, and a basket of common fruits and vegetables. Talk about your anthropomorphic fruits and veggies!



Found inside this vintage issue of Modern Woman Magazine.

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Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Trouble With Trimbles...

Is that they cannot agree on how to spend their money:
The Trimbles, mother and son... His dreams are of a red convertible, hers of a new typewriter.


Photo of Mrs. Pearl Carter Trimble and her son Carter Trimble from an article on the "mother & son writer-photographer team" inside the march 1951 issue of Profitable Hobbies magazine, which we assume stopped making a profit decades ago.

Yes, I know there are unfortunate holes in the vintage paper; let's just be glad we can see what we can.

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Bettie Page Isn't Too Hot For Cold Beverages

If this Bettie Page Tumbler makes your glass sweat, don't worry; there are coasters too.

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Baby Got Back-Fat

A back cover illustration from The Philistine: A Periodical of Protest, published by Elbert Hubbard, titled (or captioned) "Removing his Pocket-book."



I'm too amused & enthralled to really research this one, kids... Besides, isn't it time you told me something?

The illustration dates to 1909; Vol. 30, December, No. 1, of The Philistine.

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Tattoo Error

Aw man -- don't you hate it when you go in for a tattoo and the inker screws things up? I mean, just look at this: the airplane is totally facing the wrong way:



Oh, I get it -- the actual tattoo is much cooler than that. The so-called "Inverted Jenny" is one of the most well-known of U.S. error stamps. I guess the guy couldn't get one of his own (they sell in the millions), so a tattoo would have to do. Philatelists are hardcore, you know.

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Thursday, May 7, 2009

Answers For Those Questions You Asked Your Erudite Friends

The answers to the Spring, 1930, Tatler Puzzle Page:

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