"Mr. Frog led the angry beaver around to the front of his shop..."

So begins "Everyone Is Happy", from The Tale Of Ferdinand Frog.

Bet You Didn't See This Coming

A fortune-telling elf for your lapel.

Looking Forward To Spring? Maybe Not With This Old Lawn Sprinkler

Via Collectors' Quest, an old clown lawn sprinkler:

It was in Indiana that I found this unusual lawn sprinkler clown made in Defiance, Ohio. Its tin body is held on a cast iron base, and one arm is articulated, holding the hose.

I Can Haz Cheeze Pleaze?

A vintage rubber squeaky mouse from DeadlyVintageSweets.

You Could Be "Shirt Changed"

Unless you read "Good Blousekeeping" -- so warns the March 1954 issue of Silhouette magazine, a promotional booklet for Hollands Dry Cleaners.

Did You Do "This Of That"?

As promised, the answers to the "This Or That" crossword puzzle:



How did you do?

Tainted Love

Cool Bad Girl gear to hold your ID, Nano, business cards etc.; via Relationship Underarm Stick.

Brrinng! Someone's On The Retro Hotline

Crosley Classic Kitchen Phone, via Retro Chic.

Three dollar signs for THAT??!?

marriedtothesea.com

You Got Massage Oil On My Sander!

...oh, wait, that's on purpose. In 1956, Dremel produced this "$14.85 brain-child," which makes the normally male-centric tool appealing to the lady of the house:
The tool, "when fitted with sandpapers, completes your handycraft projects. But when you add a massage pad, you can smooth out aching muscles" -- wait, it gets better -- "at a rate of 14,400 strokes per minute". I'm no massage conniseur, but the fastest massager I found online maxed out at 8,000 oscillations per minute. Dremel doesn't mess around. But, make sure you don't mix up the sanding pad with the massage pad...at that speed, a simple mistake could cause instant death. No gears, no brushes, no oil...no mercy. Found in the Jan 1956 issue of The Family Handyman.

The DECCA Navigator

Inside that 1961 BEA "About Your Flight" Booklet.

Tin Man Tick-Tocks, But No Word On His Heart

This vintage tin man pin has his clock belly facing 'up' so that you can tell the time while wearing him.

Mess Around With One Of The "Mediums"

From that Scholastic Crosswords for Teen Agers book, one of the "medium" puzzles called This Or That:



Click for a larger scan; I'll post the answers in a few days.

Retro Turquoise Smoking & Magazine Stand

This is too cool for words:

It has a hanging magazine holder, a center stamped template for glasses, cigarettes, matches and a multi colored glass lined area. The turquoise painted portions are wood while the pole is a brass colored metal. It is 18 1/2" tall, 15 1/2" wide and 12 1/2" deep.

Far Out, Way Out, Or Way-Way Out?

Amazing super psychedelic disco platforms -- for tripping in all it's various forms.

These and more retro platform shoes at Here's Looking Like You, Kid.

She Can't Believe She's In Reader's Digest Either

Ad from a 1968 Reader's Digest magazine; via Flickr.

Kitten Soft?

It could just be me... But is this Lady Buxton Leather ad for The Regal Set suggesting that the "touching story" regarding this leather's softness is that it's made from real kittens? ...I guess we have to touch it know, but I'm not going to.

Ferdinand Frog & Friends

The decorated endpages of The Tale Of Ferdinand Frog, Sleepy-Time Tales, by Arthur Scott Bailey, illustrations by Diane Petersen; Grosset & Dunlap, copy; 1918. As you can see, some child has colored in the characters a bit.

For $265 You Can Have A Black Boy Hold Your Mink Closed

OK, so it's a vintage enameled fur clip; does that make it any better? And why does he have dice? I wouldn't trust any gambler to hold my mink -- that might be why they're called "stoles".

Magic Trick Fan

An ad in an 1890 issue of Peterson's Magazine.

Have A Coke & A Smile

Seeing as old Coke came with more than a glimpse of thigh, I can see why New Coke just couldn't make it.

Using Peer Pressure To Hook Teens On Crossword Puzzles

The back cover of Scholastic's Crosswords for Teen Agers not only uses the "C'mon, join the crowd!" to push the crack of word games that is "crossword puzzles", but employs sexual dance euphemisms to lure the teens in:

Dozens of delightful puzzles

Tailored to your taste...and your tempo

Pick up speed as your do along:

Enjoy yourself with the "easies"

or...

