Craft-Scan Friday: Get Yer Space-Age Santas Here

Remember the 60's and how they promised us a future of hover cars and jet-pack travel? Well, some of us do, anyway. The rest of you can put down your Tommee Tippee cups and see why the rest of us all believed so hard.

See, our moms were busy creating space-age Christmases. Just like Ethel Peterson who had covered the face of her clock (now at a thrift shop near you) with a half-circle of gold-flocked cardboard. "Stars, pasted onto the blue crepe paper, give 'sky' effect."



Pretty potent stuff, merging forever, the idea of travel, space, and free gifts.

Here Santa rides a rocket -- which they call a "jet" ("cut from linoleum rolls and covered with shelf paper, then painted"). Not only better than that, a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn.



What the heck can be better than typing "a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn"? Seeing it. I can't wait to make hundreds for next year's holiday craft fair.

When Your Plastic Pine Needles Fall...

Here's another version of a tissue paper flower tree, made on last year's tree frame.

Yes, "another version" -- because in this 1959 holiday magazine there's a more, err, traditional tree with tissue paper flowers. I don't honestly know if there is such a thing as a traditional tissue paper blossom decorated Christmas tree... But the other one is huge and I'm saving that one for holiday time. So you get this "diminutive" version, "just right to decorate a dining room or entrance hall table".


I'm not very surprised to find such a "spring posies on a Christmas tree" project; but I am surprised that the last year's artificial tree was plucked of the plastic needles so quickly...

Just in case you need to recycle your artificial tree -- and don't find tissue paper trees anything to sneeze at, here's the pattern & instructions.

Will She Make Underpants From Maps Of France?

Artist Elisabeth Lecourt uses maps of cities to create clothes (to put on your walls, not your bods).



Via Craftzine Blog.

Thursday Thirteen: Hello, 1964!

13 More Magazine Scans To Mock, From The Year I Was Born
(I skipped TT last week here, so you can't be sick of me.)

#1 Musical Jump Rope with clown head handles?! No matter how fast you skip and run, those clowns follow you!



#2 Amazing any of the Breck's solitaire game boards, made of "feather-light Dylite" (aka Styrofoam) survived. (I know they have, every once and awhile I spot them at thrift stores -- even without being in a box. Which means someone had to carry it in gingerly, separately, from the other donated goods. Amazing.)



#4 Vicks: Where huffing begins.




#5 & 6 For those that believe in the separation of Church & State, 15 Religious Figures and 35 Presidential Statues -- each with their own display.




#7 Arthur Godfrey says Tintex takes the guesswork out of fabric dying.



Now that you've seen the ad, let's talk. What's the deal with this celeb endorsement? Was Godfrey a big ol' butch male crafter -- the Rosey Grier of his time?

(Well, it does look like Godfrey's has his experiences with dying... Look at those splotches on his face.)

#8 Black Eyed Suzie Flowerkins. I saw her live on stage at CBGB's.



#9 & 10 In an issue of Workbasket we find Women Who Make Cents. Some ingenious gal gives away her secrets for making money by using her left over netting to make hair nets. I'd say selling her business idea to the magazine for $2 is more money than she ever made or would have made from the sale of hair nets, no matter what decade.


Also in this column on ways for women to "add to the family income" are directions for bronzing baby shoes at home:

Fill a pair of baby shoes completely with plaster of Paris. Allow to dry or set. Then spray with gold or bronze paint, giving them 2 or 3 coats. Then sell for $2.50 to $3.50 per pair.

OK, I won't argue the cost v. profit ratio (I'm too lazy to research the cost of baby shoes, plaster of Paris and paint in 1964), but isn't the point of bronzing baby booties to both preserve your own child's booties (memories) and to actually bronze them?

#11 If you can't see the bleach container for the pig and actually need instructions and a pattern to make Pretty Priscilla, perhaps you've moved from huffing Vicks to snorting Clorox.



#12 Royal made a "nutty new flavor" in 1964 -- "a proud new pudding that combines the creaminess of caramel with the crunch of toasted bits of cashews!"



