Craft-Scan Friday: Get Yer Space-Age Santas Here

Remember the 60's and how they promised us a future of hover cars and jet-pack travel? Well, some of us do, anyway. The rest of you can put down your Tommee Tippee cups and see why the rest of us all believed so hard.

See, our moms were busy creating space-age Christmases. Just like Ethel Peterson who had covered the face of her clock (now at a thrift shop near you) with a half-circle of gold-flocked cardboard. "Stars, pasted onto the blue crepe paper, give 'sky' effect."



Pretty potent stuff, merging forever, the idea of travel, space, and free gifts.

Here Santa rides a rocket -- which they call a "jet" ("cut from linoleum rolls and covered with shelf paper, then painted"). Not only better than that, a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn.



What the heck can be better than typing "a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn"? Seeing it. I can't wait to make hundreds for next year's holiday craft fair.

Have A Coolie Christmas

All you thought you had to worry about was your neighbor with the black lawn jockey...

Included in the Pacific Palisades Holiday Tour was this exotic outdoor decoration that blends East and West. Set on an outdoor patio, the antique rickshaw carries a Santa Claus figure and a collection of brightly wrapped Christmas gifts.

The coolie figure was made of papier mache with an Oriental mask face under his collie hat. This holiday display decorates the home of Mr. and Mrs. James Kalasardo of Pacific Palisades.

Found in the 1959, Better Homes & Gardens' Christmas Ideas.

1959 Disneyland Candle Shop

From the 1959 Better Homes & Gardens' Christmas Ideas magazine comes this photo of Disneyland's candle shop.

Mrs. Robert Beals, and her daughter Jani, find the choice of candles fantastic and a difficult decision to make. Which one shall it be?

Well, of course it's difficult to pick just one -- even if you are allowed to be known by your own name and not as your husband's property.

I never just pick one candle. Hence I am not only a huge boon the hostess of the home candle party, but have been put on candle buying prohibition; I'm not allowed to by any more candles.

Hubby thinks having a cabinet designated just for candles is silly. This, even after he's seen my sister has an entire pantry just for candles -- which should prove that I'm really deprived, not depraved, as he believes.

In Lieu Of Cards, Send Art

Why send a card, when you could send art? Why send it as a paper gift, when they are suitable for framing?



By Jellygnite at Etsy.

Gregory's 60s Bachelor Pad

Gregory has a swingin' bachelor's pad -- not just one room, but the entire rambler is decked out in vintage housewares:

It's 2008, But Not For Everyone

Remember Brendan Fraser in Blast From the Past?

Well, Brian aka Ted Valentino (who is nearly as cute at Brendan) has completely decorated his home to look as if his home had been preserved for since the 1950's in a bomb shelter.

Before I show you, I must mention that I found Brian/Ted's site via Planet Fabulon -- Thom, consider yourself Kitsch-Slapped. You too, Brian/Ted. (And feel free to grab the Kitsch-Slapped icon from the sidebar.)

OK, now just look at the retro kitschy goodness!

Craft-Scan Friday: Vintage One Evening Wood Projects

From a 1953 Deltagram, two projects you can make in one evening.



I love the shelf; but I believe that's not only because I own kitschy knick-knacks, but because of the kitschy knick-knacks shown in the photo.

The elephant ring toss is cute, so cute it "will amuse the older folks as well as the children." The suggested rings to toss are fruit jar rings, so while Mom may be a bit perturbed to find she's short a few rings at canning time (and who's mom isn't?) at least the walls won't be marked.

Magazine Mental Illness

Most collectors will admit they are more than a little mad... But it takes a special kind of crazy to collect old magazines.

First there's the sadness as you grab box after box of vintage and retro crafting, how-to, and do-it-yourself magazines at an estate sale or auction... All the unfinished work speaks of lives that weren't finished.

And then there's the general craziness of what's inside the pages. Who said these were good ideas? And when it comes to women's magazines there's the perpetual, "Who bought this crap -- bought into this crap?"

One cannot help but mull the sanity & happiness, insanity & unhappines, of the former magazine owners... Today, I do so with 13 examples of mockable magazine scans.

