Ring-Ring! Retro Phone Bags Are Calling!

If you missed it last time, here's another 70's telephone purse -- in which the phone actually works. (In case you don't know Jack, or don't remember when phones were plugged in things, you'll need access to a phone jack to make this old bag phone work.)



If that's not a-cord-ing to your taste, how about a retro 60's handbag decorated with coiled phone cords? (Disclaimer: Found in my parents' eBay listings.)

A Peignoir Fit For Mrs. Kravitz

Curlers, lipstick, and Bewitched neighbor each sold separately; via Etsy.

Mary Tyler Moore Mannequin?

You bet your sweet Petrie!



Via Flickr.

When Andy Warhol Speaks

Everybody listens.


Andy Warhol, Edie Sedgwick, and Entourage, New York, 1965; Steve Schapiro photographer.

Contest Alert

This month Antique Trader is giving away a copy of Price Guide to Holt-Howard Collectibles and Related Ceramicware of the 50s & 60s. You can enter here, once a day for the entire month of June.

The Case Of The Pirate Fashion Photographer

I'm no Erle Stanley Gardner, or even one of the Brett Hallidays; but I'm pretty sure it was all the striped ties which caused male fashion photographer Marco to gauge his own eye out.


Via Flickr.

I Get The Raggedy Ann Wig, But...

What's up with those foam shoes?



Found at Flickr, Woman's Day magazine, July 1969.

I Can't Hear You; Your Makeup Is Too Loud

A 1965 Max Factor ad for Hi-Fi makeup. (Cosmo, February, 1965)

What's Verrry Intersting?

Find out more about this retro Laugh-In lunch box at Kitsch Slapped, my new blog at Twolia.

The DECCA Navigator

Inside that 1961 BEA "About Your Flight" Booklet.

Mess Around With One Of The "Mediums"

From that Scholastic Crosswords for Teen Agers book, one of the "medium" puzzles called This Or That:



Click for a larger scan; I'll post the answers in a few days.

She Can't Believe She's In Reader's Digest Either

Ad from a 1968 Reader's Digest magazine; via Flickr.

Kitten Soft?

It could just be me... But is this Lady Buxton Leather ad for The Regal Set suggesting that the "touching story" regarding this leather's softness is that it's made from real kittens? ...I guess we have to touch it know, but I'm not going to.

Using Peer Pressure To Hook Teens On Crossword Puzzles

The back cover of Scholastic's Crosswords for Teen Agers not only uses the "C'mon, join the crowd!" to push the crack of word games that is "crossword puzzles", but employs sexual dance euphemisms to lure the teens in:

Dozens of delightful puzzles

Tailored to your taste...and your tempo

Pick up speed as your do along:

Enjoy yourself with the "easies"

or...

Mess around with the "mediums"

or...

Tangle with the "toughies"

Crosswords for Teen Agers, by Murray Rockowitz, copyright 1958 (TAB Books, published by Scholastic), 6th printing, May 1963.

F Troop Postcard 1967

An over-sized postcard from Harrah's in Reno promoting TV's "F Troop" (Forrest Tucker, Larry Storch, Ken Berry) in the Headliner Room. Back promos future talent: Don Adams (with mini pic), Jim Nabors, George Kirby/Kim Siters, Bobby Darin (with mini pic), Debbie Reynolds, & Wayne Newton. (I've got a few of these; if you're interested, make me an offer.)

Intro To The Dean Martin Show (April 1969)

Good Night, Nurse?

Back in September I promised I'd be reading some of my retro nurse novels; well, I just posted a review of Night Club Nurse at Collectors' Quest.

New Year? Not-So-Much

Can't you just hear him saying something like, "Gee, honey, I'd love to help; but you know how clumsy I am in the kitchen... You'd probably be happier if you just took care of this by yourself."



1960 New Years illustration via Flickr.

Modern Woman Monday: Wippette -- Wippette Real Good

A kitschy retro store display.



Via eBay.

Skin Cancer For Christmas? You Shouldn't Have!

