Friday's High-Fives On A Saturday?

Because Blogger Draft didn't believe me when I scheduled it.

#1 What's the story with this vintage bag? No Juan Knows.

#s 2, 3 & 4 Two blogs, three posts, one author: Slip of a Girl. It's not my fault there were too many good posts to choose from.

What does Doris Day need to know?

Hey, Little Spaceman

Flapper Girl, What's Under There?

#5 Gawker tracked DNC hats; presumably, so you didn't have to.

Want to give high-fives too? Sure you do!

John Waters, One Of The Beautiful People

But like most beautiful people, he can be hard to reach. Atomic Books can help you with that.

Photo by Dudley Reed.

Urine Our Thoughts

And carpet.

Note card by Porterness, via XXBN.

Quick, What Decade Is It?

We're a bit confused because the last time Mackenzie Phillips made headlines it was... well, for the same thing -- drugs.


We're sure that Mackenzie really wishes she had traded places with Marlene Dietrich back in 1976. Marlene was still alive then; so trading now, while it may alleviate some of today's problems, really isn't a good idea.

Kitschy Kitschy Coo Flashback

Still looking for plaster teepees; here's why.

Kitsch Is, After All, About Bad Taste... So Urine For A Treat

The Dutch has Heineken, St. Pauli's got its girl, but Brussels has their Manneken Boy -- and travelers apparently like to bring him home and make him dispense drinks.



While we still don't want to grab any coins out of it, the fountain makes more sense than the idea of recycled booze -- but, hey, Brussels doesn't sell itself like Vegas. So what happens in Brussels, comes back from Brussels.

All of this makes us wonder about the souvenir trinkets from Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Puppets & Puppet Masters

I don't normally promo the sales of other dealers, but Will at Hang Fire Books took part in my birthday celebration, so he's like family -- like that crazy cousin your parents are always rolling their eyes at but is the most fun to see at extended family get-togethers (sorry, cousin Lisa). Anywayyyy...

Will's got a special going on. He's clearing out the current listings in his eBay store (except the "Prints, Plates and Ephemera" catalog) so you can make him offers he can't refuse -- yes, even the pulps!

So I just made an offer on Puzzle For Puppets. I loves me puppets, and me puzzles. Keep your fingers crossed that Will likes my low-ball *wink*

Homeless Photos: Girls & Cat

The only thing sadder than this old photo of adorable girls in pjs with their cute cat, is the fact that no one wanted to keep it in the family and it still can't find a home.



The littlest girl's toes are so cute, I might just have to ask them to re-list.

Happy Birthday From All The Animals In The Zoo

Vintage "Party Papers by Pakay" napkins by Nashua Corporation, Nashua, N.H.; a 25-pack of these babies once sold for 30 cents. I have many of them, but not all twentyfive. Too cute, so I had to share. I'm sure it's someone's birthday.

This Squirrel Wants To Spoon

Cheetah Velour found this retro-squirrel of kitschy kitchen goodness.


I'm tempted to beat her up for it, but then she also found that cool Chuck Norris tee & it probably came with all sorts of skills.

The Pink Rectangular Hole In His Heart

Jeff! at All Bitched Up would like to remind Arnold Schwarzenegger of his manners -- Manner wafers, that is.

Warbots With Lips

This weekend we were out at the thrift shops, and I found this lovely example of a bizarre cover -- here's a detail:
I didn't buy the book -- there's only so much bad sci-fi that I can read at a time. Turns out, this is the third in a series, and the publisher did the cover in both silver leaf AND embossing, so they were pretty sure it'd make some money. Maybe the book had something better inside than the cover lead me to believe. About all I could gather from the cover is that the book contained 'warbots', and showed us a prime example of a warbot on the cover so readers would know what they were getting into. There are a few things we can learn about warbots, from the cover:

• Their metal 'skin' isn't enough of a functional covering; they require clothing be worn as well; sleeves optional. Or, maybe putting on sleeved clothing is foiled by those kick-ass knuckle studs -- warbots tend to shred sleeves while dressing.
  
