Craft-Scan Friday: Should Coat-Hooks Be "Leafed" Alone?

My grandma totally had old plastic leaf coasters like these shown in this how-to from Popular Mechanics, June, 1957.

Craft-Scan Friday: Women Are Delighted By Shills

Err, Shillcraft -- women are delighted by Shillcraft.

Cross-Stitch Sistine Chapel

Michelangelo spent four years painting the Sistine Chapel, but the work of art below took its creator eight:

Yes, that's the Sistine Chapel, rendered lovingly in cross-stitch by obsessed crafter Joanna Lopianowski-Roberts (slideshow here). It measures 40" x 80", or around three feet by seven feet and depicts pretty much every nook and cranny of the Sistine ceiling, not just the famous parts. That is an awful lot of tiny Xes to make with needle and thread; she worked on it for about an hour a day for eight years - I'm sure if the pope told Michelangelo, "Hey, Mike, what do you think of needle and thread instead of paint?" he'd have passed on the job. Cross-stitch isn't for the faint-hearted, and anything larger than a pillow is for mad dogs and englishmen.

Craft-Scan Friday: "It's A Thrilling Fad Of The Month Selection!"

I just love truth in advertising! Admitting "the lovely Ballerina Boudoir Doll" was a fad was one giant step forward for humanity. But we went two steps back when we learned that so many would be seduced by the concept...



Ad from the February 1952 issue of The Workbasket; a magazine which was very fond of presenting advertorials as content.

Craft-Scan Friday: Before There Was The BeDazzler...

There was the Spanglette.



Ad found in the March 1951 issue of Profitable Hobbies.

Craft-Scan Friday: Make Amusing Table Favors From Fruits & Vegetables

Mrs. George C. Wagoner of Glendale, California, must have never been told by her momma not to play with her food; here she show how to make a tiny orchestra from hairpins, paper clips, modeling clay, and a basket of common fruits and vegetables. Talk about your anthropomorphic fruits and veggies!



Found inside this vintage issue of Modern Woman Magazine.

Clothespin Desk Organizer

The kids will be home for the holidays -- why not keep 'em busy? First with the laundry, then making this clothespin letter holder.



Also in that first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).

Craft-Scan Friday: Twin Martian Dolls

From McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring/Summer 1971, instructions for making these twin Martian dolls. I'm in lurve with the see-thru plastic dress on the female Martian.

Dad Says He Tired Of Ties As Gifts?

Well, you can always make him kitschy place to put them.




Instructions and pattern from a vintage set of Coping Saw Carpentry For Boys & Girls cards. You can find nicer patterns and craft project instructions at my other blog, Things Your Grandmother Knew too.

Out Of Macaroni?

Paint & glue odd metal bits instead.



From McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring/Summer 1971.

You Know What Sucks?

Not Mia's first attempt at "narrative embroidery":



Which makes me think my first attempt to narrate via needlework would also be be a hand -- only with one finger raised, as a political statement. Make of that what you will.

Dimple Dot Kleenex Box Cover Kit

I never knew they had an official name.


Seeing this ad reminds me of when I was young, someone gave this to my folks as a gift -- :eek: -- and our dog used to bark at like she was rabid (the dog, not the Dimple Doll). My folks would put it away, and then every now and then bring it out to see if the dog still hated it; she did. Eventually, the dog got a hold of it and destroyed it.

Whenever I see them at sales, I want to buy them and set them all in a row on a shelf -- maybe even fill and entire book shelf with them, in all the colors and variations.

I did get one once, but sent it to my sister; one part memory, one part freak factor (she hates dolls so opening a box with a doll head, well, that would be super freaky). But no affordable ones since.

Feel free to send me some, if you don't want them.

Craft-Scan Friday: Get Yer Space-Age Santas Here

Remember the 60's and how they promised us a future of hover cars and jet-pack travel? Well, some of us do, anyway. The rest of you can put down your Tommee Tippee cups and see why the rest of us all believed so hard.

See, our moms were busy creating space-age Christmases. Just like Ethel Peterson who had covered the face of her clock (now at a thrift shop near you) with a half-circle of gold-flocked cardboard. "Stars, pasted onto the blue crepe paper, give 'sky' effect."



Pretty potent stuff, merging forever, the idea of travel, space, and free gifts.