A holiday ad from 1967 for the GE Tanity Case -- a vanity case, but with everything for a tan: sunlamp, holder, eye shields & sun cream.

Clothespin Desk Organizer

The kids will be home for the holidays -- why not keep 'em busy? First with the laundry, then making this clothespin letter holder.



Also in that first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).

Paper Crowns For Jesus

More paper birthday hats for baby Jesus; these apparently worn in public, at a restaurant.



Via Flickr.

Flower Over-Power

Ticky-tacky paper flowers cheerfully scare away goth girls and other nightmares. Or maybe they cause nightmares. I know Fire Marshal Bill would see this as literal over-kill, what with paper flowers being so flammable.



In any case, if you really need instructions for it let me know. But it's cutting paper, people; not rocket surgery -- so I may mock you when sending the info.

Also in that first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).

Buying A Christmas Tree?

Make sure it's taller than your bouffant.



Via Flickr.

Christmas Dey Curls

As in Christmas curls worn by Susan Dey.

Because I'm A Sucker For These Mod Space-Age Head Fashions...

I say "head things" or "head fashions" because you can' just call this sculpted silver jersey helmet a hat.



Via Hiro Fashion Photographs 1966 at Couture Allure.

"I Never Thought I’d See So Much Purity Of Pattern"

A pervy come-on of a sales-pitch from a ladies' clothing salesman:

I never thought I’d see so much purity of pattern. Absolute rightness. I must please you, and I think I can. Don’t fail me now, because I may never trust myself with a woman again, ever. Try it on. I’m sure, absolutely, I can please you. Show me. Wait for me.

From 1965's The Knack... And How To Get It reviewed here at Here's Looking Like You, Kid.

Into The 60s With Air BP

Another ad from inside 1961 BEA "About Your Flight" Booklet.

Like Birthday Hats For Jesus

Homemade Santa hats, circa 1960s.



Via Flickr.

Pixies: Guardians Of PJs

A cute elf sits on the cover of the first issue of Good Housekeeping Needlecraft magazine (Fall-Winter, 1968-1969).





Turns out he is not an elf, but rather both a pixie and a pajama bag. Click the images to get the patterns & instructions (I tired to color correct the pattern page, but that's the best I could get it). If you make any pixie pj bags, I'd love to see 'em!




I put the skirt instructions for crocheting the long red hostess here -- I'd love to see those if you make them too.

Retro Alfa Romeo Ad

French ad in 1961 Maxim's Booklet

Everything's Better When It's Kitsch On A Ritz

Retro ad for Ritz Crackers from the June 1968 issue of Family Circle via Flickr.

What's A Pink Pussycat Worth?

I traded ephemera from the Pink Pussycat to Silent Porn Star (NWS, duh) for some magic beans -- the magic part is 'when' they will arrive *wink* Now she owes me. Big time.

The Sands Hotel First Annual Domino Tournament

It was held the weekend of April 28-30, 1967. I know -- not because I went to the tournament; I'm not that kind of loser. I know because I have the brochure, complete with registration card. Yup, I'm that kind of loser.



Want it? Make me an offer.

Just Dotty

No, these are not soft squishy helmets for those who already have brain damage, these are stylish Space Age Fashions from the 1960's.


While Jaynie tells us how to wear our hair with hats, such information is irrelevant with these polka dotted wonders. The good news is that even when your mom cut your hair wrong, no one would be able to see it under these.

This post is dedicated to the HATtastic Miss Janey *wink*

Your Seat Is Not A Flotation Device

A page in the 1961 BEA "About Your Flight" booklet, illustrating how to use your life jacket -- stowed under your seat.

Girdle In A Can

Just like Pringles, Playtex once put their products in cans. Which makes sense because many women hear the same popping noise when they take their girdles off. ...Or is that just me?

Remember When You Could Smoke On A Plane?

Me neither. But this page inside my 1961 BEA "About Your Flight" Booklet reminds us not only could you smoke on an airplane, but that airlines would actually supply the smokes.

Bertha & Tina Postcard

A cute postcard, unless you find out the truth -- which is more than you likely wanted to know about Bertha & Tina.

