New Year? Not-So-Much

Can't you just hear him saying something like, "Gee, honey, I'd love to help; but you know how clumsy I am in the kitchen... You'd probably be happier if you just took care of this by yourself."



1960 New Years illustration via Flickr.

Playing Doctor: Scrubs & Beyond

I was reading Slip's post about how fashionable scrubs are now and it got me thinking... Maybe scrubs are the new aprons.

But more than that, I'm thinking hubby needs some scrubs. I'm tired of him ruining all his jeans and shirts with all this projects -- not to mention when we do Science In The Kitchen stuff with the kids. The Landau scrubs lab coats would be especially cool for that. (He always has reminded me of Beaker the Muppet. ...And then we could play doctor. They're only $20. Such thrills!)



Come to think of it, I wish they made scrubs in kids sizes. Science In The Kitchen gets messy sometimes.

Practicality of scrubs aside, I'm loving the kitschy fun of scrubs. There's the NASCAR scrubs, a ladybug print, cheeky monkeys, candy corn printed scrubs...



And yup, Betty Boop.



Get yer Cherokee scrub pants, Landau medical scrubs, at Scrubs & Beyond.

Modern Woman Monday: Wippette -- Wippette Real Good

A kitschy retro store display.



Via eBay.

Hires Root Beer Package, 1890

Make five gallons of beer for just a quarter -- and it's medicinal!



Ad in the December, 1890 issue of Peterson's Magazine.

Hoop-Dee-Doo, Time To Tie One On!

Vintage necktie advertising Kay Starr's version of the swing tune Hoop Dee Doo on Capitol records; via eBay.

Annual Family Tradition

After eating a big holiday meal, it was customary for the men to go into the kitchen to cut the cheese. No one knew why Sara always went along.



Maybe it's cheese; maybe it's not (you can find out at Flickr). But then the food isn't really the issue now, is it.

Why Christmas Tights Are Important For Little Girls

This looks so much like my sister -- OK, and not just as a child (she wears pants now Christmas Eve for a reason!) I wish it was a photo of her, because then we'd have had an Andy Gibb microphone!

Via Flickr

Honey, I Shrunk The Santa

Via Flickr

Trade Your Spaceship For Christmas Lights?

That's what I said.

This Is How The World's Greatest Entertainer Gets Into His Car

It's 1973, What's Rick Springfield Doin'?

Wishin' he had Jessie's girl -- and growin' out his mullet.



Via Flickr.

Skin Cancer For Christmas? You Shouldn't Have!

A holiday ad from 1967 for the GE Tanity Case -- a vanity case, but with everything for a tan: sunlamp, holder, eye shields & sun cream.

Garters On Maids Are Sexy

Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye in White Christmas.

Have Yourself A Retro Little Christmas

Images of All-Electric House interior decorated for the exhibit "A Very 50s Christmas", photographs taken in December of 1999 for use in promotional items -- via JoCoHistory.

Giant Thinks Jack A Killer-Diller

A 1936 Dentyne gum ad.

Clothespin Desk Organizer

The kids will be home for the holidays -- why not keep 'em busy? First with the laundry, then making this clothespin letter holder.



Also in that first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).

Old Christmas Tree Lot

Christmas tree lot at Jennings Lawn & Garden in Overland Park, Kansas, 1955.

Now I Know Why They're Called Go-Go Boots

Enstrom In Stereo

The picture is Grace, by Eric Enstrom, set side-by-side at a thrift shop. It almost looks like if you were to cross your eyes and look at them it'd be 3D like some stereoscope:


Dude, that's trippy. I think I even saw the sailboat.

Reminds Me Of Sarah Palin

I totally remember kitschy retro bathroom decor -- and being embarrassed by it whenever some friend's mom had put 'potty people' on display in her bathroom. Mainly it was wall plaques of folks taking baths, little boys with bums sticking out of drop-bottom pjs, and lots of things with toilet paper themes. I did not find them cute, but wildly inappropriate. I remember on more than occasion pondering just how badly I had to pee -- and was it worth going into that bathroom with the 'potty people'.

I still cringe and say Eeeeiiwwww. Which is why when I spotted a pair of such wall plaques at the thrift store, I did not buy them.



I was both brave enough & amused enough to take photos of the girl applying lipstick to the family dog tho. (Even if she has exposed her bare bottom.) For some reason both the little girl applying lipstick to her dog -- and wildly inappropriate bathroom decor -- remind me of Sarah Palin.

