Modern Woman Mondays: Arm Yourself Against Those Pesky Little Moths!

Article by Louise Price Bell, from a vintage issue of Modern Woman (circa 1945; I didn't put the scan in a proper folder, so I don't remember which issue).

Modern Woman Monday: Frankie & Hannah Were Doomed

Though they loved each other deeply, neither one could completely give up the banana.

Modern Woman Monday: Women "Over 40" Wanted

I'm not sure what's up with the "over 40" in quotes business... But I guess the overall intent of this ad is to remind women that though they be barren & undesirable they are not useless; old sad-sacks can create gay floral arrangements for much prettier persons & for parties they are too poor to throw themselves.

Modern Woman Monday: Kate Smith

Find out why I'm celebrating Kate Smith -- and asking myself, as the Memorial Day weekend nears, if this is the America people defend & fight for... Seriously.

Modern Woman Monday: Wippette -- Wippette Real Good

A kitschy retro store display.



Via eBay.

Modern Woman Monday: A Margaret Sanger Rhyme

Found in the February 22, 1941 issue of Liberty, a bemusing note sent in from a reader regarding Margaret Sanger:

Eyelashes Like Fork Tines

Maybe it's Maybelline.



In January 1936, True Confessions.

Like Hover Cars For Kitchens

In 1945, foot pedals were the fantasy future of kitchens.

FOOT PEDALS will operate many of the labor-saving devices which will be ours in the kitchen of tomorrow. Here the housewife prepares vegetables in the future kitchen, while her little daughter has opened a bin which tilts to throw the vegetables forward. By operating the foot pedals for water in the sink, the housewife has her hands free. The splash board back of the sink is self illuminating when raised, and lowers flush with the working bench at right to form a buffet bar.

From What's Cooking For Tomorrow's Kitchens, by Joseph Lawren, in Modern Woman, Vol 14, No 5, 1945' photograph from Libby-Owens-Ford's "Kitchen of Tomorrow".

Sucaryl On This

Slenderella, packed by Richmond-Chase Company, featured Sucaryl® -- "the magic sweetener that doesn't add one single calorie". The cutie-patootie in the ad exclaims, "...so finally I tried slenderella low-calorie foods... and look what happened to itty-bitty me!"



I look slimmer when I wear my tablecloths too, bitch.

But seriously... Sucaryl ® is Cyclamate, and was banned in the US for cancer. Which sort of begs the question about just what would be the cause of any weight loss.

If you can stand more strange factoids about Sucaryl®, check this info from Wikipedia:

Like many artificial sweeteners, the sweetness of cyclamate was discovered by accident. Michael Sveda was working in the lab on the synthesis of anti-fever medication. He put his cigarette down on the lab bench and when he put it back in his mouth he discovered the sweet taste of cyclamate.

Just how do lab rats manage to survive at all?

Ad found in The Dakota Farmer, "Dakota's Own Magazine", April 18, 1959.

Rosie The Riveter, More Than A Hill Of Beans

At the museum conference last week, I had a chance to meet the Famous Be'an Collectibles. Yes, I hugged the beanie version of Rosie the Riveter. But the saleslady made me give her back.

Modern Woman Monday: What's In Your Fridge?

Just one of the many quirky, unique items available at the Kindness Of Strangers shop, a group in which I am just one of the quirky, unique artists -- but I didn't make this one; Slip of a Girl did. (People always think she's so sweet. She is, but she's also got her twisty side.)

If you don't see the works with art nudes, create an account at Zazzle, go to 'account settings', and set 'the maturity level' to R.

Modern Woman Monday: Bra Retardation Is Real People; The Figures Don't Lie

Oprah says eight out of 10 women are wearing the wrong size bra today. Well, 50 years ago, 47 out of 100 women didn't wear the right fitting bra either.


I don't quite know how to do the math... that's 50+ years to add another 37 percent points, times two breasts -- carry the nipple... At this rate, we're gonna have to carry our nipples.

The bottom line is, ladies, we're not getting older & wiser; we're getting older & saggier.