From my travel and tourism collection.

It's Not My Mom

This looks like my mom, but it's not; this lady's name was Jeri and she was famous. I don't know her. But I do know my mom.



It's a small photo, just like the ones you give away to your friends in school. Only I didn't get this from Jeri herself (I told you I don't know her); I got it with some other vintage photos of famous people. That explains why it's not signed on the back with a note for me to 'stay sweet' (which I did) or how fun I was in math class (which I was).

If you know who this lady is -- even if she's not your mom -- please let me know.

They Made A Tape For That

This tip from a reader, published in The Farmer (Dakota Edition, September 3, 1960), advises the use of cellophane tape for trimming bangs.



But they made a tape for that. I remember it distinctly as "the pink tape with the zig-zag ends which looked like it was cut with a pinking shears"; which meant it was very difficult to find on the Internet. (You're welcome, surfers who are also searching by such memories.)



I think my mom used that tape to make those curls by her ears which were oh-so-fashionable in the 60's. Those curls are called "guiche" -- and apparently each type of curl had a name. So now you can identify which kind of curl it was that that little girl has in the middle of her forehead. (And pray it's not The Fishhook!)

Funny thing is, I don't remember my mom using the tape to cut our hair... And our bangs were often a crooked mess, usually running in a diagonal line along our foreheads. Ah, good times.

Dad said she put a bowl on our heads to give us a trim and that she never bothered to monitor & straighten the bowl. I don't remember that. I just cringe when I see the photos.

If you pester me, I may make the time to find & scan a few for you.

Mail-Order Monkeys

Man, before the internet and the ability to download 'virtual' crap, you could get all sorts of real things via mail-order:


Yes, squirrel monkeys could actually be mailed to you, in a tiny little box (sundress not included), and you could have a best friend with a prehensile tail. I mean, other than Roger Coulter from 5th period, because he's just creepy. The squirrel monkey was guaranteed delivered alive, so if a dead monkey appeared in your mailbox, you had some sort of recourse. If you wanted two Minneapolis monkeys -- two monkeys!?! -- you could save a fivespot on the deal. Hopefully, you'll be well-prepared for its arrival; otherwise you might end up with angry parents and an arm full of stitches. My ad came from a 1963 issue of McCall's Needlework & Crafts.

Reflecting On The Halloween Safety Concerns Of 1960

Via hubby's Infomercantile blog, comes this lovely reminder to be safe on Halloween.

Never Too Much Gay Head

I had to drop another 50 cents, even when hubby thought we already had this -- because you can never have too much Gay Head.



Now, you may be thinking that Dear Gay Head: Letters from the Mail Box answered by Gay Head (aka Margaret Hauser) is just another silly out-dated etiquette book for teens. Well, it is. But that's precisely why I love it. Exhibit A:

Q. I wanted to ask a certain girl for a date, but when I talked to a couple of the fellows in the gang about her, they told me she's a "square." I hardly know her, since she's a grade behind me at school, but I still think she's cute. Would I be foolish to go ahead and ask her for a date anyway?

A. You'd be more foolish if you didn't ask her for a date! Changing your mind just because a couple of the fellows said she's a "square" isn't straight thinking at all. Besides, don't you like to make your own decisions?

Why did the other boys call this girl a "square"? Because she doesn't interest them? Because they heard it from someone else? Whatever their reasons, it doesn't necessarily follow that your opinion would be the same as theirs. The only fair way to judge a person is to get to know him or her for yourself.

"Labeling" people is a habit to avoid. Who has the right to say what's genuine and what's synthetic about another's personality? Everyone has good qualities and bad qualities; all individuals have different interests and characteristics. And people value their friends for different reasons, too.

Develop your own beliefs and opinions, and reject unfounded hand-me-downs. You'll not only avoid hurting others needlessly, but you'll gain new respect for yourself.

Amazingly hip, that Gay Head. Note the troublesome areas she blithely skipped as she seamlessly melded teen lingo and lecture so that those kids would really hear her. Not to mention the homosexual double entendres!

Describe your favorite Gay Head parts and maybe I'll toss an award your way.