(And yes, whenever I mock the previous owners of these magazines I am reminded of what others will think of all these boxes of magazines that I'll leave behind. I said it's a special kind of crazy.)



1) Via this 1971 Pack-o-Fun, "The Only Scrap-Craft Magazine", I am reminded why I don't recommend putting your children in scouting. Or elderly folks into those crafting classes at the old folks' home. Little's much sadder than instructing people to make dolls out of garbage -- unless it's dangerous dolls made of plastic dry cleaner bags, stuffed with facial tissue, and drawn on with markers.

While they admonish giving these dolls to babies who will put things in their mouths, they also say that "these cuddly little dolls will become favorites of the toddler set." Toxic teethers, poisonous pacifiers; a garbage doll by any other name is just fine as long as your child is mature enough, by 2, to know better. (No mention that suffocation by plastic dolls or marker fumes may cause retardation, rendering your smart toddler as dumb as a baby.)

2) Foiled again. From the same magazine, this is eggs-actly what you think it is: egg cartons covered with tin foil, used as a lighting fixture.

What? You're waiting for me to add something? The idea should be enough -- plus, you've got the groovy photo.

3) Home Kinks magazine isn't what you think it is. Or maybe it is; maybe you're not as twisted as I am. Or maybe you are just as twisted, but you just knew this was a Popular Mechanics publication (1947).


The cover boasts of a frying pan shield on page 18. I didn't scan it, but to end your suspense, I'll confirm that it's precisely what it looks like: a cake cover cut-out to allow access to the contents of the frying pan.

4) On page 9 we all learn how to make a Dutch Boy cutout to hold a kitchen broom. I'm not going to mock this; I long for the good old days when copying corporate logos for home use was de rigeur.



5) On page 94 we have (further) proof of my mental illness. Something has been cut out -- presumably the order form for the 102 time saving, money saving, money making, helpful, inexpensive easy to use... guides, as selected by the blue X's. But that's not good enough.

This magazine is incomplete; therefore I am incomplete.

6) The October 1975 issue of Women's Circle Homeworker "shows you the way to home money making." (I have to admit I read the title as 'homewrecker', but maybe that's because I just know a lady making extra 'pin money' isn't the sort of girl dear old dad can stay married to.)


The cover proclaims, "Women Paperhangers Earn $5 Per Hour". I guess that was startling in 1975 -- but not for the reasons you think.

7) As the story continues on page 31, the headline, "Women paperhangers are still around", tells us that in 1975 paperhanging was considered to be on the outs with the modern home working woman. I guess wallpaper hanging was that 'oldest profession' folks refer to.



I'd also like to note that in 1975, the was a shortage of pithy, pun-ny writers or else there should have been a pun about women paperhangers still hanging around.

8) At the end of the article, Edna Shimp, wallpaper professional gal, recommends, "If you are contemplating decorating, think wallpaper." Surprise, Edna shills!

9) Super double bonus points for a women's lib mag calling women 'gals'.

10) And tack on an extra 100 points for the corner call for 'junior achievers', women "below the age of 20". Sheesh.

11) In the January, 1964 issue of The Workbasket, there's an ad for Yum Yum perfume.

When you are asked say Yum Yum!

Our new perfume is so delightful that we just had to name it YUM YUM. The fragrance lasts and is very subtle. Its exquisite tones are remembered fondly.

When you are asked, say "Yum Yum!" OK, so picture it... Your meet a swell feller, and whatever he asks, you reply, "Yum Yum," as directed. Later on the feller asks his buddies, "What was the name of that retarded girl... I am fond of her smell."

12) On the opposite page, we are asked to choose between "this or this" with the choices being to have, or not to have, bunions.



Naturally, all we can reply is, "Yum Yum!"

13) Below that ad, an ad for a job to work at home doing invisible mending.

In many communities invisible menders are scarce: service is expensive -- often unavailable. Can you learn to do this fascinating, profitable work?

"Yum Yum!" is our instinctive reply. (Oh, yes; it sucks to have the ads near the Yum Yum Parfums-Degas ad.)