I can't won't am not allowed to speak for pudding pride, but the reasons why I've never hear of caramel-cashew pudding was either:

A) cashew quickly pudding became as pricey as cashmere pudding & out-priced anything in the boxed dessert (including the other Royal flavors, by the case)

or

B) like me, few desired crunchy pudding.

#13 Just when you thought pudding couldn't get any nuttier...

My-T-Fine pudding pushed a pudding and pantyhose promo.



I'm at a bit of a loss here because hubby keeps me to the PG-13 rule, but naturally, when I hear of pudding and pantyhose I think of a control-top -- and a breathable cotton crotch. The ad mentions neither.

Nor does it actually state pantyhose, but rather reads "nylon fashion hosiery." Not that pudding in my stockings sounds much better.

...But now I'm treading on the too-thin PG-13 ice. I don't want to skate the issue; he makes me. You, however, may play with "pudding" and "ladies' hosiery" and "My-T-Fine" and see what you come up with.

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Vintage Holiday Dress-Up Aprons

Here are frivolous aprons that look more at home in the living room than the kitchen. They're enlivened with all sorts of sparkling trims and are designed to go to a party.

From a 1959 Better Homes & Gardens Christmas Ideas magazine, this four page spread on Dress-up aprons made for holiday giving -- complete as shown with patterns. (Click to see large scans.) And, before I forget, check out my article at CQ: Collecting Female Uniforms: Vintage Aprons.

Dogs a La...

Hot pads!



Wouldn't want to burn the pooches with hot pots, but they are cute!

(And there's a cat there too.)

From a 1944 Star Potholders Book.

Craft-Scan Friday: Binding Your Workbaskets

Perhaps this is why vintage Workbasket issues are so difficult to find -- they've all been sewn together.



Vintage magazine binding advice which will work for modern mags too -- should you wish to make future collectors weep.

The Date Line, 1957

Thirteen Points Along "The Date Line"

The Date Line: Facts & Fancies for the Girl in School, by Jan Landon, as it appeared in the November 1957 issue of Good Housekeeping.



#1 Boys in bottles.

Boys in bottles are a flash fad in Kansas... to get a pickled effect like this, girls back the picture with cardboard, brace them with clothes-hanger wire, and float them in colored water... others just paste glossy prints inside the bottle with rubber cement -- either way is pretty eerie while it lasts.

Ya think?Amazingly, the photo of a bottled-boy is credited to Dare Wright. (I have a huge crush on Dare Wright and her works-- so does Slippity-Do-Da.)

#2 All the, er, cool girls are doin' it...

That outgrown game, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, is roaring back in a new Southern version" "Pin-the-sideburn-on-Elvis." !.....

I wonder if it continued with fat-Elvis too? Girls in the south, who were learning to deep-fat-fry any and all foods, must have continued to love Fat Elvis, right?

#3 I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed to be from Wisconsin...

In Wisconsin they say the girl's "got him drafted" when the boy's hooked...

How cheesy.

#4 I'm beginning to suspect this groovy knowledge isn't for "the girl in school", but for her parents... Like some sort of "how to understand your teenager" and "learn the lingo" advice column.

"It's been a hunk of heaven, but I think I'll jump for earth," means the party, evening, or romance is over.

#5 Of course, every school girl wants to know how the ultra glam college girls are wearing their sweaters...


#6 For the cool girl in school, tips on making an autograph belt. Ingredients are as simple as the sideburn-pinning-girls are: a plain, wide leather belt and press-on gold-leaf.


Next they giveth, then taketh... A crafty idea and then an equally crafty insult.

#7 First a DIY tip for using clothesline rope, painted in bright enamel paint to make "un-run-of-the-mill" necklaces for "medallions". Take that crafty tip and choke on it.

#8 Don't like that insult? How about this insult then: "Your mother must have bought you with green stamps!" It is the latest insult. (It may seem weird for a ladies' magazine to give insult tips -- but what sort of person actually takes such advice?)

#9 This next one makes me feel better about being a cheesy Wisconsin girl; at least I'm not from Texas.

Every rooter pops a blown-up paper bag at the kick-off of special games at Amarillo High, Texas

#10 But still, Texas girls are less icky than these girls...

