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Dames & Dogs #12

You're getting another Alice White edition of Dames & Dogs because Alice White apparently really, really liked dogs -- and I really, really like Alice White photos.

Dog Playing Bass

Maybe he should join the piggy playing violin, and start an animal string section.

Dames & Dogs #11

Piggy you rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard

The devil went to a thrift shop, he was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.
When he came across this old pig sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot.



Vintage red-eared pig figurine playing violin in thrift shop display case: $2.99
Opportunity to mash-up a Charlie Daniels classic: Priceless

We Always Knew Joan Crawford Had A Big Head

If you think Joan Crawford looks like a bobble head on this vintage trading card, check out the rest of the movie stars on the 1949 set of Turf Cigarette cards.


Vintage Mildred Pierce card found via The Golden Age Of Hollywood Ning Group.

Well, At Least The Cat's Eyes Are Closed

First they pierced the ear of this kitty, then they expect you stick dirty spoons to it.

Set The Table With Olga Baclanova. Literally.

Olga Baclanova as the centerpiece, 1929.

Feelin' Squirrelly

Another new vintage squirrel; this one's for my collection of ceramic animal figurines with fur.

Your Guess Is As Good As Ours

Sure, we could look the clipping up in Google translate, but why ruin the mystery?

Do You Go Bananas For Pettipants?

Novelty embroidery by the bunches with these vintage Van Raalte pettipants.

Thanks For The Reindeer Sweater

This sweater is proof that the dreaded holiday reindeer sweater has been with us for at least 70 or 80 years. (Long live retaliation via fruit cake!)

Ha Ha, Your Momma Took Penicillin

Searching for old letters to illustrate my article at Inherited Values (yes, I need another website to write at, thank-you-very-much), I found this gem of a blog, Matrilineal, by Linda (a jackass owner), who is transcribing 15 years of previously unread family letters. Sadly I did not find any scans of the old letters (I just love looking at them; it's almost as good as holding them), but when you find entires like this one dated December 6, 1954, you can forgive nearly anything:

I was so scared and horrified when I read that you had taken penicillin. No wonder the doctor tested your heart. Don't ever take it again. After taking it several times it reacts on the heart and often causes death in a few minutes. Don't let any doctor give you any more of it.

Getting The Christmas Tree

Looking for Christmas tree photos for other blog posts, I found these photos...

Brining home a Christmas tree on a Vespa reminds me of those motorscooter kids carrying home a 3-foot-tall bookcase during Cleanup Week.



Real men cut down a real tree: sawing down the National Community Christmas tree for the Christmas Pageant of Peace in Washington, D.C., 1959.

The Boob

Gertrude Olmstead THE BOOB vintage movie ad by Jakestuff
More Gertrude olmstead Posters

Hopalong Cassidy Remained Still

Well, at least the boy in the Hopalong Cassidy costume remained still long enough to be photographed.

Invite The Gang Over For An Old-Fashioned Automobile Party

From invitations and decorations, to party games and activities such as the recharging batteries game (in which women spoon-feed men an entire glass of water), a "Ford" stunt and Mason jar "Blow Out" game, The Social Hour section of the The Royal Neighbor (October, 1932) has you covered.

There's even menu ideas such as "Hot Gas" (hot chocolate) and "Extra Tires" (donuts) -- which surely will lead to the more popular spare tires about the midsection.

Pepe Le Pew Eeeiiwww

This isn't really Pepe Le Pew, but this vintage ceramic dish or ashtray (the edge is more scalloped than having cigarette divots) featuring a skunk made me go "Eeeiiwww" when I discovered someone had bothered to paint the underside of his tail yellow. Oddly charming to some, I suppose; but I didn't buy it. Handling it to take photos for you was all I was willing to do.

Posts Of Halloween Past

I've been busy this Halloween; here's a round-up of the Halloween posts I made this year:

1. Vintage Halloween party recipes, from this issue of The Royal Neighbor.

2. Halloween's a blast! Back when you could shoot children who annoyed you, anyway.

3. My review of the retro skeleton game based on Dark Shadows' vampire, Barnabas Collins.

4. My review of a gravedigger's memoirs.

5. Did you see the antique vampire killing kits up for auction?

Hank Didn't Mean To Give The Waitress The Finger

He was just no good with cameras.