Long Hair Saucer Chair

Discovered at WalMart last night (and apparently sold out this morning; I called to get more info to find a link for you -- how dedicated am I?!), the Long Hair Saucerchair. I bet it's more fun to say than to sit in. In truth, I just keep saying long-hair-saucer-chair over and over again -- but have no desire to sit in it.



This was the closest I could find to the chair. They make them for pets too, of course -- it would be cool to train a dog to take to his chair at the command of "Long Hair Saucer Chair."

The Boys Refused To Do Their Homework

For some reason, they refused to do book reports on Old Yeller.



Via Flickr

The Forecast For Santa's Lap: Wet With A Chance Of Tinkertoys

Johnny clearly remembered how wet Santa's lap was the year before.



Via Flickr

Paper Crowns For Jesus

More paper birthday hats for baby Jesus; these apparently worn in public, at a restaurant.



Via Flickr.

It's Easy To See Which Snowman Wears The Pants In The Family

Via Flickr.

Flower Over-Power

Ticky-tacky paper flowers cheerfully scare away goth girls and other nightmares. Or maybe they cause nightmares. I know Fire Marshal Bill would see this as literal over-kill, what with paper flowers being so flammable.



In any case, if you really need instructions for it let me know. But it's cutting paper, people; not rocket surgery -- so I may mock you when sending the info.

Also in that first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).

Of Music, Technology & Kids Today :sigh:

The new Jensen JiMS 525i may be a great iPod dockable HD Radio, but as technology leaps ever forward, I can't help but feel old nostalgic. Sure, I use the Internet (far too much, according to some), but I can't help but feel that kids today are missing out. Take music, for example.

So many makers of today's music machines, like the new Jensen JiMS 525i, are selling themselves on the the benefit of iTunes Tagging. "How many times have you heard a song on the radio you’d really like to hear again?" they say. "Wouldn't it be great if you could tag that song and buy it?"

Everyone knows that one of the many joys of music, along with the often related ear worm song, is the nagging annoyance of 'knowing' a song, but being unable to name it or who recorded it.

Honestly. It's a thrill.

There's a satisfaction in ending the auditory blackout -- remembering the name -- right as you walk into the record shop, before you have to ask some clerk and show your ignorance in public. And I love waking up at 3 A.M., sitting straight up in bed and uttering, "Power Station!" before passing out again with a sigh. Maybe I'll remember that in the morning; maybe not. But for now, I got it, damnit.

This deficit on the part of the general population to recall the song's title and artist even when listening to it forces you to listen to the radio announcers (even today on those new music stations), just to hear them identify the song. You beat your fist on the dashboard in frustration when they didn't -- and rhythmically on the steering wheel as you repeated the title/artist mantra out loud when they did (yes, all the way to the record shop). If you were home alone on a Saturday night, you could even call into the radio station and ask... The final nail on your loser coffin. This alone made DJs vital to your life.

But, again, sometimes you couldn't count on the DJ for help. You just wandered, frustrated and annoyed until you found one of those rare and annoying but necessary walking encyclopedias of musical knowledge -- those who can who can hear, process & recall such info (along with band, album name, and concert date at CBGB's). We need these geeks of music. And they know it. Hence their egos.

Now the chips on the shoulders of those who do not recall as well have been replaced by some computer chip.

Sure, it's cleaner, easier, and costs your pride less to hold up a device and get the answer than it is to humbly ask your local music knowledge god. But the computer chip has no great stories.

It won't regale you with tales of rock concerts.

Or of staying home one night after being dumped and polishing off a six-pack of Zimas solo while listening to November Rain over and over again until you could get pissed enough (emotionally & alcohol-wise) to angrily sing-scream along with I Used To Love Her.

(Axel Rose sure knew how to musically score a love life -- or so I'm told. I never did that, of course. It's just an example... From my, uh, friend's life.)

Sooner or later we all have the thrill of playing music knowledge god too. Eventually a friend doesn't know the latest release by the hottest new artist -- but you do. And then you get to express your superiority & snark as you reply, "How do you not know of The The?!" followed by a "sheesh!" or a sigh and the mandatory eyeball roll.

Without these mental musical blanks in the minds of your friends, how would you ever get that opening to tell the story of why you'll never-ever forget the Pet Shop Boys' or West End Girls -- because that song sooo reminds you of the night you were sooo drunk you woke up in the dorm's girls' bathroom, staring at the "janitor's" shoes. (He said he was the janitor, but what janitor wears patent leather shoes to his job?)

How else will we be able to share these stories?

