Meat-za Pizza

Some assembly required; not available in all 50 states.

(Tell us how to serve and eat that, Louella!)

Modern Woman Monday: 1000 Ways To Make Yourself Beautiful

This book jacket proclaiming, "A Thousand Ways to Make Yourself Beautiful!" is from the 1940 Hollywood Glamour Cook Book, by Mariposa.

This book will disclose to you the Beauty Secrets of the Movie Stars. You, too, can be "most divinely fair," as irresistible as your favorite Glamour Queen. Imagine the thrill of hearing someone say about you, "Isn't she Glamorous, isn't she lovely!"

You can find out more about my obsession with Mariposa in my article at Collectors' Quest. (And I welcome any knowledge you have about her!)

Thursday Thirteen: Hello, 1964!

13 More Magazine Scans To Mock, From The Year I Was Born
(I skipped TT last week here, so you can't be sick of me.)

#1 Musical Jump Rope with clown head handles?! No matter how fast you skip and run, those clowns follow you!



#2 Amazing any of the Breck's solitaire game boards, made of "feather-light Dylite" (aka Styrofoam) survived. (I know they have, every once and awhile I spot them at thrift stores -- even without being in a box. Which means someone had to carry it in gingerly, separately, from the other donated goods. Amazing.)



#4 Vicks: Where huffing begins.




#5 & 6 For those that believe in the separation of Church & State, 15 Religious Figures and 35 Presidential Statues -- each with their own display.




#7 Arthur Godfrey says Tintex takes the guesswork out of fabric dying.



Now that you've seen the ad, let's talk. What's the deal with this celeb endorsement? Was Godfrey a big ol' butch male crafter -- the Rosey Grier of his time?

(Well, it does look like Godfrey's has his experiences with dying... Look at those splotches on his face.)

#8 Black Eyed Suzie Flowerkins. I saw her live on stage at CBGB's.



#9 & 10 In an issue of Workbasket we find Women Who Make Cents. Some ingenious gal gives away her secrets for making money by using her left over netting to make hair nets. I'd say selling her business idea to the magazine for $2 is more money than she ever made or would have made from the sale of hair nets, no matter what decade.


Also in this column on ways for women to "add to the family income" are directions for bronzing baby shoes at home:

Fill a pair of baby shoes completely with plaster of Paris. Allow to dry or set. Then spray with gold or bronze paint, giving them 2 or 3 coats. Then sell for $2.50 to $3.50 per pair.

OK, I won't argue the cost v. profit ratio (I'm too lazy to research the cost of baby shoes, plaster of Paris and paint in 1964), but isn't the point of bronzing baby booties to both preserve your own child's booties (memories) and to actually bronze them?

#11 If you can't see the bleach container for the pig and actually need instructions and a pattern to make Pretty Priscilla, perhaps you've moved from huffing Vicks to snorting Clorox.



#12 Royal made a "nutty new flavor" in 1964 -- "a proud new pudding that combines the creaminess of caramel with the crunch of toasted bits of cashews!"



I can't won't am not allowed to speak for pudding pride, but the reasons why I've never hear of caramel-cashew pudding was either:

A) cashew quickly pudding became as pricey as cashmere pudding & out-priced anything in the boxed dessert (including the other Royal flavors, by the case)

or

B) like me, few desired crunchy pudding.

#13 Just when you thought pudding couldn't get any nuttier...

My-T-Fine pudding pushed a pudding and pantyhose promo.



I'm at a bit of a loss here because hubby keeps me to the PG-13 rule, but naturally, when I hear of pudding and pantyhose I think of a control-top -- and a breathable cotton crotch. The ad mentions neither.

Nor does it actually state pantyhose, but rather reads "nylon fashion hosiery." Not that pudding in my stockings sounds much better.

...But now I'm treading on the too-thin PG-13 ice. I don't want to skate the issue; he makes me. You, however, may play with "pudding" and "ladies' hosiery" and "My-T-Fine" and see what you come up with.

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I Love Chiquita Banana, So I'm Here To Say...

Chiquita Banana was inspired by Carmen Miranda, and so before Chiquita was an animated banana, there was The Terry Twins in Chiquita Banana (1946):



Chiquita Banana was then drawn by artist Dik Browne who also drew the Campbell Soup kids and Hagar the Horrible.

According to Weird Wild Realm:

Patty Clayton was the first radio voice of Chiquita for radio in 1944, followed by Elsa Miranda for 1945-6 promotional tour. Elsa Puerto Rican not related to the Brazillian singer in the fruit hat who inspired the character of Chiquita Banana.

Also see Animation Archive's Chiquita Banana theatrical animation info.

Here's the original Chiquita Banana theatrical ad:



Chiquita became so popular that parody ensued... I give you Juanita Banana by the Peels (1965).



In 1987 artist Oscar Grillo, creator of the Pink Panther, transformed Chiquita Banana from banana woman into a woman. And that's about when I lost interest in her.

Pink Elephant Hang-Over

From Spuzz Light Year at LJ's vintage Magic in Frosting book, found via Planet Fabulon.

Boxed Dinners

Upon spying this 1957 ad for Chef Boy-Ar-Dee's box-O-pizza I not-so-fondly remembered eating the stuff.


Why was eating Kraft Macaroni and Cheese grand, but just spotting a box of this stuff in the pantry a sign that you were indeed among the poor kids?

Big Boy Eventually Lost To An Even Bigger Steak

Chickens will devour McDonald's. Film at 11.

Via Flickr.

All The Good Ones Are Married Or...

Drinking Pepsi.



Via No Smoking In The Skull Cave.

Arg!

Seems here they won't sell to US customers -- and while they say nothing of prohibiting such things, (this) one imagines it has something to do with the cord/plug/socket/electricity. Bummer.

Because nothing says 'breakfast' better than skull-and-crossbones toast & a GnR ref on my toaster.

Eat Your Melamine Meal

Sausage and mash tray... Hooray?

Plug In And Turn On To... Flavored Candles

This Hollywood Fudge Candle, © 1971, made by Control Tower, Hollywood, Calif. is a brown candle on wooden sticks with a paper label to further enhance the frozen-treat look.

Packaging reads:

Artificially Colored, Scented, Quiescently Poured Candles

Ingredients: Artificial flavoring (except banana and root beer) a variety of flickering, far out, absurd flavors.

More proof that the 70's were a confusing time - a fudge flavored candle? And nowhere does it say that this candle should not be ingested. Nor does it state that you ought not put the lighted candle in your lap...

I guess that's why ControlTower is no longer around. Even with such a cool tag line as "Plug In And Turn On To Bright Ideas" (What?! No, "man" at the end of that?)

The 70's were indeed a kinder, gentler time. I guess with all the drugs, no lawyers were really needed.

But still, with all the far out drugs, should flavor-tempting home decor be left near guests with munchies?

Cheeto-tinis, Anyone?

Britney & her Cheeto-tini is just one of Doodle Whore's creations.

Found via SpreeMail.