Memo To Becky: Pray Or Get Off The Pot

When Becky got into the photobooth, she wasn't sure if it was a pretty potty or an unusual confessional. So she did both.

Halloween Nineteen-Ought-Seven: Tricks Bigger Than Treats

Straight out of the pages of The Fargo Forum and Daily Republican, November 2nd, 1907, the story of "Two Brothers Filled With Peas." (Click to enlarge the old news article, or scroll below it to read copied text.)

Farmer Beaton's Sons Treated To A Warm Reception By Irate Farmer On Hallowe'en Night -- A Double Barreled Shot Gun Did The Businss

Two Small boys, the sons of a farmer named Beaton, who lives just outside the west part of Fargo, were shot at by an irate farmer on Hallowe'en and as a result they came to Fargo yesterday and had about a handful of peas picked out of them by a physician.

The Boys had greatly annoyed a neighboring farmer last Hallowe'en, and this year he waited for them with a double-barreled shotgun loaded with peas. The boys approached his place and he let fly with both barrels, and his marksmanship was excellent.

In future Hallowe'ens these particular boys will probably remain a long ways from that particular farmer.

Ahhh, Halloween in 1907, when kids could be shot just for being annoying, good times...

Note that people don't shoot people, "double barreled shot guns do the business."

Modern Woman Monday: Frankie & Hannah Were Doomed

Though they loved each other deeply, neither one could completely give up the banana.

Piggy Bank Tales

I nearly bought this old kitschy piggy bank. It wasn't the padlock sans key that made me decline it (hubby has plenty of old keys -- and should his hundreds fail, my dad has thousands more); it was the fact that I'd already loaded my arms with books and spent my allowance. In hindsight, a locked piggy bank might have been more wise?

Who Said Brigitte Bardot Never Had A Cross Word?

Hefty Hefty Chalkware

Huge (easily 14, maybe even 18 inches, tall) vintage plaster or chalkware pieces I didn't add to my collection because they were $65 for the pair. I love the lady reading!

Vintage Yankton Cowboy

A vintage souvenir ceramic tile with a cowboy decal from Yankton, South Dakota; tile measures 6 by 4.5 inches.

Craft-Scan Friday: Should Coat-Hooks Be "Leafed" Alone?

My grandma totally had old plastic leaf coasters like these shown in this how-to from Popular Mechanics, June, 1957.

She'd Like To Have Her Hat & Eat It Too

Joan Bennett in The Wedding Present. I haven't seen the film, but I believe this is the scene were she tells the baker she's like her wedding cake to look just like her hat.



Or maybe it's the scene were she is unhappy with her wedding present, the hat. Like I said, I haven't seen the film.

Squeaky Peep Toe Hobo

Find out why my hobo is a wealthy bum

I Sheepishly Suggest A Tag Correction

To the seller of these vintage salt & pepper shakers, I say, "I think ewe are wrong; these are not deer but sheep." The wise owls in the background concur.

What Cool Looks Like

Muhammad Ali in black sunglasses; photo by Eddie Adams.

Look Like A Vintage Secretary

You could dress like Maureen O'Hara, or just carry a vintage movie star tablet.


I'm surprised any of these vintage writing tablets have survived... The "tops," with their celebrity images, maybe; but with paper? Amazing.

Read more about them at Things & Other Stuff, who also has some for salenow.

Make Shadow Puppets With Deaf-Mute People

The back cover of this vintage "manual" from the National Deaf-Mute Sales Co. reminds you to "Be the life of the party. Show it to your friends, etc." by learning how to make these shadow pictures.


While this may be fun, the inside section contains "facts about deaf-mutes" -- which warns you not to "let noise shorten your life." (I guess the National Deaf-Mute Sales Co. wouldn't exactly be sorry to learn of your hearing loss... but death would impact their sales.)

Here are startling new facts. The din in your life. Here is a list of the seven worst noise makers:

But if you were hoping for a list of vintage New Years noisemakers, the list is far less kitsch-nostalgic:

1. Traffic.
2. Trains, planes.
3. Radios, television sets.

(Thank heavens we can now avoid such dangerous modern entertainment and make shadow pictures!)

4. Whistles, bells.
5. Constructions.
6. Loud voices.
7. Barking dogs.

So don't let barking dogs shorten your life!