Oh yeah... Blogs.

But then, it's not quite the same as being asked -- and I have no idea if you're even listening.

Modern Woman Monday: A Margaret Sanger Rhyme

Found in the February 22, 1941 issue of Liberty, a bemusing note sent in from a reader regarding Margaret Sanger:

Retro Love Is... Panties

Love Is... Needing One Another.

Huh. That's funny, I thought love was kneading one another... Oh wait, that's lust. I'm always mixing those two up.


Via eBay.

Advice On Collecting Snow Globes

Freya collects snow globes and has this list of tips for collectors which I just love:

1) the trashier the better
2) glass is pretentious - go plastic whenever you can
3) like stamps, flaws can be awesome - if you see a Swiss Alps snow dome with no snow in it, grab it!
and 4) always leave the price tag on.

Buying A Christmas Tree?

Make sure it's taller than your bouffant.



Via Flickr.

High-Five Friday - Thanks & Christmas Kitsch

1 & 2 Thanks to both Boing Boing and Jezebel for linking to the pixie pajama bag!

3 Hey, did you know I was interviewed over at Marty's ephemera blog? Thanks to Marty, you can now get deeper inside my twisted little mind. (You know you want to!)

4 Shawnee at Kinsanity has a cool campy Christmas series called The Holidays Are For...

5 Friday Night Lists has posted a Top 10 Bits of Christmas Kitsch.

Want to give high-fives too? Sure you do!

Christmas Dey Curls

As in Christmas curls worn by Susan Dey.

Craft-Scan Friday: Twin Martian Dolls

From McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring/Summer 1971, instructions for making these twin Martian dolls. I'm in lurve with the see-thru plastic dress on the female Martian.

Make A Mammy (& Pappy) Racist Utensil Rack

Go ahead, I double-dog dare you.



As a white girl, I don't think I should even own these instructions and pattern from a vintage set of Coping Saw Carpentry For Boys & Girls cards... As I've said, Black Americana isn't something I feel good about collecting myself.

Whoopie, if you're reading this, I'll gladly send this to you for your collection. Free, of course.

Because I'm A Sucker For These Mod Space-Age Head Fashions...

I say "head things" or "head fashions" because you can' just call this sculpted silver jersey helmet a hat.



Via Hiro Fashion Photographs 1966 at Couture Allure.

"The Potato Babies, And How They Grew"

A story of grandma entertaining the kids with people and animals made from potatoes...





From The Maple Leaf Book Of Stories.

Used Hankies In Your Hair

Kitschy Kitschy Coo presents... The Hanky Bonnet: The ultimate in icky fashion recycling.



I don't care how much it's laundered, turning your bridal hankie into a christening bonnet for your baby is just asking for a bad case of cradle crap cap.

Inside McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring 1978 issue.

Christmas Decorating Tip

Your drapes should not be louder than your tree.



Via Flickr.

"I Never Thought I’d See So Much Purity Of Pattern"

A pervy come-on of a sales-pitch from a ladies' clothing salesman:

I never thought I’d see so much purity of pattern. Absolute rightness. I must please you, and I think I can. Don’t fail me now, because I may never trust myself with a woman again, ever. Try it on. I’m sure, absolutely, I can please you. Show me. Wait for me.

From 1965's The Knack... And How To Get It reviewed here at Here's Looking Like You, Kid.

Into The 60s With Air BP

Another ad from inside 1961 BEA "About Your Flight" Booklet.

7 Maids A-Milking -- To Music

Ad for Bag Balm found in the February 1943 issue of Farm Journal and Farmer's Wife magazine.

The Sunshine Family Doll Christmas

Or maybe it was John Denver who kidnapped mom & baby Sunshine back in December of 1975?


Family photo via Flickr

Like Birthday Hats For Jesus

Homemade Santa hats, circa 1960s.



Via Flickr.

Underarm Duck Tuck

A completely unnatural taxidermy.



Via Flickr.

Santa Gets Juiced

Technically, this is a vintage Santa reamer -- would you have preferred that I said Santa was reamed?



Via Jazze Junque.

Women's Magazine History

Ladies, women's magazines say you are incomplete. Well, are you?



(Yup, that's another one of my blogs -- Pink Populace Paparazzi Parade Exposé is group blog.)

Trouble Keeping Your Hose Up?

Start pulling at the neck.


1921 ad for Wilson Garters, found in The Modern Priscilla magazine.

Battle For The Soul Of Christmas

There's a war on between my evil soap people & the vintage felt Christmas elves, as noted in my CQ article.