Here Santa rides a rocket -- which they call a "jet" ("cut from linoleum rolls and covered with shelf paper, then painted"). Not only better than that, a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn.



What the heck can be better than typing "a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn"? Seeing it. I can't wait to make hundreds for next year's holiday craft fair.

Craft-Scan Fridays: Accident On The Stairs

When I think of fun with the kids, restraining their arms, reducing their ability to see, and encouraging them to run around the house in nothing but slippery-footed leotards is exactly what I want...followed up by a fun and exciting family trip to the emergency room.



These 'decorated paper bag costumes' could have arm-holes, but only for aesthetic reasons by 'creating animal creature with holes at sides so that arms can extend in hornlike fashion' [all sic] Sorry, Billy, horns ruin the lines of your monster's face -- you can stumble around without arms for a while.

No, those aren't the tiniest children ever (although doing this to a 18-month-old using a grocer's sack would make for excellent YouTube) -- the article recommends getting giant paper bags from your dry cleaners...despite the safety-free designs, McCall's magazine had the foresight to warn not to use a plastic bag. Apparently their in-house testing didn't go so well.

Craft-Scan Friday: Binding Your Workbaskets

Perhaps this is why vintage Workbasket issues are so difficult to find -- they've all been sewn together.



Vintage magazine binding advice which will work for modern mags too -- should you wish to make future collectors weep.

Craft-Scan Friday: Instructions For Vintage Cloth Doll, Jenny

From a 1964 Workbasket magazine, instructions for Jenny, a cloth doll. Don't say I never gave you nuthin'.

Craft-Scan Friday: Vintage One Evening Wood Projects

From a 1953 Deltagram, two projects you can make in one evening.



I love the shelf; but I believe that's not only because I own kitschy knick-knacks, but because of the kitschy knick-knacks shown in the photo.

The elephant ring toss is cute, so cute it "will amuse the older folks as well as the children." The suggested rings to toss are fruit jar rings, so while Mom may be a bit perturbed to find she's short a few rings at canning time (and who's mom isn't?) at least the walls won't be marked.

Craft-Scan Friday: Who's Crocheting?

The caption on this page is: Who's Home Crocheting?
DEAR GOD NO -- It's Norman Bates' mother! Don't go near her -- she's a wrinkly old dead corpse! Sure, the hotel room was cheap, but a skinny crazy guy will hack up you in the shower! *Phew* It's only a hot Swiss miss with red hair. That smell of a decaying corpse, that was her puppy. It needs some shots and that'll clear right up. As for the chick: she's wearing shorts and flip-flops, but in the first photo she has an antimacassar to keep her shoulders warm. I almost think she was trying to deceive us, and obscure her babe-a-liciousness! Why would she do such a thing?

To sell Dawn Yarns from American Thread -- "For Uncommon Ideas," is their motto, as it is apparently uncommon to find hot chicks knitting their own clothes. Crocheting is an old lady craft? Who would think such a thing! Well, I suppose I gotta agree with them at that point. From time to time, the AP does a story on kids knitting, but it's far less prevalent in hot redheads as it is in grandmoms. (see also, from a few weeks ago)

Craft-Scan Friday: Pomponitis

This poor soul has come down with the deadly disease pomponitis, in which unsightly -- but pleasantly fluffy -- growths protrude from the head in unpleasant ways. Not particularly painful for the sufferer, unless they also happen to be a cat-owner, in which case secondary injuries may be sustained while sleeping. As the patient's illness progresses, the pompons eventually fall off and blow away like tumbleweeds, infecting any they touch. No cure is known, although cats tend to catch the tumbling pompons and extinguish them before they can infect others.

This, in fact, illustrates an advertisment for Brunswick yarns -- Brunswick Worsted Mills, Inc is still around (sadly, without a website), and their instructional booklets abound online. The photo of the woman with pompoms all over her face is not explained in the ad at all -- the only text consists of a catalog of booklet prices. Why would a woman have fluffy yarn balls attached to her head? Only her doctor knows for sure.

Craft-Scan Friday: Retro Woolite Ad

Who's Home Crocheting?

Yeah, you and American Thread wish.

"Sunshine days
Minutes to spare
A time to create
Anything."

I wish.