See another Formfit ad, likely from the 40's, boasting the same sad figures to boost lagging sales along with sagging boobs.

Modern Woman Monday: Consumption Information Gives Me The Vapors

From pages 96 & 97 in Pathfinder Physiology No. 3, Hygienic Physiology, by Joel Dorman Steele, PhD., 1888.


First an illustration of the "deformity" of tight lacing of corsets (which I've already disputed -- NWS), then this gem on "consumption":

Consumption is a disease which destroys the substance of the lungs. Like other lung difficulties, it is caused by a want of pure air, a liberal supply of which is the best treatment that can be prescribed for it.*

...* If I were seriously ill of consumption, I would live outdoors day and night, except in rainy weather or midwinter; then I would sleep in an unplastered log house. Physic has no nutriment, gaspings for air can not cure you, monkey capers in a gymnasium can not cure you, stimulants can not cure you. What consumptives want is pure air, not physic, plenty of meat and plenty of bread, -- Dr. Marshall Hall.

I've always heard consumption and the vapers were catch-alls for undiagnosed illnesses, like cancer, and/or diseases in the minds of fragile women. But in case I am wrong, anyone tried monkey capers for their consumption?

Remember When From 1959

Because I've been digging through & scanning old issues of The Saturday Evening Post, be prepared for a number of scans from them. Up now, Remember When? Pictures With A Past.


Text reads:

Recognize the smiling lad at right? Frank Sinatra was just one of a New Jersey quartet, the Hoboken Four, when he got his start on the amateur hour of Major Bowes (center) in 1936. From radio Frank turned to singing for the Harry James and Tommy Dorsey bands, then to films. He proved he could act as well as sing. Now past his forty-first birthday, he's still going strong.

Calvert Gostle

Text reads:

Here is a grim idea aborning: That planes could attack as well as scout. These Army officers fired a Lewis machine gun from the air in 1912. I made this photo before the take-off. The tests, at 500 rounds a minute, succeeded. The plance did not shake apart. Even so, early World War I air battles were fought with revolvers.

C. J. Mac Cartee

Text reads:

This stirring scene points a moral, as did almost everything in 1921. It was: Women can master the motorcar. Left, how to caress a radiator cap and get shocked by the ignition. Right. a familiar scene of the day--how to inflate a pneumatic tiree and patch a punctured tube. This was habit-forming.

Ezra Quincy

Modern Woman Mondays: Still Not A Suzy Homemaker

I'll admit I've been more than a bit smitten with Suzy Homemaker ever since I found out she wasn't just some phrase my mom made up; so when I spotted the oven at a trip to the thrift shop this weekend, I was very tempted.


The $39.99 price tag removed the possibility.

But still, I am going to have to get one so that one of these days I can fire it up and see how it compares to the Easy-Bake Oven. For science, you know.

Modern Woman Monday: Get Myself A Girl Like You

An old promotional invitation for the After Easter Ball, arranged by the White Lily Socials, at the Bahn Frei Turn Hall, Sat. Eve., April 13, 1912.


Printed on the back, is the following cheeky and charming song:

I've Got to Go and Get Myself a Girl Like You

Little Miss Muffet sat down on a tuffet, whatever a tuffet may be,
When young Sammy Snyder sat down right beside her and spoke unto her soothingly;
Be quite alarmless, for I am quite harmless,
But I saw you were human like me,
So I thought I might sit and look at you a bit,
And this is the answer, said he,
The more of you I see
The more my heart tells me:

REFRAIN:

I've got to go and get myself a girl like you,
That's some job to do,
For they come feew, but believe me,
If I can't find one just like you,
I don't care who you belong to,
I'll come right back again,
Right straight back again and steal you.

Little Miss Muffet stood up on her tuffet, and said, Vas is los mit your head,
You're feverish, mercy, run right home to nursie and tell her to put you to bed;
Where can you find sir, a girl of my kind, sir,
If your optics could "op" you would see,
That while boys will be boys and while girls will be girls,
There is only one me, and that's me.
Said he, I guess that's so
But still I guess I'll go.

