Bacon & Eggs On Your Fridge

By Kids, For Kids, crochet patterns to make bacon & egg magnets. (Patterns are free for registered members at Lion Brand Yarns; registration is free.)

I Sheepishly Suggest A Tag Correction

To the seller of these vintage salt & pepper shakers, I say, "I think ewe are wrong; these are not deer but sheep." The wise owls in the background concur.

Love To Twitter?

Why not show it with these sweet vintage tweets?



PS You can follow my tweets here.

Contest Alert

This month Antique Trader is giving away a copy of Price Guide to Holt-Howard Collectibles and Related Ceramicware of the 50s & 60s. You can enter here, once a day for the entire month of June.

You Can't Dust M&Ms

I had to buy this retro turquoise glass snack dish -- I mean, come on -- it's fab-u-lous! As the rooster says, "It's something to crow about!" (The photos don't do the turquoise color justice.)


At $2, it was a thrift shop steal.

But then, being 9.5 inches tall, and having a mouth diameter of 4.5 inches (much narrower than the base), it would cost, what, $45 to fill it with peanut butter M&M's?

Plus there's the additional cost of "a lifetime on the hips" -- because you cannot dust off M&M's, you have to eat them.

How To Serve Kitschy Kitschy Food

Inside the vintage EHP Waterless Cookbook, a scary clown dish sitting on a Popsicle-type trivet.

New Year? Not-So-Much

Can't you just hear him saying something like, "Gee, honey, I'd love to help; but you know how clumsy I am in the kitchen... You'd probably be happier if you just took care of this by yourself."



1960 New Years illustration via Flickr.

Make A Mammy (& Pappy) Racist Utensil Rack

Go ahead, I double-dog dare you.



As a white girl, I don't think I should even own these instructions and pattern from a vintage set of Coping Saw Carpentry For Boys & Girls cards... As I've said, Black Americana isn't something I feel good about collecting myself.

Whoopie, if you're reading this, I'll gladly send this to you for your collection. Free, of course.

Santa Gets Juiced

Technically, this is a vintage Santa reamer -- would you have preferred that I said Santa was reamed?



Via Jazze Junque.

Like Hover Cars For Kitchens

In 1945, foot pedals were the fantasy future of kitchens.

FOOT PEDALS will operate many of the labor-saving devices which will be ours in the kitchen of tomorrow. Here the housewife prepares vegetables in the future kitchen, while her little daughter has opened a bin which tilts to throw the vegetables forward. By operating the foot pedals for water in the sink, the housewife has her hands free. The splash board back of the sink is self illuminating when raised, and lowers flush with the working bench at right to form a buffet bar.

From What's Cooking For Tomorrow's Kitchens, by Joseph Lawren, in Modern Woman, Vol 14, No 5, 1945' photograph from Libby-Owens-Ford's "Kitchen of Tomorrow".

You Put The Spoon Where?

That 70's font tells you which is salt, which is pepper -- and for you drug-damaged folks, where to put the spoon. The end of table manners & etiquette is thus documented.

You Say "Fez Monkey Huggers" Like It's A Bad Thing

Vintage salt & pepper shakers via -- where else? -- eBay.

Thanks, But I Prefer Bald Condiment Dispensers

OK, so you know I collect these figurines with pasted on rabbit fur; therefore you might not think I have the right to mock these retro S&P kitties...


But honestly, who wants to shake salt or pepper from them, knowing full well that dust & whatever else sits in the rabbit fur will also be shaken, not stirred, onto your food?

Salt & Pepper Skunks

You might think skunks would make cute vintage S & P shakers, what with their being white & black and all -- but then you realize you have to shake the seasonings out of their backsides.

This Squirrel Wants To Spoon

Cheetah Velour found this retro-squirrel of kitschy kitchen goodness.


I'm tempted to beat her up for it, but then she also found that cool Chuck Norris tee & it probably came with all sorts of skills.

What's Shakin', Officer?

A single vintage S&P shaker of an elephant dressed as a police officer.

Slow Food Tray

By Design Glut.

The Bell Hop's Purpose

Today's question: Is this vintage bell hop holder for salt & pepper shakers or is he, as the commenter stated, a tobacciana item?

Sweet Melamine Dreams

And kitschy nightmares for you too.

Vintage Rocket Toothpick Dispenser

If you need something to boldly go between your teeth and remove that annoying piece of corn you dislodged from the cob at dinner, why not launch the tool in style?