Right after the Chicopee High, Mass., teams wins a big game, girls beg boys for, of all things, the chin straps of their football helmets... straps are prized collectors' items, hung like trophies on bedroom walls.

Hey, don't say, "Of all things," because heaven knows a sweaty chin strap worn by a pimply lad is leagues better than other straps -- begged for or not.

#11 This next bit features "grab-bag evenings", heh heh. Oh wait -- it's not quite the snarky fun it sounds like... The 'grab-bags' aren't ugly girls after all.

"Grab-bag evenings" eliminate squables on group dates in St. Louis... instead of arguing about restaurants and movies, they put ads of all possible choices in two boxes, one for movies, one for restaurants -- everybody goes to the spots drawn by a blindfolded girl.

And that's how Muffy ended up blindfolded in the back of Dale's dad's Buick. Honest.

#12 Little black books weren't enough...

"Fix-up files" are made by Midwest girls to simplify arranging blind dates... they're wallet albums of their girl friends' pictures with statistics and interests listed on the back for the benefit of inquiring boys...

Those 1957 Midwest girls were slutty, pimping their friends; I feel even prouder now.

#13 More fashion advice you need to take -- like a slap in the face:



#14 Yup, a bonus.

An endearing twist in envelope inscriptions is being revived in the Midwest... on letters to girls, boys add a phrase above the address so that it reads like this:

Oh, how I

Miss Sandra Smith
64 Middlefield Rd.
etc., etc.,

Gawd, no wonder those boys needed help soliciting dates.

Then again, maybe that "Oh, how I" was code for something.

#15 Don't complain -- you need more tips on how to understand what your peers are saying to you:

"Face in the crowd" is new for someone who'll pass with a shove...

I need that translated, actually.

If you have "the rare disease," you haven't had a date for ages.

No comment. Hubby makes me keep this PG-13 and I think that line is rife with enough innuendo as it is.

Well, as the cook kids say, it's been a hunk of heaven but I think I'll jump for earth now.

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Craft-Scan Friday: Instructions For Vintage Cloth Doll, Jenny

From a 1964 Workbasket magazine, instructions for Jenny, a cloth doll. Don't say I never gave you nuthin'.

High-Five Fridays #5

1) William at Hang Fire Books overheard this conversation between two Salvation Army workers.

2) I mock a lot of crafts here, but as you've likely expected I am also charmed by many too -- I must be at some level to save all the stuff I do. *wink* For those who admit their problem hobby, check out Vintage Craft Patterns for free old instructions.

3) Somewhat related is Make. It's not always 'old' but it's of the same DIY spirit that you see in Popular Mechanics, Work Basket etc.

4) High-fives in general to coisas do arco da velha "bizarre - burlesque - freaks - circus - kitsch - pulp - mexico". Don't worry, it's in English -- but even ifin t'weren't, you'd enjoy the images & understand it all the same. (Like you understand what I say here half the time anyway.)

5) Most of you probably know of the Vintage Ad community at LiveJournal, but it's worth a high-five for its continued dedication.

Want to give high-fives too? Participation is a lot like Thursday Thirteen, only your post is links to who and what you like.

Find out how to give your High-Five Fridays here!

The purpose of this meme is to give high-fives to 5 people, posts, blogs and/or websites you've admired during the week. I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 5 high-fives on Friday. Trackbacks, pings, linky widgets, comment links accepted!

Visiting fellow High-Fivers is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your High-Fives in others comments (please note if NWS).

Find more High-Five Friday folks here!

13 Retro Nylon Netting... Nightmares?

Got lots of netting and a hankering for cutesy critter madness -- but lacking the imagination or instruction necessary to get started? Well, kiddos, this is your lucky day...

1) Nylon Net Novelties (1967) is 23 pages of kitschy retro goodness, sure to keep you busy for hours and hours -- with the added benefit of annoying everyone you know by giving them all your 'handicrafted' offspring.


I know you're all dying to see more of the poodle.

But it's my blog, so we're paging through this my way.

As expected, there are lots of pink frothy things, like topiaries and other centerpieces, for bridal and baby showers. (Since this is the 1960's, yes, the order matters.)