Shoulda Been A Beagle

Wendy should have been a beagle. Her father, drunk and cruel, would tell her how she would have been smarter, prettier, and would find a rich man and get out of that hell-hole...if only she had been a beagle. A beagle, certainly, but Wendy? No, not Wendy.

Wendy's actual story is devoid of family cruelty, according to a 1969 Women's Household magazine:

"Our dog, Wendy was given to us about four years ago. We were told that she was a six month old beagle. The vet said she was a three months old "you name it" and she proceeded to grow and grow! Her tail is almost a lethal weapon and she delights in wagging it in circles."

Oh, she should have been a beagle, but she ended up being something else, big, clumsy, easily amused. She should have been a beagle -- things would have turned out differently.

Look Maw...No Anemia!

Lucky for Wilbur the Pig, Charlotte had minored in veterinarian medicine during her years at Wellesley, and was able to save his life by outlining, in her web, a week-long regiment of iron supplements to help his fading health. This is from an ad for anti-pig-anemia medication in 1960. Piglet anemia is a big deal for hog raisers, and in the '60s they used Armidexan, an iron-dextran compound that isn't marketed anymore. Armidexan was produced by Armour Pharmaceuticals, and any meat-lover should make this connection: Armour and Company was king of pre-packaged meats for much of the twentieth century. Tasty, tasty, non-anemic meats.

Dad Always Used To Make Jokes About "The Naughty Nurse"

I'm pretty sure these old nurse paperbacks have good nurses in them, but at 50 cents each I couldn't pass 'em up... Now that the kids are back to school I plan on killing a few hours reading them just be be sure. And that feels really naughty.

What Could Be Bedda Than Hedda?

Hedda Get Bedda, one of the American Character Whimsie series dolls made in 1961, is a three-faced doll.



You turn the knob on the top of her non-removable bonnet to see all the faces/phases of her disease.



Creepy, ey? This doll would send my sister into deep psychological scare.

According to DollInfo.com, these dolls were marketed to the pre-teens and teenagers who were getting "too old for baby dolls".

If anyone can move past the two-faced to the three-faced, it's pre-teen and teenage girls.

Of Pink Elephants That Roll Through Your Life

I found this pink elephant at a thrift store this weekend -- and it reminded me of the real pink elephants in collecting.


And yes, Jolly Jumbo (circa 1961) is for sale. (The glass "marble" wheels aren't the only way this pink elephant is movin' on through...) But you don't have to buy mine; someone else has one like it listed on eBay. Maybe you'll score.

Big Dreams Of The Big-Eyed

You've heard of Big Eyed Art, right? I never owned any big-eyed art, but I did have a crying basset dog bank that I sorely want back.


(Feel free to bid on it and send it to me.)

But did you know there was also a big-eyed doll in the 60's -- complete with tear?



Little Miss No Name by Hasbro Toys (1965) was designed by Deet D'Andrade. Little Miss No Name wore a burlap dress, had a hand made for begging, and that large plastic tear... I'm guessing I never heard of her because few little girls wanted to play adopt the homeless begging orphan (Little Orphan Annie had a lovely red dress -- and too much spunk to let herself go like that). Fewer still wanted to plan & play a day in the life of a pitiful waif (also probably why the Kate Moss dolls never came to fruition).

But I want her.

I'm guessing when I find her, she'll be more expensive that replacing my old retro sad dog bank... But it won't stop me from fancying the two, together, in my office.

It's better to have big dreams of big eyed art -- and be left with a giant plastic tear -- then to never have dreamed at all.

Sshh... It's Contraband

An ad that ran in the UK for the 1968 Contraband Pantee -- yup, two "e"s. It smuggles years off your figure -- presumably then they and the bulges are stowed away on some pirate ship where they don't care if a gal jiggles or how old she is; it only matters that she's a gal.

Vroom Vroom

Preparing my CQ quiz, where you are to guess the car make, mode, year and the film or TV show it appeared in, I found plenty of Javelins -- which I have the serious hots for.




