Teen-Age Know-How From 1946

From my collection of etiquette books, a few pages from Your Manners Are Showing, by Betty Betz (1946).

First, how to be a proper street walker, for him and her.




Don't tell naughty jokes!



I'm not sure if this last one is to say that eating while walking in public is rude (who hasn't eaten an ice cream cone thus?) -- or is a warning to ladies to satisfy her man at home...


Charmed? I'm sure; but find your own copy on eBay.

Fame Was In The Stars For J.K. Rowling; She Knew, Because She Put It There

Sotheby's is to auction off three personal horoscope charts prepared by author J.K. Rowling which contain "unpublished illustrations and writing dating from when j.k. rowling was writing harry potter and the philosopher's stone, and a wonderful insight into the creative mind behind harry potter." (Sotheby's, I think that's Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone; but hey, I'm too poor to bid, so what do I know.)



From the auction listing:

The third horoscope is of their young son, born on the cusp of Aquarius and Pisces. He will enjoy school, perhaps be accident-prone, (like all Pisces) could be prone to alcoholism, and (perhaps like us all) may well fall in love with someone totally incompatible. The chart apparently suggests that the boy will have great literary talent ("...the planet of fantasy and imagination meets a sign frequently associated with bookishness...") Rowling wonders whether his "ability to weave a good yarn" could perhaps bring fame and fortune, before deciding that becoming a film director would better suit his talents. Apparently wishing for some small slice of fame for herself, J.K. Rowling wonders if the boy would perhaps at least mention her in his Oscar acceptance speech ("...This peculiar woman my mother knows predicted I would be standing before you today ... of course, my parents laughed at the time...")

To be auctioned off at Sotheby's in London on July 17.

When Ephemera Leaves Bruises

No, I'm not speaking of the bruises along my arms from carrying all those heavy boxes of paper but of the foxing which can occur, leaving marks on the people on the pages. Like on this Arthur Crouch pinup from this 1941 cover of Collier's.


Looks like that tomato's got a bruised arm.

Dangerous Dames Selected By Mike Shayne

Hand-picked, we imagine.



via.

Crumb On Your Shirt? Boy Howdy!

Robert Crumb designed this symbol of Creem magazine. Now you can put it on your bod.

Bedtime with Blackout and Jocko

I go to sleep.
Blackout and Jocko go to sleep with me.

If you removed just a few words, it would tell a very different story.

From a vintage children's book; via Flickr.

When You Want To Reach The Kids, Use Shakespeare

Teens of Our Times was a regular bit in Good Housekeeping by Helene Wright. This one, titled Love, Life and Lipstick, was from the November 1957 issue and features inspiration on positive attitude and perseverance via Shakespearean bemoaning.

Thoughts for Midnight

"Ah. sweet Romeo -- if I'd only been born beautiful! Then I'd try out for the school play. But with those long raven locks and wit violet eyes I don't have, why bother? They probably wouldn't even cast me as Juliet's old nurse!"

"I'll bet you have to be one of the tooth-and-nail gang to get on the Student Council -- sort of a high school Lady Macbeth. I don't know why I ever waste time dreaming about it..."

Sure, Helene was Wright right with her "Lecture at High Noon", but what kid was really going to read that?

At least the illustration seems to capture the mopey teen response.

While this Teens of Our Times was illustrated by Jack Potter, others were done by Frances Hook. "Who the heck was Hook?" you say? Find out what you can in this post at Today's Inspiration.

Thirteen More Bits 0 Paper Scans

Because I have boxes & boxes (and boxes) of ephemera & greeting cards (old paper) -- and because it's Thursday Thirteen...

13 More Scans Of Old Paper

The first three are vintage illustrations cut out of some publication or another. Two of the three had the poems on the back, and suggest a primer or other children's book. It could have been for really slow adults too -- I know I like them. But then, I am drawn to lovely old drawings and sing-song-y rhyme-y poems (and easily amused).

"A Fairy Went A-Marketing"





"The Snow-Fort"




Trades



OK, enough of the cute stuff.

