Little Van Goes

I wrote about my new-to-me Little Van Goes.

Flintstones Draw Rings

Spotted this "Draw Rings" set at the thrift store today. I didn't buy them, so if you can't find them on eBay -- and you need them -- ping me and maybe I can go get them for you. That's what pickers do; they find the stuff other people want.

Doodle Weakly? Then Doodle Weekly!

Doodle Week is now at The Ungulate.


The first week's challenge is "dollies." And you certainly can't do any worse than my pitiful little doll. So go ahead, doodle; I double-doll dare you.

Mustache Menagerie!

Movember is, apparently, a big deal in the mustache community: the Movember foundation uses the month of November for fundraising to help men's health issues, particularly testicular and prostate diseases. Pepsi has provided this helpful guide to mustache creation, appearing like polystyrene model parts on sprues:

You may recognize that the ad appeared in Maxim; yes, I have one of those fun 'for professionals' free subscriptions — what's your excuse for reading Maxim, hmmm? I already have a mustache, which is my excuse for not using the promised 'time-lapse' Facebook mustashe-growing app, which I was unable to find.

Anyhow, even being a woman is no excuse for not having facial hair. The appropriately-named I Made You A Beard is fully and completely ready to undertake the task of providing women a beard of their very own:


Would it be wrong of me to think women in Crayola-colored yarn beards are totally hot? Theoretically, I mean, if somebody were to think such a thing, that is. I mean, if somebody spent all day thinking at great length about what it would be like to kiss a woman wearing one of these - again, theoretically - what, I , well, if that...never mind, I'm not sure where I'm going with this thought process.

Anyhow, woman aren't the only mustacheless people to benefit from a fake mustache. That other kind of people: dogs.
Yes, dogs can participate in Movember by gnawing on the rubber ball end of the Humunga Stache. This is provided that you can get the dog to chew on it the right way; one of our dogs is horribly stupid, and would probably injure herself trying to use the toy improperly. The Humunga Stache appears to be only available in the UK, hence the British bulldog who appears to have lost his pith helmet and monocle while on a tiger hunt in darkest Burma.

Regretsy

Etsy is a great place to find hand-made folk and fine arts, but - as you'd expect pretty much anywhere that people can post things without supervision - sometimes the products are a bit...off the wall:

According to Regretsy, the home for horrible Etsy products, the squirrel-fish taxidermy above could be purchased for the low, low price of $350.00. I'll bet, if I comparison-shopped, I could buy a freakin' crate of non-fishy taxidermied squirrels, which I could then superglue fish heads on to. And I realize, well, if I am going through so much work to try and reproduce, en masse, the insane work of art above, I should probably just pay the guy $350.

Craft-Scan Friday: Should Coat-Hooks Be "Leafed" Alone?

My grandma totally had old plastic leaf coasters like these shown in this how-to from Popular Mechanics, June, 1957.

Craft-Scan Friday: Women Are Delighted By Shills

Err, Shillcraft -- women are delighted by Shillcraft.

Bacon & Eggs On Your Fridge

By Kids, For Kids, crochet patterns to make bacon & egg magnets. (Patterns are free for registered members at Lion Brand Yarns; registration is free.)

Are You A Fashion Puppet?

Looking for stuff for Fabric Swatch Fridays, I found this gem: retro puppet-print fabric. (Since the auction is closing today, I figured I shouldn't wait til Friday to post it.)

Craft-Scan Friday: "It's A Thrilling Fad Of The Month Selection!"

I just love truth in advertising! Admitting "the lovely Ballerina Boudoir Doll" was a fad was one giant step forward for humanity. But we went two steps back when we learned that so many would be seduced by the concept...



Ad from the February 1952 issue of The Workbasket; a magazine which was very fond of presenting advertorials as content.

Craft-Scan Friday: Before There Was The BeDazzler...

There was the Spanglette.



Ad found in the March 1951 issue of Profitable Hobbies.