Craft-Scan Friday: "Gay paper trimmings for a children's holiday party"

The retro holiday magazine says this crepe paper, cardboard and ribbon concoction is for children's holiday parties; I say they could have easily made this a Santa theme rather than clowns -- but then I'll find any reason to change a clown into Santa (or any other non-clown character).

The only thing more frightening than a clown, is a clown with a square head -- and four faces. But maybe you never really liked little Johnny that much anyway...



We remind the brave, and the insane who wish to create the gay paper party trimmings, to click on the images to see larger scans with directions. We also caution the same to think before they create -- did we mention clowns are scary?

Craft-Scan Friday: Mod Record Holder

Sure to make your teen scream, this wild 45 holder is as chic-kitsch as it gets.

Bold velveteen animal print and rickrack? Two tacky things that go great together! All topped off with a dime store fashion doll -- like the cherry on this sweet sundae for your eyes. (We don't advise licking fashion dolls.) And the records inside? They are like the scoops of vanilla -- nearly ignored with all those dizzying toppings.

(This is so grand, I think I need to make kitchen canisters like this. Flour, sugar and tea never had it so good.)

Craft-Scan Friday: Squeaky Clean Bear

From this vintage Blenback Oil Cloth Do It Yourself decorating booklet, comes this pattern for making Benny the Bear.



I realize wipe-able bears may make practical sense; but in the crinkle vs. cuddle debate, I'm most decidedly on the side of cuddle.

But apparently, these were once the rage. And there were even more modern versions.

You can find more oilcloth projects here.

Oh, Back When The Airplane Was The Aeroplane & More Magical Than Sleigh Rides!

From the How Many Days Till Christmas, a calendar to make for kids, inside Today's Woman Christmas Ideas magazine (1962), comes this diddy, sung to the tune of Jingle Bells:

Flying through the air,
In a private aeroplane
O'er the world we go,
High above the rain!
Wings on airplane zoom
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
A flying song tonight!

Zoom and whirr! Zoom and whirr!
The sky's an open lane!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a zooming aeroplane!
Zoom and whirr! Zoom and whirr!
The sky's an open lane.
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a zooming aeroplane!

Friday, Dec. 7
Eighteen Days To Christmas

Hey, in 1962, December 7th was also on a Friday!

Children of the Atomic Age

This week's Craft-Scan Friday is the bedroom of the kids of a 1950s rocket scientist -- no Beatles or football or Vietnam here. We're looking to the skies and the future!

The english-mangling caption reads:

In-orbit room for boy has atomic motifs on bedspread, rug with radiant northern lights, sleek tables. String circle, the pillows symbolize sun, moon, and earth. Plane, balloon, show the progress of flight. Setting is by Irma Bolley.

Irma Bolley, it appears, affected a generation with her string art, so it's no surprise she reproduced, as funky string art, something Dave Bowman saw in his descent into spaciness. While she did her best to interpret what a sky-obsessed kid would like, it's obviously what a kid would get if his grandma designed his bedroom using a handful of random space terms pulled from a hat. It even goes so far as to assume some important facts. For example, from the diorama, we can assume that kids who idolize astronauts drink Coca-Cola, eat uncut raw tomatoes, and snack on Shake-n-Bake pork chops. They enjoy the letter M, globes, chess, and Montgolfier. They will appreciate the opportunity to tell their friends that their afghan is decorated with an atomic diagram of beryllium. A truly geeky kid can understand the planetary symbolism depicted on the pillows, and will snort loudly while mocking less-nerdy kids who don't get it. Personally, I think the shag rug might actually be rather enjoyable, lying on my stomach with my nose an inch from that 12" black-and-white TV, even though the 'northern lights' symbolism is invisible even to my tolerant eye.

The amount of media in the room is a nice forward-looking touch, though. Not only is the space-faring child a TV watcher, they're a radio-listener and a record-player-player. Bolley also took the time to make rudimentally-accurate wooden model of the X-15, complete with external fuel tanks, to hang in the room. I admit, without a note on another page I probably wouldn't have recognized it as a real plane, but in comparison they did an adequate job of representing it. The abacus on the wall is nicely geeky, but it was probably as foreign to a kid of the 60s as a slide rule is to a kid today; although, I'd wager that once this kid reached his teenage years, having a counting/adding machine mounted above his couch-cum-bed would lead to knowing looks and innuendo. Having that, his friends might even overlook the creepy string art.