Frankly, upon first seeing the cover, I had little hope for this old craft publication... Too much frilly pink. Even for this kitschy girl. Combined with the memories of seeing such frilly, yet faded, netting nightmares, I remembered that their true function seems to be the ability to retain dust. Grandma dusted, perhaps around her tea cup collection, but I'd actually seen her lift and shake the (once) pink topiary. But it still smelled and made me sneeze. Perhaps these nasty-netting things were the inspiration for early dusting tools...

Oh, Hazel, Hazel Pearson, founder of Hazel Pearson Handicrafts, what have you done?

Like the Rolling Stones, all this sickness and I could suck a...



2) Duck.

OoooOOoh, feather options!

(See what I mean? A feather duster.)

3) The obligatory Net Santa.



I thought Santa had some sort of fungal infection in his eyes, but after perusing the crafting instructions it seems that those large orbs are 'cheeks' not 'eyes'. The eyes, in fact, are actually nothing more than lashes... Go ahead, click and look at the larger scan if you don't believe me. So it's no wonder we are confused that the balls we see are not eyeballs.

All I know is, if I put that up during the Christmas holiday season, none of my kids would dare to stay up late and see him -- and be on the 'Naughty' list? Hyeell no.

But it gets worse.

4) Meet the candy-ass clown.


I don't just say that because of my dislike and fear of clowns (one clown did try to kill me), but I say it because this clown has netted body -- including his tush -- designed to be filled with candy.

Mmmm Mmm, dusty candy.

5) Up next, a ballerina -- and the more curious elephant.


I know I'm simple, but I'm confused by the two-sentence set of instructions:

For party-time fun "Pink Elephant, of white foam, is secured to a base trimmed with wide net ruffles. Pearlized grapes add a gay touch.

OK, so the pink elephant is made of white foam... Color issues aside, were there once just rows of elephant foam forms? (And try to say that quickly on the phone while frantic for such supplies.)

Call me crazy, but how low-brow was crafting then that a project had less steps than assembling something from IKEA? Wouldn't it just be easier, and more creative, to take juniors stuffed toy, wrap a ribbon or ruffle around it, and smack it down in the center of the table?

6) I won't lie to you. The only reason this next one is here is because I have a thing for storks. (See part of my stork collection here.)


7) I honestly did spare you pages of wedding & anniversary hearts, nosegays, and umbrellas, but these baby shower centerpieces needed to be seen.

Besides, 'highly flammable' and the obvious 'kitsch' tag, what else would you call these? They hold the same creepy fascination for me as taxidermy. And that means I might rubber-neck, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to make one.

Come to think of it, nominating yourself to do the shower decorations with this booklet in hand, and you might find yourself never having to do anything but bring chips to every gathering you attend -- for the rest of your life.

7a) What should be here is a page on how to make a table skirt of netting for a wedding reception. I didn't scan & post it because if you can't figure that out, well, I've got a paper bag for you to try to find your way out of.

8) Here we have a 'soap fish' and 'peacock soap' -- don't ask me why the names are the way they are... Perhaps it is because the fish is so simple, twist netting around a small soap and glue some googly-eyes on it (yeah, yeah, some sequins too), that the emphasis should be on the soap. Which would make the more elaborate peacock more for advanced netters. (Certainly more sophisticated than the table cloth.)



9) Next up is the the poodle. Don't get all excited now; I wasn't even going to share this scan with you. For some reason I just didn't think you'd be worthy of Lu-Lu The Poodle. If you've ever been in a thrift store you've seen lots of Lu-Lus who need homes... Do you have any idea how many Lu-Lus are euthanized each year because none of you adopt them?

But, there, beneath Lu-Lu was a loo-loo of another sort.


10) Yup, that's Charlie the Caterpillar. Isn't that sad? That someone would be so lacking in imagination they wouldn't be able to roll netting up and glue a face on it without instructions?

...But we aren't done yet. Not with crafty netting; not with sadness.

If you thought instructions for Charlie and a netting table cloth overlay were sad -- or even just 'filler' to get to 23 pages -- you've no idea what's next.

There, beneath the topiary...