• Their most vulnerable part, their brain, it exposed in a very prominent part of the body, under a fragile bowl of glass. Why do futuristic robots always put the brain up there?
  
• They do not require physical ears or noses, but they need REAL HUMAN MOUTHS AND EYES to operate, or at least to put fear into the hearts and minds of their enemies, who will cry out, 'dear god, what horror of nature is this, wearing a vest yet neglecting a hat for his brain?!!?'
  

The cover of Warbots #1 calls them half-human, half-machine...If you could only use half a human, would the eyes and lips be high on your list of parts to keep? I mean, laser/xray/infrared eyes would have been my choice, but nobody yet has hired me for the warbot design department. The series ran for 12 books, which is a pretty good run for a little-known sci-fi series; maybe I should overlook the cover and go back to get the book.

Milk-Mucus Connection Found

Doctors may say there's no connection between milk & mucus, but I think I've found one: Borden's Elsie the Cow on a hanky.

What Could Be Bedda Than Hedda?

Hedda Get Bedda, one of the American Character Whimsie series dolls made in 1961, is a three-faced doll.



You turn the knob on the top of her non-removable bonnet to see all the faces/phases of her disease.



Creepy, ey? This doll would send my sister into deep psychological scare.

According to DollInfo.com, these dolls were marketed to the pre-teens and teenagers who were getting "too old for baby dolls".

If anyone can move past the two-faced to the three-faced, it's pre-teen and teenage girls.

Modern Woman Monday: Bra Retardation Is Real People; The Figures Don't Lie

Oprah says eight out of 10 women are wearing the wrong size bra today. Well, 50 years ago, 47 out of 100 women didn't wear the right fitting bra either.


I don't quite know how to do the math... that's 50+ years to add another 37 percent points, times two breasts -- carry the nipple... At this rate, we're gonna have to carry our nipples.

The bottom line is, ladies, we're not getting older & wiser; we're getting older & saggier.

See another Formfit ad, likely from the 40's, boasting the same sad figures to boost lagging sales along with sagging boobs.

How About A Punch -- & Judy -- In The Nose

OK, so it may not be Punch & Judy, but still, it's blowing your nose on puppets. And kids.

Of Pink Elephants That Roll Through Your Life

I found this pink elephant at a thrift store this weekend -- and it reminded me of the real pink elephants in collecting.


And yes, Jolly Jumbo (circa 1961) is for sale. (The glass "marble" wheels aren't the only way this pink elephant is movin' on through...) But you don't have to buy mine; someone else has one like it listed on eBay. Maybe you'll score.

Heed The False Prophets Of Kitschy Kitschy Coo

And avoid the Dark Day & other bad things which otherwise could await you. (We'll point you away from that path of doom.)

Big Dreams Of The Big-Eyed

You've heard of Big Eyed Art, right? I never owned any big-eyed art, but I did have a crying basset dog bank that I sorely want back.


(Feel free to bid on it and send it to me.)

But did you know there was also a big-eyed doll in the 60's -- complete with tear?



Little Miss No Name by Hasbro Toys (1965) was designed by Deet D'Andrade. Little Miss No Name wore a burlap dress, had a hand made for begging, and that large plastic tear... I'm guessing I never heard of her because few little girls wanted to play adopt the homeless begging orphan (Little Orphan Annie had a lovely red dress -- and too much spunk to let herself go like that). Fewer still wanted to plan & play a day in the life of a pitiful waif (also probably why the Kate Moss dolls never came to fruition).

But I want her.

I'm guessing when I find her, she'll be more expensive that replacing my old retro sad dog bank... But it won't stop me from fancying the two, together, in my office.

It's better to have big dreams of big eyed art -- and be left with a giant plastic tear -- then to never have dreamed at all.

Fortune Stix Don't Sux

I'm pretty darn sure these are swizzle sticks; at least that's why I grabbed the baggy of 'em (which also had some silly old candle holders for cakes -- photos of them later).


Super bonus points because they are fortune telling sticks. The six Fortune Stix (one's a repeat) predict:

Vanity will be your undoing.