But then again, perhaps we are just high on the subtle but exquisite smell of our $1 bottle of perfume and so we think maybe, must maybe, we are able to learn such fascinating, profitable work... Or is that the smell of our marker colored suffocation doll? $240 a month buys a lot of $1 per bottle, postpaid, perfume. (We reckon about 180 of 'em.)


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Thirteen Kitschy Christmas Crafty Things

Thirteen Kitschy Christmas Crafty Things Taken from a 1965 Christmas craft publication, these are mostly made with things you have in your home -- so get busy this weekend! Ooooooh, make Santas? Learn decoupage? From instructions on a record? Why a monkey could do it! ...A monkey who understands English, anyway. Now I want to decoupage a monkey. The next few prove that retro 60's persons loved the tinfoil... A tinfoil angel centerpiece: A flaming tinfoil wreath: Tinfoil snowman: And my personal favorite, tinfoil kitty-cat cookie holders -- they're not just for Christmas anymore. Make festive holiday chandeliers out of coat hangers and cone-shaped paper cups. No mention of light, but I guess I'm expecting too much from paper cups and hangers. Or, you could go for something more dreamy & use all your clear glassware, filled with colored water, to make this castle. I don't know that a castle is particularly "Christmas-y" but the 1965 holiday magazine has it in there... Moving on. A good hostess wears pretty holiday petti-skirts: Use your flatware to make a lovely decorative, um... er, serving tray? I guess your guests won't mind a fork that's been taped to a McDonald's tray... Then again, the house was likely set on fire by these candle holders made of paper. Don't forget to stand at the door and hand out these gifts you've made for your guests who run from the fire... Like this flamboyant hairspray can: As the line says, "For the person who has everything..." I know I'd enjoy holding a wet faux fur handle as I brush my teeth... And glitter in your teeth? Makes your guests want to say, "Oh no, you shouldn't have!" But then they notice the guy next to you is getting a well-dressed pet rock: Merry Kitsch-mas!

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Decorate A Stranger

Via "The Original", Decorate A Stranger.

Children of the Atomic Age

This week's Craft-Scan Friday is the bedroom of the kids of a 1950s rocket scientist -- no Beatles or football or Vietnam here. We're looking to the skies and the future!

The english-mangling caption reads:

In-orbit room for boy has atomic motifs on bedspread, rug with radiant northern lights, sleek tables. String circle, the pillows symbolize sun, moon, and earth. Plane, balloon, show the progress of flight. Setting is by Irma Bolley.

Irma Bolley, it appears, affected a generation with her string art, so it's no surprise she reproduced, as funky string art, something Dave Bowman saw in his descent into spaciness. While she did her best to interpret what a sky-obsessed kid would like, it's obviously what a kid would get if his grandma designed his bedroom using a handful of random space terms pulled from a hat. It even goes so far as to assume some important facts. For example, from the diorama, we can assume that kids who idolize astronauts drink Coca-Cola, eat uncut raw tomatoes, and snack on Shake-n-Bake pork chops. They enjoy the letter M, globes, chess, and Montgolfier. They will appreciate the opportunity to tell their friends that their afghan is decorated with an atomic diagram of beryllium. A truly geeky kid can understand the planetary symbolism depicted on the pillows, and will snort loudly while mocking less-nerdy kids who don't get it. Personally, I think the shag rug might actually be rather enjoyable, lying on my stomach with my nose an inch from that 12" black-and-white TV, even though the 'northern lights' symbolism is invisible even to my tolerant eye.

The amount of media in the room is a nice forward-looking touch, though. Not only is the space-faring child a TV watcher, they're a radio-listener and a record-player-player. Bolley also took the time to make rudimentally-accurate wooden model of the X-15, complete with external fuel tanks, to hang in the room. I admit, without a note on another page I probably wouldn't have recognized it as a real plane, but in comparison they did an adequate job of representing it. The abacus on the wall is nicely geeky, but it was probably as foreign to a kid of the 60s as a slide rule is to a kid today; although, I'd wager that once this kid reached his teenage years, having a counting/adding machine mounted above his couch-cum-bed would lead to knowing looks and innuendo. Having that, his friends might even overlook the creepy string art.

(source: McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Fall-Winter 1968-69)