Below, the front cover of this vintage booklet:

If I Were A One Legged Pirate

If I Were A One Legged Pirate
by Mildred Plew Meigs

If I were a one-legged pirate
Ga-lumping around on a peg,
I'd flourish my pistol and fire it;
Then, sure as my right wooden leg,
I'd buy me a three-decker galleon
With cannon to port and to lee,
And wearing the king's medallion,
I'd head for a tropical sea!
Roaring a rough Ha-ha! Ha-ho!
Roving the routes of old,
Over the billows we would go
Sweeping the seas for gold!
Plying the lane
Of the Spanish Main
For Gold!
Gold!
Gold!

If I were a one-legged pirate
Ga-lumping around after loot,
I'd flourish my pistol and fire it;
Then, sure as my red leather boot,
I'd buy me a three decker galleon
With cannon to thunder a mile,
And bucking the sea like a stallion,
I'd head for a tropical Isle!
Roaring a rough Ha-ha! Ha-ho!
Chanting a chantey bold,
Over the billows we would blow,
Sweepint the seas for gold!
Plying the lane
Of the Spanish Main
For Gold!
Gold!
Gold!

But since I was not born a pirate
Ga-lumping around on a stick;
And since my toy gun when I fire it
Gives out but a little toy click;
Pretending my boat is a galleon,
My pond is a tropical sea,
I'll play I'm an old rapscallion,
But really I won't hurt a flea.
Roaring my small Ha-ha! Ha-ho!
Saying I'm someone bold,
Over the duck pond I will go
Roving the routes of old;
Plying the pond
And the stream beyond
For Gold!
Gold!
Gold!

Modern Woman Monday: Kate Smith

Find out why I'm celebrating Kate Smith -- and asking myself, as the Memorial Day weekend nears, if this is the America people defend & fight for... Seriously.

Craft-Scan Friday: Make Amusing Table Favors From Fruits & Vegetables

Mrs. George C. Wagoner of Glendale, California, must have never been told by her momma not to play with her food; here she show how to make a tiny orchestra from hairpins, paper clips, modeling clay, and a basket of common fruits and vegetables. Talk about your anthropomorphic fruits and veggies!



Found inside this vintage issue of Modern Woman Magazine.

Answers For Those Questions You Asked Your Erudite Friends

The answers to the Spring, 1930, Tatler Puzzle Page:

Looking For Vintage & Retro Fun?

I've started two new vintage carnivals: The History Is Ephemeral Carnival and The New Vintage Reviews Carnival. The premiere edition of New Vintage Reviews has been published here, and the first History Ephemeral carnival will be published within the next few days -- so keep looking!

Dames & Dogs #2

John Rawlings photograph from the April 15, 1945, Vogue; via A Tad Too Much Tan For Taupe.

The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee

The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee

Ho, for the Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee!
He was as wicked as wicked could be,
But oh, he was perfectly gorgeous to see!
The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

His conscience, of course, was as black as a bat,
But he had a floppety plume on his hat
And when he went walking it jiggled - like that!
The plume of the Pirate Dowdee.

His coat it was handsome and cut with a slash,
And often as ever he twirled his mustache
Deep down in the ocean the mermaids went splash,
Because of Don Durk of Dowdee.

Moreover, Dowdee had a purple tattoo,
And struck in his belt where he buckled it through
Were a dagger, a dirk, and a squizzamaroo,
For fierce was the Pirate Dowdee.

So feaful he was he would shoot at a puff,
And always at sea when the weather grew rough
He drank from a bottle and wrote on his cuff,
Did Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

Oh, he had a cutlass that swung at his thigh
And he had a parrot called Pepperkin Pye,
And a zigzaggy scar at the end of his eye
Had Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

He kept in a cavern, this buccaneer bold,
A curious chest that was covered with mould,
And all of his pockets were jingly with gold!
Oh jing! went the gold of Dowdee.

His consience, of course it was crook'd like a squash,
But both of his boots made a slickery slosh,
And he went throught the world with a wonderful swash,
Did Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

It's true he was wicked as wicked could be,
His sins they outnumbered a hundred and three,
But oh, he was perfectly gorgeous to see,
The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

From Enchanted Isles, Charles E. Merrill Books, 1954. Written by Mildred Plew Meigs, illustrated by Decie Merwin, via Flickr.

The Story Of Skippy

See The Story of Skippy and other vintage Big Little Books in this gallery.