Modern Woman Monday: More Vintage Cookbooks

Serving Up Vintage Recipes: Collecting Cook Books, by Val Ubell.

The Anti-Modern Woman Monday Post

In 1931 "M.C." sent a letter to the editor of The New York Times, 'respectfully' suggesting that "the militant suffrage movement, now on the rampage in England, be referred to as 'The Reign of Error'."


Via Silent Porn Star (NWS).

Modern Woman Monday: 1000 Ways To Make Yourself Beautiful

This book jacket proclaiming, "A Thousand Ways to Make Yourself Beautiful!" is from the 1940 Hollywood Glamour Cook Book, by Mariposa.

This book will disclose to you the Beauty Secrets of the Movie Stars. You, too, can be "most divinely fair," as irresistible as your favorite Glamour Queen. Imagine the thrill of hearing someone say about you, "Isn't she Glamorous, isn't she lovely!"

You can find out more about my obsession with Mariposa in my article at Collectors' Quest. (And I welcome any knowledge you have about her!)

Modern Woman Monday: No, You Can't Be An FBI Agent

Today's Modern Woman Monday comes from that November 1957 issue Good Housekeeping, which begins:

Although no woman can be an actual "FBI Special Agent," there are some 5,000 of them doing the bulk of the technical and clerical work that helps catch criminals: searching indexes, preparing laboratory reports, and reviewing files.

How -- sucky.

Click the pic to read a larger scan of Jobs for Women in the FBI.

Modern Woman Monday: Accessories

Accessories are important to the modern woman. Shoes & a matching purse, gloves...


And a spare head.

Just in case modern life should cause you to lose yours.

From the As She Was Flickr Group.

When You Want To Reach The Kids, Use Shakespeare

Teens of Our Times was a regular bit in Good Housekeeping by Helene Wright. This one, titled Love, Life and Lipstick, was from the November 1957 issue and features inspiration on positive attitude and perseverance via Shakespearean bemoaning.

Thoughts for Midnight

"Ah. sweet Romeo -- if I'd only been born beautiful! Then I'd try out for the school play. But with those long raven locks and wit violet eyes I don't have, why bother? They probably wouldn't even cast me as Juliet's old nurse!"

"I'll bet you have to be one of the tooth-and-nail gang to get on the Student Council -- sort of a high school Lady Macbeth. I don't know why I ever waste time dreaming about it..."

Sure, Helene was Wright right with her "Lecture at High Noon", but what kid was really going to read that?

At least the illustration seems to capture the mopey teen response.

While this Teens of Our Times was illustrated by Jack Potter, others were done by Frances Hook. "Who the heck was Hook?" you say? Find out what you can in this post at Today's Inspiration.

Socking It To Martha & Other Household Tipsters

From the "Martha Stewart's got nothing new files", comes this page of Household Ideas: Prize Hints for the Homemaker (Modern Woman Magazine, Volume 14, Issue 5, 1945).



Yeah, I know a person could fill up a blog with these 'recycled' tips. And maybe I will. (It all starts with just one page -- mocking is so like potato chips.)

My favorites here are:

Children's pajamas are almost impossible to buy -- especially with the feet attached. As a substitute sew a pair of socks, two sizes larger than the child wears, to the legs of the pajamas.

I wasn't around at the end (or any part of) WWII, so I can't vouch for that time, the jammies or the kids, but I have a few ideas on the rarity of jammies with feet. I think there's a reason for that which has nothing to do with the war -- kids hate 'em.

I had to cut the feet off all such pj's or my kids wouldn't wear them. Visit any local rummage sale, yard sale, or thrift shop and you'll see that my kids are not the only kids who feel such vile disgust of the footie part of footie pajamas.

Wash out children's socks daily instead of letting them pile up in the clothes hamper. Imbedded perspiration and sand tend to deteriorate the fibers, and should not be left in for any length of time.