Once filled with toothpicks, all you need to do is press the top down to pop up a toothpick. It's neat no matter how you define it.

via

Vintage Dick Tracy and Junior S&P Shakers

Vintage 1920s-30s chalk S&P shakers worth their salt.

Modern Woman Monday: More Vintage Cookbooks

Serving Up Vintage Recipes: Collecting Cook Books, by Val Ubell.

Retro Manners Refresher

(The First) Thirteen Comments On Social Awareness Tips

"From Refresh Your Table Manners", by Luella Cuming, 1964 Family Circle.

1-5 Rules for informal meals:

At an informal seated meal the hostess may pass dishes from a serving cart at her immediate left; she then serves herself last.

Jeeze, I'd hate to see the formal rules. What direction does the hostess pass? Does it suck to be left-handed then, and if so, does it suck more than serving yourself last when you know there's not going to be enough because the husband brought home 3 extra buddies?

The cart holds a water pitcher, extra silver, glasses, napkins, and any other items that may be needed during the meal. If an item is dropped by a guest, the hostess replaces it from the cart without comment.

Without comment you say... That would kill quite a bit of dinner conversation, wouldn't it? And in my family, we'd drop 'em on purpose, just to force a comment.

If you drop your fork and the hostess doesn't notice, you may use any other fork that is there -- or, without explanation, say to your hostess, "May I please have a fork?"

I agree; if the hostess doesn't notice you (how rude!), by all means, grab the meat serving fork and start shoveling.

Ever notice how the lowly spoon and knife are left out of the discussion? I'd say 67% of all utensils dropped at the table are knives.

Or maybe it's some sort of passive-aggressive thing in my family and the knives aren't really 'dropped' at all...

Movin' on...


6 Passing Food

When you help yourself to food or pass it, hold the dish from underneath so that you do not leave fingerprints on the rim.

(Will keep this PG-13. Will keep this PG-13...)

7 Hey, look, the etiquette lady apparently doesn't believe in grammar; there is no period or other punctuation at the end of most of these tips.

8-10 Yeah, Luella is only on tip number 3, but then I told you that this was 13 comments on the tips; so I'm way ahead of her.

In buffet dining, the hostess stands beside the table and encourages shy guests or offers to serve them.

You have guests too shy to eat? Isn't this one of those survival of the fittest things where we should just let nature take its course?

And what side does the hostess stand on?

Do not overload your plate; it looks unattractive and is hard to manage.

Was this 1964 B.C. -- Before Chinet?

This, though, would explain the shy people who wonder how much food on a plate is unattractive.

11-13 And now for your holy crap moment...

In table manners there are many accepted forms, all equally correct. For example, the continental fashion of eating

The continental fashion of eating? That's how people eat breakfast at hotels, right?

and the zigzag style are equally proper.

Um... Time for a little help here.

OK, I do not zigzag; I am officially a continental styled gal.

If you have your own tradition, try to develop its fine points. The suggestions here are in a widely accepted American tradition

What? No mention of how piggy eats?! Well, I guess that American tradition -- or at least its finer points -- really didn't come into full acceptance until Ralphie's brother Randy showed us in a Christmas Story in 1983.



To be continued...

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Modern Woman Monday: 1000 Ways To Make Yourself Beautiful

This book jacket proclaiming, "A Thousand Ways to Make Yourself Beautiful!" is from the 1940 Hollywood Glamour Cook Book, by Mariposa.

This book will disclose to you the Beauty Secrets of the Movie Stars. You, too, can be "most divinely fair," as irresistible as your favorite Glamour Queen. Imagine the thrill of hearing someone say about you, "Isn't she Glamorous, isn't she lovely!"

You can find out more about my obsession with Mariposa in my article at Collectors' Quest. (And I welcome any knowledge you have about her!)

Funky Science In The Kitchen

Fred Equal Measure Measuring Cup tells you those hard to find measurements such as the volume of half a human brain, volume of one human breath, water in a cumulus cloud the size of a bus, and the amount of table salt in a large human...

I have no idea what you're making, but the kids & I will love it.

Dogs a La...

Hot pads!



Wouldn't want to burn the pooches with hot pots, but they are cute!

(And there's a cat there too.)

From a 1944 Star Potholders Book.

The Center

Isn't creamy.

Isn't molten lava.

It's a Melmac center.



Vintage ad from 1957, sporting all the current flavors, including design names for you Melmac collectors.