Thanks to these guys & gals who not only watch the films and shows for cars but take screen shots and identify and document them at the Internet Movie Cars Database, we can enjoy an entire page of AMC Javelins in movies and TV series. (If you love Javelins as I do, you may also wish to see pages/categories for AMC AMX Javelin in movies and TV series, AMC AMX in movies and TV series -- and all AMC vehicle listings.)

Of course, you may prefer another maker/model... Here's the Internet Movie Cars Database list of all vehicle makes.

Choo-Choo Charlie & Me

We love Good and Plenty!



Via Flickr.

Hooray! Whee! For Chef Boy-ar-dee!

Still on my quest for more information about this ad, I discovered Chef Boyardee was real. Who knew?

Back When Paper Publishing Had Profits To Spare

You know there had to be BIG money in publishing magazines back in 1960 when The Saturday Evening Post gave sent you a bowling ball in the mail just for soliciting four subscriptions.



I know we're talking 1960's postage, but still -- it's a freakin' bowling ball.

It would have been cheaper to mail folks a voucher along with the authorization, but I guess they made enough money from the advertisers -- the ones I mock here relentlessly.

It's April 30, 1960; Do You Know Where You Are?

From The Saturday Evening Post, comes the double-dog-dare, "Where Do You Think You Are?"

East or West, North or South, each of the distinctive areas above appears on the road map of a single state. There is, as the saying goes, "no place like it." Can you identify the states?

Harley P. Cook

Think you know your 1960's maps? (Or perhaps it is more accurate to say 1950's maps...) Maybe you're just a smarty pants. Whatever. Post your (however well-educated) guesses. I'll post the answers later in the week.

7/16/08 Update -- With The Answers!
(complete with 1960 state abbreviations, for that full-bodied retro taste)

1. Mass
2. Colo
3. Mo.
4. Wis.
5. Idaho
6. N.J.
7. Iowa
8. Ariz.
9. Va.
10. Me.
11. S.C.
12. Wash.

Looks like Jason was right - congrats, map geek.

Second Place Steve was just 5 minutes off; story of his life, ey.

Who Invited The Chubby Girl? (Or, She Was Happier Because She Could Eat)

Via Flickr.

Drink That Takes You Into Orbit

"You must have been on another planet if you haven't tried smooth, flawless Smirnoff."



We think she's a drinker because with that hair, she's never had the space helmet on.

You Know It's Deep Sea Fishin' With Big Fish To Catch

When you have to use the word "rodeo" to describe the act.



1961 Mississippi Deep Sea Fishing Rodeo billboard

Hey Day Protest, 1967

Newspaper photo of a student wearing the traditional "skimmer" hat and a gas mask to protest the study of germ warfare at Penn State.

Modern Woman Mondays: Still Not A Suzy Homemaker

I'll admit I've been more than a bit smitten with Suzy Homemaker ever since I found out she wasn't just some phrase my mom made up; so when I spotted the oven at a trip to the thrift shop this weekend, I was very tempted.


The $39.99 price tag removed the possibility.

But still, I am going to have to get one so that one of these days I can fire it up and see how it compares to the Easy-Bake Oven. For science, you know.

Vintage French Maidenform Ad Features Vulcan Model

Via eBay.

Retro Flinstones Toy

We saw this at an auction and when the guy behind us won, I asked him if I could snap a few quick pics. I keep wanting to call it Dino, but Dino was a pet, not the working crane.

"Could He Be In Love With Julie & Hate Her Father Also?"

Romeo of The Motorcycles meets his Juliette in The Mods, by Sandra Lawrence with photographs by Ken Williams, A Lancer Photo Novel, 1967.




Via: Flickr & eBay

Never Too Dated

We mean that this photo has classic elegance which appears timeless; we're pretty sure the model had lots & lots of dates.

Only 2 Weeks Until The 4th Of July...

Mothers, have you made your matching outfits?

Dangerous Dames Selected By Mike Shayne

Hand-picked, we imagine.



via.

The Big Cigar Means...

Xavier Cugat is happy to see you.