As A Rule...

Your walls should be bare when the family is wearing this many patterns.



Via Flickr.

Pixies: Guardians Of PJs

A cute elf sits on the cover of the first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).





Turns out he is not an elf, but rather both a pixie and a pajama bag. Click the images to get the patterns & instructions (I tired to color correct the pattern page, but that's the best I could get it). If you make any pixie pj bags, I'd love to see 'em!




I put the skirt instructions for crocheting the long red hostess here -- I'd love to see those if you make them too.

Girls Who Do Needlework Are Heterosexual

And they're proud of it too.


Boye Needle Company proclaimed "Girls Like Boye's" and proffered a tee-shirt which read "Every Girl needs a Boye" on the back cover of McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring 1978 issue.

Thinking I just might be willing to kill for one of those shirts, I did a search at eBay for Every Girl needs a Boye -- and finding just one (irrelevant) result, do you know what eBay suggested I might have meant?

Did you mean... every girl needs a bone ?

Now that's funny. And redundant.

Head Games

Phrenology trinket boy available from AirportRoad at Etsy.

7 Years Of Constipation

By then I think you'd be dead.



Ad found in 1936, True Confessions.

Dad Says He Tired Of Ties As Gifts?

Well, you can always make him kitschy place to put them.




Instructions and pattern from a vintage set of Coping Saw Carpentry For Boys & Girls cards. You can find nicer patterns and craft project instructions at my other blog, Things Your Grandmother Knew too.

You Still Have A Chance To Get Into The Movies

Well, Hold-Bobs did offer you the chance to get a free screen test in Universal Pictures "Search For Talent Movie Truck" back in 1936. It's not their fault if you weren't born yet. Or maybe your parents just warned you about talent searches in the back of trucks... Mine sure did.

Utterly Knitable

Running out of Christmas gift ideas? Don't have a cow -- knit a cow!

Retro Alfa Romeo Ad

French ad in 1961 Maxim's Booklet

Everything's Better When It's Kitsch On A Ritz

Retro ad for Ritz Crackers from the June 1968 issue of Family Circle via Flickr.

Warning: Your Male Bosom Is Bunchy

That's news from The American Shirt Front -- at the informal dance, anyway. You can avoid this and other shirt mishaps this holiday season by wearing Arrow Shirts. At least the 1941 variety, as this ad was found in that year's Liberty magazine.

Giving Peace The Finger

An ironic finger placement for a dove ring.

Vinyl Kraftwerks

Hopefully you won't be melting any actual Kraftwerk vinyl (it's worth quite a bit more than this), but find yourself a Sing Along With Mitch and make yourself something pretty. I'm sure my daughter, who walks along the edge of Gothness in her fashion, wants to make some of these:



Making strips out of vinyl, bending them into a bracelet, and adding baubles is so very 1980s, ultra-retro. When we were messing around with melting records this summer, cutting them briefly crossed my mind, but apparently it's easier and more useful than I thought. But a paper-cutter? Ingenious! Metafilter has a bunch of other projects, quite a few more things than just bowls.

No More Happy Families

Found via Kinsanity, this art collage by Mira Rudio.

Kitty's Candy Dish

This vintage made in Japan dish reminds me of a pie with a cat in it... Like maybe kitty went in after the 4-and-twenty black birds. That would be more of a candy dish for kitties.

1921 Doll Lamp

Ad for the "Cute Lite" found in the April 1921 issue of The Modern Priscilla.

Hey, Sailor Grrl, Today Only: Free Shipping At Zazzle

Sailor Grrl by kindnessofstrangers
Make a custom notecard On www.Zazzle.com
See other Party Music Entertainment Cards

The fine print: To qualify for this free shipping offer, one or more Zazzle products must be purchased. The coupon code CYBERZSHIP08 must be entered during checkout to receive the offer. Shipping offer is for standard (or basic if standard is not available) shipping to U.S. addresses only. Shipping charges will apply to orders being shipped on an expedited basis or outside the U.S. Offer is valid from December 1, 2008 through December 1, 2008 at 11:59 pm (PST). Your order must be placed during that time to qualify for this special offer. This promotional offer may not be combined with any other Zazzle promotional or discount offers.

Anne Frank's Not The Only Thing Hiding In The Attic

This gal found this Polaroid of her family in the attic. We're pretty sure she means the photo was found in the attic; but then again...

Eyelashes Like Fork Tines

Maybe it's Maybelline.



In January 1936, True Confessions.