Mess around with the "mediums"

or...

Tangle with the "toughies"

Crosswords for Teen Agers, by Murray Rockowitz, copyright 1958 (TAB Books, published by Scholastic), 6th printing, May 1963.

Vintage Geek Link Round Up

Vintage Goodness helps us all declare our Vintage Geek Pride.

Speaking of geeks, Michael Duff made me smile with his comment on the definition of "geek":

The Urban Dictionary defines “geek” as: The people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult.

All this really proves is that the Urban Dictionary is written by geeks.

Past Perfect Vintage gives us history lessons on the inaugural dress of former First Ladies.

Cheetah Velour knows her stuff. The proof lies in the stuff she didn't buy -- and with good reason!

Crafting geeks, I wonder how well you know your pine cones!

You'd Have To Be Drunk To Wear 'Em

This is what I'd call a Holy Grail Kitsch Find: a vintage pair of "happy sloshed pipe cleaner men earrings". Dude, I know what we're making next Girl's Night... Because it probably helps to be tipsy to make 'em too.

F Troop Postcard 1967

An over-sized postcard from Harrah's in Reno promoting TV's "F Troop" (Forrest Tucker, Larry Storch, Ken Berry) in the Headliner Room. Back promos future talent: Don Adams (with mini pic), Jim Nabors, George Kirby/Kim Siters, Bobby Darin (with mini pic), Debbie Reynolds, & Wayne Newton. (I've got a few of these; if you're interested, make me an offer.)

Don't Believe Mousetraps Hurt?

Maybe you'll believe this vintage Elzac ceramic mouse pin:

Intro To The Dean Martin Show (April 1969)

How To Talk To The Soda Jerk

From Calling All Girls, December, 1945.

Vintage black rhinestone poodle pin with red rhinestone nose.

Little Black Sambo Fashions

Yes, you read that right; these are Little Black Sambo fashions.

Vintage 1950's dress, scarf and hat ensemble.

Some-Bunny Ears Ursula Andress

Ma Bell Rings Yer Bell

Calling from the 70's, this "MA BELL...Your Bells Won't Ring Without Us!" tee shirt.

Baby Midget Velvet Grip Hose Supporter

Vintage hose support for baby that's just like daddy's; I have nothing else to say. Except that as any parent will tell you, baby will remove the garter -- along with a sock and shoe -- whenever he wants to. Especially out shopping in a crowded mall.



The ad was found in a 1921 issue of Modern Priscilla.

Macramé A Lampshade

From Macramé with Potpourri (Hazel Pearson Handicrafts, 1981), instructions for making this um, "spectacularly kitschy" spice jar lamp with macraméd shade. (Here's info on how to make basic macramé knots from the same book.)

That 70's Furniture

Furniture never looked so bendy and so uncomfortable.



Via Conde Nast.

Good Night, Nurse?

Back in September I promised I'd be reading some of my retro nurse novels; well, I just posted a review of Night Club Nurse at Collectors' Quest.

Reach Out And Touch Someone

1970 ad campaign tee shirt from AT&T (Bell System) phone company.

Hey 12 Year Olds, Knit Underpants For Sasha & Gregor

Knitting Know-How 14, Specially for 12-year-olds, pattern & instructions found in Golden Hands "In 75 Weekly Parts", Part 14, Vol. 1. (Last copyright date, 1971.)

How To Serve Kitschy Kitschy Food

Inside the vintage EHP Waterless Cookbook, a scary clown dish sitting on a Popsicle-type trivet.

You Always Wanted To Blast Her Skirt Off

Via Tad Too Tan For Taupe I found Zombie Kitten and these fantastic, out of these rocket skirts!

Most Awesome Family Portrait Ever

Billy Dee Williams, Drew Barrymore, Ann-Margret and Bonnie Franklin, from Life, 1984.

Seahorses Do Not Have Legs

But are there sea-zebras?



Leila Hyams & zebra sans gams at the beach, via Flickr.

When Snow Globes Attack

OK, so snow globes aren't (as far as this report goes) "attacking" but they are igniting fires. "That's Hot," says Paris Hilton, who herself had purchased 17 of the $100 Hallmark snow globes "because she could".

New Year, New You: Workout With Dumbells

You can do it like Crawford...


I prefer Russell's method myself.