A successful trip is forecast.

Near-by love will protect you.

Hard work will make you wealthy.

Your charm will bring you riches.

I guess my particular brand of charm will involve hard work... I guess that's the only way I can avoid being vain.

I'm thinking the "near-by love" who will "protect you" is the designated driver. And that's why you'll also have a successful trip.

That's How Cheap I Can Be

This charming vintage planter with a brownie or elf or whatnot was marked $5 -- so today, 1/2 price day at this particular thrift store, it was $2.50. But I still did not get it.


Why not? Because the limit in my head was $2. Hey, $2 is like 20 flats of magazines at an auction for gawd's sake.

I am cheap, kitschy, crazy lady.

Have A Ball

Kick a kitten.


Wal-Mart wants you to.

Scrap Rug Fun - Doggy Tissue Cover

From the February, 1971, issue of Pack-O-Fun, instructions to make a doggie tissue box cover. (This is actually practical too because cutting up old rugs is sure to make you -- and others -- sneeze.)

Will. Not. Eat.

I don't care what the ratio of Tigger bits to Pooh parts is -- I don't want any poo in my cereal.

Dino-Ramas

She sells sea shells by the seashore; but he plays with dinosaurs in the water and sand.



There are an amazing number of fanatical collectors sharing in the CQ community. Today's find are the freakingly-outrageous dinosaur dioramas by Boki.

The Story Of The Bear Hug Wiggler; Or Why I'm Not Allowed To Go Out Of The House Alone

We went to BK the other night, hubby, middle girl and I. The kids' toys are Crayola toys. Inside the toy's packaging they always have the insert with all the other toys, so kids whine to come back for more. I looked at it and was intrigued by the "Bear Hug" Wiggler.

I have a thing for bears, and a natural human disposition to laziness, so I wondered, is this thing a bear you put a crayon into and when you wind it up, it draws for you? If so, I need one.

There was no explanation or description on the insert, so I went to the counter to ask the pimply-faced boy standing there. Our interaction was brief and went like this:

Me: "Hi, can you show me the bear wiggler?"

Him: "Huh?"

Me: "Can I see your bear wiggler?"

Him: *blank stare*

Me: "Your bear wiggler -- the Crayola toy."

Him: *digging blindly beneath the counter in what I can only assume is a bin of kids' meal toys -- occasionally looking into the assumed box then back at me*

Me: *waiting hopefully*

Him: "I have no idea what that is. I have no idea what that is."

Me: "Uh, OK, thanks anyway."

I walk to the door to meet the waiting family, whereupon my hubby, sardonic eyebrow raised, says, "Probably not appropriate to ask a guy to show him his 'bare wiggler' in public."

Doh!

All that, and I still don't know what a "Bear Hug" Wiggler is.

But I'm pretty sure I still want one. Now I have a great cougar story to with it.

Marvels From 1954's The Family Physician -- Or Bad HMO?

Within the pages of The Family Physician, by Dr. Herman Pomeranz & Dr. Irvin S. Koll, 1954, there are many things to marvel at. On the inset photo page between 142 & 143 we find the following marvels:

A Miracle Of Modern Science

Nail swallowed by four-year-old boy was successfully withdrawn from his duodenum when doctors induced him to gulp chocolate malted milk containing magnet attached to a thread. X-ray shows magnet in contact with nail, which appears as curved line beneath it.

Self-Operation

Photograph shows doctor removing his own appendix; assistant and nurse helped him to hold instruments. He did this to "get patient's attitude."

If I had to choose between gulping chocolate milk with a magnet & thread (just like mom used to make!) or operating on myself, I'd gulp, baby.

I can't even understand the "get patient's attitude" dealio-mcbob. I mean are there patients who actually operate on themselves? Or was the unnamed doc responding to those patients who, like visitors to art galleries, think they can do that themselves.

Not Playing With A Full Deck Myself...

In an old coffee can of toy parts I found these vintage slide puzzle pieces of cowboys & Indians.



I know pieces are missing; but I'll keep looking. One day, I might just find 'em.

