Creepy Kid Vent Dummies!

Who knew that two Photoshopped shadows would cause my skin to crawl:

As if ventriloquist dummies weren't creepy enough as it is, these are regular children photoshopped to appear to be dolls with articulated mouths. Sure, she looks like a nice, non-homicidal doll now, but just wait until she's been played with by an average child for a couple years:

NOW if lightning or magic gives this doll a life of its own, you better run for the freakin' hills, because it will have no mercy on beings of flesh and bone.

Cross-Stitch Sistine Chapel

Michelangelo spent four years painting the Sistine Chapel, but the work of art below took its creator eight:

Yes, that's the Sistine Chapel, rendered lovingly in cross-stitch by obsessed crafter Joanna Lopianowski-Roberts (slideshow here). It measures 40" x 80", or around three feet by seven feet and depicts pretty much every nook and cranny of the Sistine ceiling, not just the famous parts. That is an awful lot of tiny Xes to make with needle and thread; she worked on it for about an hour a day for eight years - I'm sure if the pope told Michelangelo, "Hey, Mike, what do you think of needle and thread instead of paint?" he'd have passed on the job. Cross-stitch isn't for the faint-hearted, and anything larger than a pillow is for mad dogs and englishmen.

Instant Mustache!

I already have a mustache (a van dyke, to be accurate) that I've had for around 10 years now, but you never know when a mustache needs to appear completely without warning. First...Popstache:



Clip it on to your soda or water bottle, and with each sip you look a little more sophisticated than before. Make sure you keep it right side up, or else you might end up looking a bit strange; nobody has a handlebar goatee.

You might not be the one in need of mustaching, the solution of which is the mustache ring:



Give a mustache to anybody else, even if they already have a mustache. It's like the Green Lantern's power ring, but designed by Apple for simplicity and interactivity.

ring via, popstache via.

Funerals And Dead Squirrels

Cress Funeral Home in Madison, Wisconsin is home to something amazing - more amazing than dead old people waiting to be dressed. If you can make it past the caskets and grieving survivors, in the basement is a museum of taxidermy squirrels, partaking in human past-times, such as getting drunk:

It's always good to have something absurdly happy to occupy yourself with while waiting for the prayer service to start!

Via!

Craft-Scan Friday: "It's A Thrilling Fad Of The Month Selection!"

I just love truth in advertising! Admitting "the lovely Ballerina Boudoir Doll" was a fad was one giant step forward for humanity. But we went two steps back when we learned that so many would be seduced by the concept...



Ad from the February 1952 issue of The Workbasket; a magazine which was very fond of presenting advertorials as content.

Love To Twitter?

Why not show it with these sweet vintage tweets?



PS You can follow my tweets here.

Early Product Placement

An ad for ice in the official magazine of the ice industry, Modern Woman Magazine (1941, V10 n5), with very recognizable beverage bottles.

Make Shadow Puppets With Deaf-Mute People

The back cover of this vintage "manual" from the National Deaf-Mute Sales Co. reminds you to "Be the life of the party. Show it to your friends, etc." by learning how to make these shadow pictures.


While this may be fun, the inside section contains "facts about deaf-mutes" -- which warns you not to "let noise shorten your life." (I guess the National Deaf-Mute Sales Co. wouldn't exactly be sorry to learn of your hearing loss... but death would impact their sales.)

Here are startling new facts. The din in your life. Here is a list of the seven worst noise makers:

But if you were hoping for a list of vintage New Years noisemakers, the list is far less kitsch-nostalgic:

1. Traffic.
2. Trains, planes.
3. Radios, television sets.

(Thank heavens we can now avoid such dangerous modern entertainment and make shadow pictures!)

4. Whistles, bells.
5. Constructions.
6. Loud voices.
7. Barking dogs.

So don't let barking dogs shorten your life!


Below, the front cover of this vintage booklet:

Powder Puff Pussy

Since this is a set of three of retro pink kitties, shouldn't the tag read Powder Puff Pussies on the tag? Tsk tsk, Kreiss & Company. (Part of my "ceramic animals with fur" collection.)

Oh, To Sit at Gene Rayburn's Table

Gene Rayburn, beloved host of Match Game, at dinner with Fran Allison, Gene's wife Helen, and Burr Tillstrom. Since Fran & Burr are from Kukla, Fran & Ollie, dare we hope for dinner and a puppet show? Photo circa early 1950s.

Don't Poop Out

Nobody likes a quitter.


Fluidmaster ad found in the December 1977 issue of Workbench.

Dames & Dogs #5

Via Infomercantile.

I Want To See Evelyn Green Dolls

In that amazing, amusing and much loved vintage issue of Profitable Hobbies magazine, a brief article on dolls by Evelyn Green, who, in 1951, had already made nearly 200 dolls.

Her collection, one of the most valuable in the nation, includes fur-clad cave-dwellers, Gay Nineties models, and modern bobby-sox types, depicting the fashions of mankind from 18,000 B.C. to the present. Mrs. Green requires a week or two to make a small doll and two or three months to complete a large, elaborate model. She has spent fourteen years on her hobby.

There's scant information about Evelyn Green dolls online; even though the doll maker was featured in Doll Collector Magazine in what appears to be 2005 (presumably prompted by the Evelyn Green portrait dolls which were de-accessioned, via Theriaults, from the collections of the Strong Museum in 2004). I found no clearly labled photos of the dolls themselves. Pooh.

Evelyn Green dolls now appaer to sell for between $200 and $400 each.

Craft-Scan Friday: Before There Was The BeDazzler...

There was the Spanglette.



Ad found in the March 1951 issue of Profitable Hobbies.

17 "Don'ts" For Men (1890's Style)

From Old Stuff, May/June, 1975, a publication which proudly boasted "All paper in this copy of OLD STUFF is 100% recycled." Something which was almost equally true of the content printed on the paper, for all the stuff is indeed old articles etc. from antique publications -- save for the obligatory letters to the editor (called "Correspondence") and classified ad section (called "Collectors Market").

Today's selection from Old Stuff was previously published in an untitled 1899 newspaper. It's advice from an unnamed male "men's fashion consultant" who was concerned with customers "preserving the finer points of sartorial elegance."

Contest Alert

This month Antique Trader is giving away a copy of Price Guide to Holt-Howard Collectibles and Related Ceramicware of the 50s & 60s. You can enter here, once a day for the entire month of June.