This phenomenon, otherwise known as 'crunchy socks', doesn't only affect children. I know there was a shortage of men on the home front, but Mr Too-Old-To-Fight & Mr Gimpy had socks which were so afflicted too. And let's be honest, working women's socks aren't any better. I don't know about Ms Lounge-About-Eating-BonBons' hose, but stinky feet knows no age, no gender. Did any one really not know to wash the stinky things? Did they not know why hampers stink? And didn't they face the 'darn' truth when mending socks?

(Get the pun? Or must I explain the process of darning socks?)

Of course, if you cleaned socks by pounding them on rocks, your socks were doomed anyway. Even if sewn onto pjs.

Broken glass on the kitchen sink or floor can be readily picked up by wiping with a wad of fresh bread rolled into a ball.

Hence poor families who counted themselves lucky to have day old bread had broken glass strewn about the joint. Oiy the sock damages!

Vintage Modern Woman Magazine Misses Target Market

From volume 19, issue 5, of Modern Woman Magazine (1950), I'm not sure this comic has been published for maximum effect with the demographic is served...


Mocking a woman who is quick to race for her nylons, yet slow in traffic, is better suited for a men's mag. Even better, modify it to show a man eager to chase a golf ball about, yet too tired to do anything at home.

The Vintage Modern Woman: Celeb Baby Edition

Today my column at Collectors' Quest is on vintage women's publications, and so, surrounded by stacks of vintage magazines proclaiming to solve the problems of modern women, I've become obsessed... I can't bury them all again. I won't bury them all again. And so I bring you Modern Woman Mondays.


Today's bit is from Modern Woman Magazine, "a magazine published by the ice industry", George M. Wessells, Publisher. This specific issue is Volume 16, Number 1, copyright, 1947; Carolyn Hunter, Editor, and J. Russell Calvert, Associate.

We turn your attention to pages 10 - 11, Star Babies, by Modena Kyle:

Once upon a time -- not too many years ago -- it was not considered good publicity for a motion picture star to be called mother or dad. If a glamour gal or guy delighted in the patter of little feet around the home, it was never noised abroad.

But parenthood is nowadays deemed an asset to a star's box office appeal -- which is one indication that the general public has achieved healthier moral values.

Most of the famous men and women in Hollywood are as eager for children, when they marry, as any other normal people. In fact, there are few of the leading women stars who do not play the role of mother in real life.

We have gathered pictures of many well-known parents and their children. The faces of these parents are famous, but the look of pride and love is the same as in any other family pictures.

(Left column) Below, the top picture shows baby Teresa and Mother Virginia O'Brien, dead-pan singer who was featured in "The Harvey Girls." The lower picture is Judy Garland and her tiny daughter Liza.

(Right column) In the top picture, Gloria De Haven and John Payne beam over daughter Kathleen. Bottom picture, Richard Quine and his wife Susan Peters get a big smile from their son Timothy, who seems to enjoy his view of happy people.

Photos (click to enlarge!), with descriptions, from the second page:

Allan Ladd, above, who starred in "The Blue Dahlia," gets a hug and kiss from daughter Alana. Her mother is former screen actress Sue Carol.

William Bendix, husky comic, gives baby Stephanie her dinner. Below is Mexican star Ricardo Montalban with his wife and daughter Laura.

Blonde Lana Turner explains the science of hobby-horse riding to her brunette daughter Cheryl. Lana really likes her role as mother.

Above, Judith Ann, daughter of Brian Donlevy, looks very serious about having her picture taken. Below is Patrick Knowles at home with his family.

Van Heflin, above, can play any type of character assigned to him, but none can equal his enjoyment in that of "Dad" to daughter Vana.

Above Jane Wyman's record player fascinates son Michael and daughter Maureen. Below, James Craig tackles the inevitable problem of dry didies.

Update: Just found info on cover models buried on page 14. "Our cover shows lovely Ann Southern with her tiny daughter Patricia Ann -- nicknamed "Tisha" by Ann and husband Robert Sterling."