Ladies Don't Argue With A Burglar

They pack heat in their nighties.



Via Flickr.

What's Shakin', Officer?

A single vintage S&P shaker of an elephant dressed as a police officer.

We Said A-Beef-Hot-Links!

Due to the ear-worminess of the Hillshire Farm ads, I've been compelled to post such things.

Thanks to Retrofuture, I can.

Clone Helmet Wars?

A Homemade Clone Helmet for your from Mustard Mellon:

I know what you’re thinking: “What a clever duct tape replica of an Episode 2 red clone trooper helmet!” That is what it looks like, but really I was more inspired by my dad’s old Mandalorian helmet from his days as a training sergeant during the Clone Wars.

It Could Happen To You!

Yes, it COULD happen to you!

You're minding your own business, wearing your gasoline-soaked paper clothes and high heels, standing with one foot stuck in a pile of leaves, only to be surprised -- surprised -- the dead, dry leaves spontaneously combust and fire races up your leg, exploding your coat into huge flames before you realize what's happening. Oh, and you're a woman, so it's pretty much guaranteed that you're going to screw up raking leaves in a hideous, maiming way. It's March 21, 1964, and The Farmer magazine needs to sell some insurance; crank up the horror and fears of lonely farmwives, who can barely be trusted with the most basic of lawncare, and encourage them that any task you perform around the farm could quickly cause you to burn alive. Stay away from milking the cows, ma; remember what the insurance company said!

Doctors Recommend You Lose Your Marbles

Inside The Family Physician, by Dr. Herman Pomeranz & Dr. Irvin S. Koll, 1954, comes this exercise to strengthen your feet. (Or so it says; the whole section is a set of incredulous health & beauty moves for women, including the old 'slap under your chin' exercise).


It directs you to:

Scatter marbles about floor and try to pick them up with your toes. Curl toes around marbles, hold them for a few seconds. Alternate feet. Do this for about five minutes.

Nowhere does it say to remove the marbles from the floor, which isn't very safe, Doctors. Tsk tsk.

An old ex of mine would have been excellent at this. He could pick a pencil up with his toes and write -- as in long to-do lists & full-length letters. Creepy.

...But, he did have beautiful, shapely legs, as attested every Halloween with his cross-dressing costumes. (Yeah, I think we know why he's an ex; no woman wants her man to draw more wolf-whistles for his legs than she can get.) So perhaps a lady could do well to improve her toe dexterity.

Modern Woman Monday: Consumption Information Gives Me The Vapors

From pages 96 & 97 in Pathfinder Physiology No. 3, Hygienic Physiology, by Joel Dorman Steele, PhD., 1888.


First an illustration of the "deformity" of tight lacing of corsets (which I've already disputed -- NWS), then this gem on "consumption":

Consumption is a disease which destroys the substance of the lungs. Like other lung difficulties, it is caused by a want of pure air, a liberal supply of which is the best treatment that can be prescribed for it.*

...* If I were seriously ill of consumption, I would live outdoors day and night, except in rainy weather or midwinter; then I would sleep in an unplastered log house. Physic has no nutriment, gaspings for air can not cure you, monkey capers in a gymnasium can not cure you, stimulants can not cure you. What consumptives want is pure air, not physic, plenty of meat and plenty of bread, -- Dr. Marshall Hall.

I've always heard consumption and the vapers were catch-alls for undiagnosed illnesses, like cancer, and/or diseases in the minds of fragile women. But in case I am wrong, anyone tried monkey capers for their consumption?

I'd Always Heard...

Brits had funky teeth; this one's got a funky eye.

1959 Top Secret Magazine

I just published this article on vintage gossip magazines, and already folks are emailing me asking for more scans of the pages... Beg me, and perhaps I'll go through the trouble *wink*

Sshh... It's Contraband

An ad that ran in the UK for the 1968 Contraband Pantee -- yup, two "e"s. It smuggles years off your figure -- presumably then they and the bulges are stowed away on some pirate ship where they don't care if a gal jiggles or how old she is; it only matters that she's a gal.