11) The 'Peony Scouring Pad', no matter how high and fancy its pedestal is, is laugh-out-loud funny.

I know this isn't any different in design that the bath puffs we all use with our shower gel -- but not even Dove calls it a 'Peony'. And while that netting is scratchy, is it tougher than Chore Boy or steel wool? Really?

What a horrible, horrible shower gift. I buy a place setting or a high chair for this shower and I get this?!

May I trade it for your caterpillar, please? Because I don't want what's coming up.


12) I'm guessing just posting the phrase 'net monkey' here is going to result in some Internet searchers to be frustrated... I don't know what it means, but I'm pretty sure those darn kids do; and it probably isn't pretty. But then neither is this nylon netting monkey.

My brother-in-law says that any words ending in 'k e y' are funny (go ahead, say 'monkey' and 'donkey' and you'll see he's onto something there), but this monkey, by virtue of his 'net' status, is creepy. Worthy of display near any dead animal art -- or, perhaps, some would say, part of my creepy doll collection. But I just don't think I could put Net Monkey next to Big Toe Joe. Not and feel good about it, anyway.

13) Last, I'll leave you with Net Bunny. Note, he is not the Easter Bunny; one assumes that he has many more functions to attend & perform.



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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Craft-Scan Friday: Vintage One Evening Wood Projects

From a 1953 Deltagram, two projects you can make in one evening.



I love the shelf; but I believe that's not only because I own kitschy knick-knacks, but because of the kitschy knick-knacks shown in the photo.

The elephant ring toss is cute, so cute it "will amuse the older folks as well as the children." The suggested rings to toss are fruit jar rings, so while Mom may be a bit perturbed to find she's short a few rings at canning time (and who's mom isn't?) at least the walls won't be marked.

Thirteen More Bits 0 Paper Scans

Because I have boxes & boxes (and boxes) of ephemera & greeting cards (old paper) -- and because it's Thursday Thirteen...

13 More Scans Of Old Paper

The first three are vintage illustrations cut out of some publication or another. Two of the three had the poems on the back, and suggest a primer or other children's book. It could have been for really slow adults too -- I know I like them. But then, I am drawn to lovely old drawings and sing-song-y rhyme-y poems (and easily amused).

"A Fairy Went A-Marketing"





"The Snow-Fort"




Trades



OK, enough of the cute stuff.

When you get boxes of old greeting cards, most of them are Christmas cards. Some Most of them are 'retro' and annoying, not cool. So you have to kiss a lot of toads. This one struck me for its inefficiency.

The cover isn't very festive, with it's "Statement At Christmas" tome; and seeing the red mittened hand of Santa doesn't really help.



Inside we find a bland message, which, upon seeing it is a corporate card, makes more sense. No, it's no more festive; but we can forgive companies for not knowing how to be fun. What I cannot forgive is the stupid company name & 'signature'. Just "4 - 0 Cleaners"? How memorable.



If the commercial corporate card was boring, this next one is a hoot. Clearly the art work was created by hand and then printed in some quantity or other. "Merry Christmas Happy '56" from the king and queen -- of cards. You know, the playing kind of cards -- see the suits? Maybe this was specially made for their couples canasta league -- or bridge group. Could be poker. Who knows.



The kicker is the inside quote, written by hand. Which is sort of ironic...

No longer able to write a verse
Even the coloring gets worse
But we're glad we're still able to say
'Have a Joyous Christmas Day"

Oh, Jane and Ray, you're such cards! You ought to be dealt with.



I know I said I was done with the cute stuff and that you're going to see this cute vintage elephant card and yell at me. But hold on there, missy. This isn't just a cute elephant card; this is a vintage 'Secret Pal' elephant card -- complete with a printed 'X' for the mystery signature. I know if I was a Republication, I'd keep it a secret.



Oh yeah, I can hear the Republicans getting their knickers in a knot -- and the cute lovers are up in arms for mocking an innocent baby elephant. Want to get back at me? Write a pithy (spelled p-i-t-h-y, not p-i-s-s-y) comment. Maybe I'll give you an award. Maybe I'll just stalk you on the Internet and send you this card...

Now that you're all k