When you get boxes of old greeting cards, most of them are Christmas cards. Some Most of them are 'retro' and annoying, not cool. So you have to kiss a lot of toads. This one struck me for its inefficiency.

The cover isn't very festive, with it's "Statement At Christmas" tome; and seeing the red mittened hand of Santa doesn't really help.



Inside we find a bland message, which, upon seeing it is a corporate card, makes more sense. No, it's no more festive; but we can forgive companies for not knowing how to be fun. What I cannot forgive is the stupid company name & 'signature'. Just "4 - 0 Cleaners"? How memorable.



If the commercial corporate card was boring, this next one is a hoot. Clearly the art work was created by hand and then printed in some quantity or other. "Merry Christmas Happy '56" from the king and queen -- of cards. You know, the playing kind of cards -- see the suits? Maybe this was specially made for their couples canasta league -- or bridge group. Could be poker. Who knows.



The kicker is the inside quote, written by hand. Which is sort of ironic...

No longer able to write a verse
Even the coloring gets worse
But we're glad we're still able to say
'Have a Joyous Christmas Day"

Oh, Jane and Ray, you're such cards! You ought to be dealt with.



I know I said I was done with the cute stuff and that you're going to see this cute vintage elephant card and yell at me. But hold on there, missy. This isn't just a cute elephant card; this is a vintage 'Secret Pal' elephant card -- complete with a printed 'X' for the mystery signature. I know if I was a Republication, I'd keep it a secret.



Oh yeah, I can hear the Republicans getting their knickers in a knot -- and the cute lovers are up in arms for mocking an innocent baby elephant. Want to get back at me? Write a pithy (spelled p-i-t-h-y, not p-i-s-s-y) comment. Maybe I'll give you an award. Maybe I'll just stalk you on the Internet and send you this card...

Now that you're all keen on cards & graphics you might be inspired to create some art. Valentine's Day is only a week away, and you've got nothing better to do this weekend anyway.

Here we have some Valentine card creation advice, straight from that 1971 Pack-o-Fun, "The Only Scrap-Craft Magazine". Yup, you know when it's from Pack-o-Fun, it will be crap-scraft-actular.

First, the boys get to make "Zany Valentines". 'Zany' in this case means corn-ball kitsch cards with found objects of the more masculine metal variety: hardware. (Must. Resist. All. Puns.) My personal favorite is the "I know it's TACK-less -- But I have to say I love you!" 'Cuz there it is with a tack, so how can it be tack-less?



Please note, if you opt to create variations on the theme, beware what message you use with a screw. (Unless you are a consenting adult with a partner who approves of -- even prefers -- naughty kitschy advances, like us.)

Girls, we they didn't forget you either. Given your potential for hormone induced rages, your altered artsy cards involve softer objects, like frilly laces. In fact, all you're suggested to use is lace. You'll need scissors though, so be sure to use those rounded-tipped ones -- and scream & fuss for help. (Whenever I do, those nice young men in the white coats come to help me.)



My favorite here is the "Can't I RUFFLE your feelings, Valentine?" Any man getting that card is gonna agree that you can; and that's when the fight breaks out. Now, with any luck at all, at this point he'll be holding the impotent lace-card as a weapon, and ladies, you'll have the one with the rusty old metal piece.

Now that you've made all your pretty paper Valentines, you'll need a place to stuff them. :ahem: In case you need help creating animals with heart-shaped heads (the paper kind), I've included both pages of instructions.



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Vintage Kid's Comic: Tim & Tom Thumb

From a 1953 issue of Mine, a Catholic children's magazine, comes this children's four-panel comic of two little people.

I'm not certain which is Tom, which is Tim; but one's thing's for certain -- one of these Christian fairies is secure enough in his masculinity to wear pink.

Dad Sketching On A Cake

Stephen's dad, an amateur artist (as the cake on the right shows) . Stephen wanted to know what, exactly, his dad was trying to draw on these cakes. His dad tried his best to explain, even drawing new versions, but with no luck. After a long search, and with some humorous help from his dad, the book his dad learned cartooning from was discovered. Memory is a fun filter: when it loses things, those things cease to be real, no matter how relevant it was.