Hoidy Toidy

My, how toilet seat technology has improved: today, you can get barbed wire embedded in them, or get ones that add unimaginable degrees of functionality of your regular toilet, but in the sixties you just had appliques:

Realize: this ad is a full-page in the Home Modernizing Guide, full-color, towards the beginning...it cost a lot of scratch to get your fractal fleur-de-lis in front of someone just dying to replace their already uncomfortable hard toilet seat with something exactly the same -- except for a little image on the cover. This, in 1965, was "a step up to a new high in bathroom elegance" -- which leads me to believe that American Standard thought the previous level of bathroom elegance was simply having a toilet seat to cover the hole.



Yup, that's all of them -- "delicate sea horses...gay bouquets...golden fleur-de-lis...handsome arabesque arrangements" -- molded into the cover with raised detail, so that as you're scrubbing the seat down you won't rub off the sea horses. I don't think I've ever lived used a potty with pictures on the seats; any sort of brownish, greenish details are off-putting to me, but those seem to be the key colors here. In the sixties and seventies, harvest gold and olive green were de rigeur home interior colors, but I can't imagine why anyone thought they'd be good toilet colors. I guess I shouldn't talk; our toilet seat is a plain-old white model...if only I could rub my bare butt on one of these fine examples of bathroom elegance, I'd change my tune.

Craft-Scan Friday: Get Yer Space-Age Santas Here

Remember the 60's and how they promised us a future of hover cars and jet-pack travel? Well, some of us do, anyway. The rest of you can put down your Tommee Tippee cups and see why the rest of us all believed so hard.

See, our moms were busy creating space-age Christmases. Just like Ethel Peterson who had covered the face of her clock (now at a thrift shop near you) with a half-circle of gold-flocked cardboard. "Stars, pasted onto the blue crepe paper, give 'sky' effect."



Pretty potent stuff, merging forever, the idea of travel, space, and free gifts.

Here Santa rides a rocket -- which they call a "jet" ("cut from linoleum rolls and covered with shelf paper, then painted"). Not only better than that, a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn.



What the heck can be better than typing "a reindeer rests on the rings of Saturn"? Seeing it. I can't wait to make hundreds for next year's holiday craft fair.

Retro Manners Refresher

(The First) Thirteen Comments On Social Awareness Tips

"From Refresh Your Table Manners", by Luella Cuming, 1964 Family Circle.

1-5 Rules for informal meals:

At an informal seated meal the hostess may pass dishes from a serving cart at her immediate left; she then serves herself last.

Jeeze, I'd hate to see the formal rules. What direction does the hostess pass? Does it suck to be left-handed then, and if so, does it suck more than serving yourself last when you know there's not going to be enough because the husband brought home 3 extra buddies?

The cart holds a water pitcher, extra silver, glasses, napkins, and any other items that may be needed during the meal. If an item is dropped by a guest, the hostess replaces it from the cart without comment.

Without comment you say... That would kill quite a bit of dinner conversation, wouldn't it? And in my family, we'd drop 'em on purpose, just to force a comment.

If you drop your fork and the hostess doesn't notice, you may use any other fork that is there -- or, without explanation, say to your hostess, "May I please have a fork?"

I agree; if the hostess doesn't notice you (how rude!), by all means, grab the meat serving fork and start shoveling.

Ever notice how the lowly spoon and knife are left out of the discussion? I'd say 67% of all utensils dropped at the table are knives.

Or maybe it's some sort of passive-aggressive thing in my family and the knives aren't really 'dropped' at all...

Movin' on...


6 Passing Food

When you help yourself to food or pass it, hold the dish from underneath so that you do not leave fingerprints on the rim.

(Will keep this PG-13. Will keep this PG-13...)

7 Hey, look, the etiquette lady apparently doesn't believe in grammar; there is no period or other punctuation at the end of most of these tips.

8-10 Yeah, Luella is only on tip number 3, but then I told you that this was 13 comments on the tips; so I'm way ahead of her.

In buffet dining, the hostess stands beside the table and encourages shy guests or offers to serve them.

You have guests too shy to eat? Isn't this one of those survival of the fittest things where we should just let nature take its course?