Craft-Scan Friday: Make Amusing Table Favors From Fruits & Vegetables

Mrs. George C. Wagoner of Glendale, California, must have never been told by her momma not to play with her food; here she show how to make a tiny orchestra from hairpins, paper clips, modeling clay, and a basket of common fruits and vegetables. Talk about your anthropomorphic fruits and veggies!



Found inside this vintage issue of Modern Woman Magazine.

You'd Have To Be Drunk To Wear 'Em

This is what I'd call a Holy Grail Kitsch Find: a vintage pair of "happy sloshed pipe cleaner men earrings". Dude, I know what we're making next Girl's Night... Because it probably helps to be tipsy to make 'em too.

Macramé A Lampshade

From Macramé with Potpourri (Hazel Pearson Handicrafts, 1981), instructions for making this um, "spectacularly kitschy" spice jar lamp with macraméd shade. (Here's info on how to make basic macramé knots from the same book.)

Clothespin Desk Organizer

The kids will be home for the holidays -- why not keep 'em busy? First with the laundry, then making this clothespin letter holder.



Also in that first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).

Flower Over-Power

Ticky-tacky paper flowers cheerfully scare away goth girls and other nightmares. Or maybe they cause nightmares. I know Fire Marshal Bill would see this as literal over-kill, what with paper flowers being so flammable.



In any case, if you really need instructions for it let me know. But it's cutting paper, people; not rocket surgery -- so I may mock you when sending the info.

Also in that first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).

Craft-Scan Friday: Twin Martian Dolls

From McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring/Summer 1971, instructions for making these twin Martian dolls. I'm in lurve with the see-thru plastic dress on the female Martian.

Make A Mammy (& Pappy) Racist Utensil Rack

Go ahead, I double-dog dare you.



As a white girl, I don't think I should even own these instructions and pattern from a vintage set of Coping Saw Carpentry For Boys & Girls cards... As I've said, Black Americana isn't something I feel good about collecting myself.

Whoopie, if you're reading this, I'll gladly send this to you for your collection. Free, of course.

Like Birthday Hats For Jesus

Homemade Santa hats, circa 1960s.



Via Flickr.

Pixies: Guardians Of PJs

A cute elf sits on the cover of the first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).





Turns out he is not an elf, but rather both a pixie and a pajama bag. Click the images to get the patterns & instructions (I tired to color correct the pattern page, but that's the best I could get it). If you make any pixie pj bags, I'd love to see 'em!




I put the skirt instructions for crocheting the long red hostess here -- I'd love to see those if you make them too.

Dad Says He Tired Of Ties As Gifts?

Well, you can always make him kitschy place to put them.




Instructions and pattern from a vintage set of Coping Saw Carpentry For Boys & Girls cards. You can find nicer patterns and craft project instructions at my other blog, Things Your Grandmother Knew too.

Utterly Knitable

Running out of Christmas gift ideas? Don't have a cow -- knit a cow!

Vinyl Kraftwerks

Hopefully you won't be melting any actual Kraftwerk vinyl (it's worth quite a bit more than this), but find yourself a Sing Along With Mitch and make yourself something pretty. I'm sure my daughter, who walks along the edge of Gothness in her fashion, wants to make some of these:



Making strips out of vinyl, bending them into a bracelet, and adding baubles is so very 1980s, ultra-retro. When we were messing around with melting records this summer, cutting them briefly crossed my mind, but apparently it's easier and more useful than I thought. But a paper-cutter? Ingenious! Metafilter has a bunch of other projects, quite a few more things than just bowls.

Out Of Macaroni?

Paint & glue odd metal bits instead.



From McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring/Summer 1971.

Nothing Warms Them Up Like Baked Goods

Girls Cupcake Scarf Pattern from Jaybird Designs.

Pac Man This

Looking for appliques for an article at Things Your Grandmother Knew (a new blog where I focus more on the vintage living & practical home ec tips & less on the kitsch and snark), I found this pattern for making Pac Man appliques.

You Know What Sucks?

