Mrs. George C. Wagoner of Glendale, California, must have never been told by her momma not to play with her food; here she show how to make a tiny orchestra from hairpins, paper clips, modeling clay, and a basket of common fruits and vegetables. Talk about your anthropomorphic fruits and veggies!
Slenderella, packed by Richmond-Chase Company, featured Sucaryl® -- "the magic sweetener that doesn't add one single calorie". The cutie-patootie in the ad exclaims, "...so finally I tried slenderella low-calorie foods... and look what happened to itty-bitty me!"
I look slimmer when I wear my tablecloths too, bitch.
But seriously... Sucaryl ® is Cyclamate, and was banned in the US for cancer. Which sort of begs the question about just what would be the cause of any weight loss.
Like many artificial sweeteners, the sweetness of cyclamate was discovered by accident. Michael Sveda was working in the lab on the synthesis of anti-fever medication. He put his cigarette down on the lab bench and when he put it back in his mouth he discovered the sweet taste of cyclamate.
Just how do lab rats manage to survive at all?
Ad found in The Dakota Farmer, "Dakota's Own Magazine", April 18, 1959.
This book jacket proclaiming, "A Thousand Ways to Make Yourself Beautiful!" is from the 1940 Hollywood Glamour Cook Book, by Mariposa.
This book will disclose to you the Beauty Secrets of the Movie Stars. You, too, can be "most divinely fair," as irresistible as your favorite Glamour Queen. Imagine the thrill of hearing someone say about you, "Isn't she Glamorous, isn't she lovely!"
13 More Magazine Scans To Mock, From The Year I Was Born (I skipped TT last week here, so you can't be sick of me.)
#1 Musical Jump Rope with clown head handles?! No matter how fast you skip and run, those clowns follow you!
#2 Amazing any of the Breck's solitaire game boards, made of "feather-light Dylite" (aka Styrofoam) survived. (I know they have, every once and awhile I spot them at thrift stores -- even without being in a box. Which means someone had to carry it in gingerly, separately, from the other donated goods. Amazing.)
#4 Vicks: Where huffing begins.
#5 & 6 For those that believe in the separation of Church & State, 15 Religious Figures and 35 Presidential Statues -- each with their own display.
#7 Arthur Godfrey says Tintex takes the guesswork out of fabric dying.
Now that you've seen the ad, let's talk. What's the deal with this celeb endorsement? Was Godfrey a big ol' butch male crafter -- the Rosey Grier of his time?
(Well, it does look like Godfrey's has his experiences with dying... Look at those splotches on his face.)
#8 Black Eyed Suzie Flowerkins. I saw her live on stage at CBGB's.
#9 & 10 In an issue of Workbasket we find Women Who Make Cents. Some ingenious gal gives away her secrets for making money by using her left over netting to make hair nets. I'd say selling her business idea to the magazine for $2 is more money than she ever made or would have made from the sale of hair nets, no matter what decade.
Also in this column on ways for women to "add to the family income" are directions for bronzing baby shoes at home:
Fill a pair of baby shoes completely with plaster of Paris. Allow to dry or set. Then spray with gold or bronze paint, giving them 2 or 3 coats. Then sell for $2.50 to $3.50 per pair.
OK, I won't argue the cost v. profit ratio (I'm too lazy to research the cost of baby shoes, plaster of Paris and paint in 1964), but isn't the point of bronzing baby booties to both preserve your own child's booties (memories) and to actually bronze them?
#11 If you can't see the bleach container for the pig and actually need instructions and a pattern to make Pretty Priscilla, perhaps you've moved from huffing Vicks to snorting Clorox.
#12 Royal made a "nutty new flavor" in 1964 -- "a proud new pudding that combines the creaminess of caramel with the crunch of toasted bits of cashews!"
I can't won't am not allowed to speak for pudding pride, but the reasons why I've never hear of caramel-cashew pudding was either:
A) cashew quickly pudding became as pricey as cashmere pudding & out-priced anything in the boxed dessert (including the other Royal flavors, by the case)
B) like me, few desired crunchy pudding.
#13 Just when you thought pudding couldn't get any nuttier...
My-T-Fine pudding pushed a pudding and pantyhose promo.
I'm at a bit of a loss here because hubby keeps me to the PG-13 rule, but naturally, when I hear of pudding and pantyhose I think of a control-top -- and a breathable cotton crotch. The ad mentions neither.
Nor does it actually state pantyhose, but rather reads "nylon fashion hosiery." Not that pudding in my stockings sounds much better.
...But now I'm treading on the too-thin PG-13 ice. I don't want to skate the issue; he makes me. You, however, may play with "pudding" and "ladies' hosiery" and "My-T-Fine" and see what you come up with.
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Patty Clayton was the first radio voice of Chiquita for radio in 1944, followed by Elsa Miranda for 1945-6 promotional tour. Elsa Puerto Rican not related to the Brazillian singer in the fruit hat who inspired the character of Chiquita Banana.