And what side does the hostess stand on?

Do not overload your plate; it looks unattractive and is hard to manage.

Was this 1964 B.C. -- Before Chinet?

This, though, would explain the shy people who wonder how much food on a plate is unattractive.

11-13 And now for your holy crap moment...

In table manners there are many accepted forms, all equally correct. For example, the continental fashion of eating

The continental fashion of eating? That's how people eat breakfast at hotels, right?

and the zigzag style are equally proper.

Um... Time for a little help here.

OK, I do not zigzag; I am officially a continental styled gal.

If you have your own tradition, try to develop its fine points. The suggestions here are in a widely accepted American tradition

What? No mention of how piggy eats?! Well, I guess that American tradition -- or at least its finer points -- really didn't come into full acceptance until Ralphie's brother Randy showed us in a Christmas Story in 1983.



To be continued...

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Have A Coolie Christmas

All you thought you had to worry about was your neighbor with the black lawn jockey...

Included in the Pacific Palisades Holiday Tour was this exotic outdoor decoration that blends East and West. Set on an outdoor patio, the antique rickshaw carries a Santa Claus figure and a collection of brightly wrapped Christmas gifts.

The coolie figure was made of papier mache with an Oriental mask face under his collie hat. This holiday display decorates the home of Mr. and Mrs. James Kalasardo of Pacific Palisades.

Found in the 1959, Better Homes & Gardens' Christmas Ideas.

When Your Plastic Pine Needles Fall...

Here's another version of a tissue paper flower tree, made on last year's tree frame.

Yes, "another version" -- because in this 1959 holiday magazine there's a more, err, traditional tree with tissue paper flowers. I don't honestly know if there is such a thing as a traditional tissue paper blossom decorated Christmas tree... But the other one is huge and I'm saving that one for holiday time. So you get this "diminutive" version, "just right to decorate a dining room or entrance hall table".


I'm not very surprised to find such a "spring posies on a Christmas tree" project; but I am surprised that the last year's artificial tree was plucked of the plastic needles so quickly...

Just in case you need to recycle your artificial tree -- and don't find tissue paper trees anything to sneeze at, here's the pattern & instructions.

Just Like A Man -- And A Woman

Just Like A Man was a Family Circle column by Byron Fish; the following appeared in the November 1964 issue of the magazine.

A boy can't learn too soon that in math, as in most subjects, there is a male and a female way to work things out. After a lesson in feminine-gender arithmetic my son figures that when it comes to higher powers of reasoning, men are squares.

First up, gender punctuation:

"You are inquiring into a mystery unsolved by man. From the time a female learns to write, she is convinced that exclamation points were invented to be used. She even feels they will go to waste unless they are put into sentences."

That's so not true!!

Regarding ellipsis...

The boy asks, "How about those dots in there?"

The father responds:

Dots sometimes are used for a specific purpose in the neuter, or masculine, gender. If you find a long row of them apparently just thrown in, they are feminine gender."

My husband would have a field day with this... He abhors my continual use of ellipsis...

I, in return, must counter by pointing out that this article is proof that everything is considered masculine unless noted as feminine (and that feminine is lower in status). I'm just sayin'...


"Men teachers probably are told during their training to allow for the more complicated punctuation by girl pupils." :sigh: I suppose I should just be happy there was no mention of retarded or intolerant women teachers.

Then again... no mention of female teachers is rather sexist -- I mean, "It's rather sexist!"

Now we move onto gender in 'rithmetic.



The boy gets the correct answer, but dad makes an ambiguous statement...

So dad needs to explain female math.

"Particularly if he is married." Yuck it up, Byron.



Oh, and it all ends with a cute little story of the little woman besting "daddy". How quaint.

:snarl:

If you'd prefer to read the column in its entirety as it appeared:

1959 Disneyland Candle Shop

From the 1959 Better Homes & Gardens' Christmas Ideas magazine comes this photo of Disneyland's candle shop.

Mrs. Robert Beals, and her daughter Jani, find the choice of candles fantastic and a difficult decision to make. Which one shall it be?