Not Mia's first attempt at "narrative embroidery":



Which makes me think my first attempt to narrate via needlework would also be be a hand -- only with one finger raised, as a political statement. Make of that what you will.

Pixies On Toadstools & Whiskers On Kittens

Hannah not only made them, but offers pdf instructions.


Nothing goes better with pixies on toadstools than whiskers on kittens (I know you're singing along!). We'd prefer you had your own cats who would brush their whiskers against the toadstool doorstops, but if not... Here's a vintage kitty -- with whiskers -- pattern; some assembly required.

Scrap Rug Fun - Doggy Tissue Cover

From the February, 1971, issue of Pack-O-Fun, instructions to make a doggie tissue box cover. (This is actually practical too because cutting up old rugs is sure to make you -- and others -- sneeze.)

The Story Of The Bear Hug Wiggler; Or Why I'm Not Allowed To Go Out Of The House Alone

We went to BK the other night, hubby, middle girl and I. The kids' toys are Crayola toys. Inside the toy's packaging they always have the insert with all the other toys, so kids whine to come back for more. I looked at it and was intrigued by the "Bear Hug" Wiggler.

I have a thing for bears, and a natural human disposition to laziness, so I wondered, is this thing a bear you put a crayon into and when you wind it up, it draws for you? If so, I need one.

There was no explanation or description on the insert, so I went to the counter to ask the pimply-faced boy standing there. Our interaction was brief and went like this:

Me: "Hi, can you show me the bear wiggler?"

Him: "Huh?"

Me: "Can I see your bear wiggler?"

Him: *blank stare*

Me: "Your bear wiggler -- the Crayola toy."

Him: *digging blindly beneath the counter in what I can only assume is a bin of kids' meal toys -- occasionally looking into the assumed box then back at me*

Me: *waiting hopefully*

Him: "I have no idea what that is. I have no idea what that is."

Me: "Uh, OK, thanks anyway."

I walk to the door to meet the waiting family, whereupon my hubby, sardonic eyebrow raised, says, "Probably not appropriate to ask a guy to show him his 'bare wiggler' in public."

Doh!

All that, and I still don't know what a "Bear Hug" Wiggler is.

But I'm pretty sure I still want one. Now I have a great cougar story to with it.

Clone Helmet Wars?

A Homemade Clone Helmet for your from Mustard Mellon:

I know what you’re thinking: “What a clever duct tape replica of an Episode 2 red clone trooper helmet!” That is what it looks like, but really I was more inspired by my dad’s old Mandalorian helmet from his days as a training sergeant during the Clone Wars.

Dimple Dot Kleenex Box Cover Kit

I never knew they had an official name.


Seeing this ad reminds me of when I was young, someone gave this to my folks as a gift -- :eek: -- and our dog used to bark at like she was rabid (the dog, not the Dimple Doll). My folks would put it away, and then every now and then bring it out to see if the dog still hated it; she did. Eventually, the dog got a hold of it and destroyed it.

Whenever I see them at sales, I want to buy them and set them all in a row on a shelf -- maybe even fill and entire book shelf with them, in all the colors and variations.

I did get one once, but sent it to my sister; one part memory, one part freak factor (she hates dolls so opening a box with a doll head, well, that would be super freaky). But no affordable ones since.

Feel free to send me some, if you don't want them.

As If Sticking Pins Into The Baby Isn't Bad Enough...

There are bugs to place on him too.


Screaming Oliver reproduction pin cushion and bugs (by Cats Paw Doll Accessories), available here.

High-Five Fridays (Stuff We Dug This Week)

Want to give high-fives too? Sure you do!

1) If you don't know how to thrift (and frankly, that frightens us), check out welcome to Thriftland.

2) Everyone needs a paint by number farting unicorn -- or knows someone who does! ...Maybe that's just me?

3) Other things we make the kids do. (Don't call the authorities; they like it, I swear!)

4) Aliens & arson in 1935. (Strange Canadians!)

5) What do you do with a Mingering Mike? (Not sure I'd comply.)