(source: McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Fall-Winter 1968-69)

Susy (Is) Wong

From a 1962 Today's Woman Christmas Ideas magazine (page 142) comes this Susy Wong Doll pattern:



'Cuz nothin' says, "Merry Christmas, female children!" like your very own handmade brothel doll.

The World of Suzie Wong, by Richard Mason, was published in 1957 and the Paramount film (starring William Holden & Nancy Kwan) was released in 1960. (My copy of the book, shown here, is a 1960 paperback printing whoring the movie.)


Hard to even imagine that Fawcett Publications could be ignorant to the connection...

Going from Suzie to Susy won't make a Wong right.

Craft-Scan Friday: Talk To The Zombies

This week's Craft-Scan Friday looks innocent, but that's what they want you to think.


A young lady keeps her squirrel-chow in a frog's-head macrame bag. What's so wrong with that? Of course she's going to be wandering the woods like a sweater-wearing Snow White, singing to lure woodland creatures close enough to taste her wares. Not so:

This, it turns out, is a formerly-deceased squirrel. Now, I've seen my share of deceased squirrels, and none climbed trees. No, this formerly-deceased squirrel is now un-deceased, his paws bent and battered, his ears crushed from years in his crypt, his backbone bent in an uncomfortable pose -- now a minion of the walking dead, stalking the forests in search of tasty, tasty squirrel brains.

There IS the possibility that's the food in the girl's hand is zombie- squirrel- chow, spooned from the finest squirrel's skulls. This would make the girl their friend, not foe: Snow Sweater, Friend of the Zombies; her soleful tune (the only lyric: "brains") causes zombie critters to line up behind her, following her to a hazily-lit clearing where they'll sway to the music and await their handful of cerebral matter. It'd be cute, if it wasn't so terribly, terribly unholy.

In reality, I'm sure the photo was taken on a fall day, taxidermied squirrel wired to the tree, with this phrase repeated over and over "act like you're feeding the squirrel, honey, hold the nuts by its mouth, a little lower, you're feeding him, honey, pretend you're feeding him..." They theory was, of course, that a girl talking to a dead squirrel would sell latchhook kits of owls in love and needlepoint ladybug sunglasses cases (yes, that's what the tiny thing at the bottom is), because, hey, if it looks like we know what a real animal looks like, our cartoony animals will be more valuable. "Buy our latchhook, I've seen a squirrel!"

When it comes to dead things, however, times were different in the 1970s. Dead bodies were often used as marketing materials. This put numerous zombies out of work, no doubt, who almost certainly echoed the sentiment of the string-art mouse pictured on the right-side of the image:

Unfair indeed.

Craft-Scan Friday: Got Your Ears On, Good Buddy?

Don't let its resemblance to a CB radio fool you -- this is NOT an actual radio, nor is it a CB radio cozy (as the wifey first assumed). This is an imposter CB radio straight out of the 1970s, when knitters turned to the citizen-band world by storm, filling the airwaves with their purls of wisdom.



This plastic-canvas needlepoint project, probably intended towards kids and their interests, is actually a "handy catch-all" box. So, as Grandma browsed this month's copy of McCall's Needlework and Crafts, she'd run across this ad and have an epiphany: "Billy loves CB radio -- this kit is the perfect birthday gift!" Billy's eyes will widen upon tearing away the giftwrap, and all other toys -- the Stretch Armstrongs, the Creepy Crawlers -- will be tossed aside in preference of the fabric-and-plastic faux CB radio. Well, mostly because he knows mom will never look for his pot inside the CB radio. It's the perfect cover!

Knitting Corners must've sold a brazillian of these, because they're still around -- no website to speak of, but they're listed as a knitting source in Ohio...at the same address, no less! We're tempted to order one, not because we need a place to hide our pot, but because we're tired of the static we get on our CB radio. According to this ad, the perfect solution to squelching static is to remove the radio altogether. How handy!

Plush Plant Faux-liage

The year was 1977, the magazine Better Homes And Gardens. And because we were too busy working to find the time to water the plants, we'd be better off making plush, as in stuffed, plants.



The examples here were made of corduroy. Which means when you'd dust them, you'd get that 'woosh-woosh' sound. And dust them you must because they are going to be pet hair magnets. But of course, if you can't keep a plant alive I don't suppose you have any pets... Don't worry, there are patterns for stuffed animals in lots of places.