Sid & Nancy Glitter Heart Necklace

As if combining Sid & Nancy with a big blue glittery heart weren't enough, there's a safety pin and and a razor blade to drive it all home to kitschy heaven. Necklace by IndyGrrrlProductions.

Retro USSR Earrings

Plastic hammer & sickle circles for your ears.

Ring-Ring! Retro Nordstrom Kitsch Calling

Via my Shop It To Me Sale Mail I discovered this Betsey Johnson Flower & Ladybug Ring at Nordstrom.

Space Baby, Baby

Necklace via IndyGrrrlProductions.

Instant Mustache!

I already have a mustache (a van dyke, to be accurate) that I've had for around 10 years now, but you never know when a mustache needs to appear completely without warning. First...Popstache:



Clip it on to your soda or water bottle, and with each sip you look a little more sophisticated than before. Make sure you keep it right side up, or else you might end up looking a bit strange; nobody has a handlebar goatee.

You might not be the one in need of mustaching, the solution of which is the mustache ring:



Give a mustache to anybody else, even if they already have a mustache. It's like the Green Lantern's power ring, but designed by Apple for simplicity and interactivity.

ring via, popstache via.

Bet You Didn't See This Coming

A fortune-telling elf for your lapel.

Tin Man Tick-Tocks, But No Word On His Heart

This vintage tin man pin has his clock belly facing 'up' so that you can tell the time while wearing him.

For $265 You Can Have A Black Boy Hold Your Mink Closed

OK, so it's a vintage enameled fur clip; does that make it any better? And why does he have dice? I wouldn't trust any gambler to hold my mink -- that might be why they're called "stoles".

You'd Have To Be Drunk To Wear 'Em

This is what I'd call a Holy Grail Kitsch Find: a vintage pair of "happy sloshed pipe cleaner men earrings". Dude, I know what we're making next Girl's Night... Because it probably helps to be tipsy to make 'em too.

Don't Believe Mousetraps Hurt?

Maybe you'll believe this vintage Elzac ceramic mouse pin:

Vintage black rhinestone poodle pin with red rhinestone nose.

Giving Peace The Finger

An ironic finger placement for a dove ring.

Vinyl Kraftwerks

Hopefully you won't be melting any actual Kraftwerk vinyl (it's worth quite a bit more than this), but find yourself a Sing Along With Mitch and make yourself something pretty. I'm sure my daughter, who walks along the edge of Gothness in her fashion, wants to make some of these:



Making strips out of vinyl, bending them into a bracelet, and adding baubles is so very 1980s, ultra-retro. When we were messing around with melting records this summer, cutting them briefly crossed my mind, but apparently it's easier and more useful than I thought. But a paper-cutter? Ingenious! Metafilter has a bunch of other projects, quite a few more things than just bowls.

Keep Your Rings On A Slug

If you have difficulty keeping track of your rings, you can put them on a slug. (They call it a snail, but there's no shell.) I guess the story is that they won't wander off too far. I tried it once, but then my dog rubbed & slid its face along the slug (why do they do that?!) and my rings ended up all over the lawn.

Tinkerbell Pooping A Pearl

This has to be the most hilarious thing I've read today: Is it a cheap-looking gold necklace featuring what looks like Tinkerbell pooping a pearl? Surprisingly, yep, that's Disney.



The article, from The Onion's AV Club is all about identifying the horribly kitschy designs Disney uses in their products, so that there's no mistaking where you bought it from. The sad thing is, the Onion AV Club doesn't understand that pearls ARE actually fairy poop. They should take a science class once in a while.