13 Funky Images & Kitschy Phrases From A Vintage Dry Cleaning Booklet
(And It's Cooler Than You Think!)
All images & quotes are from the November 1953 issue of Silhouette
, a promotional paper pushing (surprise!) dry cleaning.1) 2) Two For Dreaming
was a feature on holiday gowns.3)
It features a poetry-jam which romanticizes fashion as it eroticizes & enslaves women:
It starts with Thanksgiving... the party nights that are strung like glittering jewels on a chain... ending only when the echoes of the New Year have faded to silvery whispers. You will spin across polished floors--the answer to someone's most intimate dreams--in the timeless femininity of a beautiful ball dress. You will choose white for its kinship to new-fallen snow... or pale blue for tis affinity to a wintry scene. And you will see that your lovely gown does things for you... like moulding your bodice with a tempter's touch... whirling your skirt for the grace of the dance... making you the most distinguished memory a man can know.Damn
, that's hot
. So hot that I don't really register all the "you will" commands as I am brainwashed into wanting a beautiful ball gown... and to polish those floors. Just to be the answer to someone's
most intimate dreams!
I will choose white.
Or pale blue. I haven't quite decided yet.
But then there are other choices.4)
Like what to do about fur... It's a VIP (very important pelt), and even if I go faux, there are many things to consider. Like which ones are kindest to my dry cleaner. Thank goodness I can read Fashion Moves Furward
for some help. (And more puns!)5)6) In Hair Today... Glamour Tomorrow
, by Eleanor Page Hamilton, I get more than the usual tips for setting curls and figuring out how to part my hair for my face shape -- I get this gem:
Arthur "Bugs" Baer -- and I quote -- says, "Nothing drabbles a doll more than soggy bangs." He claims he knows a gal who has such a neurosis about this that she wears a rubber bathing cap whenever she makes cocktails. Okay, so maybe she is a character!
I can't possibly add anything to that. Really. Just feel free to work all of that into conversation at your Fourth of July celebrations.7) 8) From The Top Drawer
includes this bit of knowledge:
Department Of Nothing New: Feminine witchery in the form of knee-hugging breeches is just another steal from the masculine world. In case you care, men of distinction wore tight-laced knee pants, call culottes, in 1735.
Son of a breech! Did this publication aimed at women just accuse the very same of witchery & pantsing men?
Please return to the tempter's touch...9) 10) On Your Feet
continues the puns and enlightens us regarding shoes. The top shoe there, the 'golden sandals' (as if we can see that in black & white), were designed for "the glamorous Queen Elizabeth". You don't hear that phrase much anymore. 11)
In Permanent Reminders
we learn to employ pipe cleaners to catch the "short wisps at the nape of your neck" when giving yourself a home permanent.
Huh. Dames and dolls were to use the professional services of a dry cleaner, but eschew those of the professional salon.12)13) King Cord
. It's no joke.
No wonder the touch of corduroy is like a gentle kiss on the fingertips -- it once was the rainment of royalty. It originated in the court of France and became known as cord du roi -- cord of kings.
The idea of an entire royal court swoosh-swoosh-swooshing from corduroy is hysterical. Especially the French.
Did they also invent the pearlized snap for shirts? That goes great with cords.
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Labels: 1950s, beauty, ephemera, fashion, romance, sexist, Thursday Thirteen, vintage, vintage magazines