Well, of course it's difficult to pick just one -- even if you are allowed to be known by your own name and not as your husband's property.

I never just pick one candle. Hence I am not only a huge boon the hostess of the home candle party, but have been put on candle buying prohibition; I'm not allowed to by any more candles.

Hubby thinks having a cabinet designated just for candles is silly. This, even after he's seen my sister has an entire pantry just for candles -- which should prove that I'm really deprived, not depraved, as he believes.

Thursday Thirteen: Hello, 1964!

13 More Magazine Scans To Mock, From The Year I Was Born
(I skipped TT last week here, so you can't be sick of me.)

#1 Musical Jump Rope with clown head handles?! No matter how fast you skip and run, those clowns follow you!



#2 Amazing any of the Breck's solitaire game boards, made of "feather-light Dylite" (aka Styrofoam) survived. (I know they have, every once and awhile I spot them at thrift stores -- even without being in a box. Which means someone had to carry it in gingerly, separately, from the other donated goods. Amazing.)



#4 Vicks: Where huffing begins.




#5 & 6 For those that believe in the separation of Church & State, 15 Religious Figures and 35 Presidential Statues -- each with their own display.




#7 Arthur Godfrey says Tintex takes the guesswork out of fabric dying.



Now that you've seen the ad, let's talk. What's the deal with this celeb endorsement? Was Godfrey a big ol' butch male crafter -- the Rosey Grier of his time?

(Well, it does look like Godfrey's has his experiences with dying... Look at those splotches on his face.)

#8 Black Eyed Suzie Flowerkins. I saw her live on stage at CBGB's.



#9 & 10 In an issue of Workbasket we find Women Who Make Cents. Some ingenious gal gives away her secrets for making money by using her left over netting to make hair nets. I'd say selling her business idea to the magazine for $2 is more money than she ever made or would have made from the sale of hair nets, no matter what decade.


Also in this column on ways for women to "add to the family income" are directions for bronzing baby shoes at home:

Fill a pair of baby shoes completely with plaster of Paris. Allow to dry or set. Then spray with gold or bronze paint, giving them 2 or 3 coats. Then sell for $2.50 to $3.50 per pair.

OK, I won't argue the cost v. profit ratio (I'm too lazy to research the cost of baby shoes, plaster of Paris and paint in 1964), but isn't the point of bronzing baby booties to both preserve your own child's booties (memories) and to actually bronze them?

#11 If you can't see the bleach container for the pig and actually need instructions and a pattern to make Pretty Priscilla, perhaps you've moved from huffing Vicks to snorting Clorox.



#12 Royal made a "nutty new flavor" in 1964 -- "a proud new pudding that combines the creaminess of caramel with the crunch of toasted bits of cashews!"



I can't won't am not allowed to speak for pudding pride, but the reasons why I've never hear of caramel-cashew pudding was either:

A) cashew quickly pudding became as pricey as cashmere pudding & out-priced anything in the boxed dessert (including the other Royal flavors, by the case)

or

B) like me, few desired crunchy pudding.

#13 Just when you thought pudding couldn't get any nuttier...

My-T-Fine pudding pushed a pudding and pantyhose promo.



I'm at a bit of a loss here because hubby keeps me to the PG-13 rule, but naturally, when I hear of pudding and pantyhose I think of a control-top -- and a breathable cotton crotch. The ad mentions neither.

Nor does it actually state pantyhose, but rather reads "nylon fashion hosiery." Not that pudding in my stockings sounds much better.

...But now I'm treading on the too-thin PG-13 ice. I don't want to skate the issue; he makes me. You, however, may play with "pudding" and "ladies' hosiery" and "My-T-Fine" and see what you come up with.

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Fun With 13 Images From a Dutch Household Encyclopedia

Having Fun With 13 Images From a Dutch Household Encyclopedia

Found at Flickr, without any text or descriptive info, we might as well enjoy them by adding our own meanings...

1) Hey, look at you! You're really growing-up and the talk of the town. It's time to start looking for a mate or before you know it you'll be one of those old maids!



2) Beauty begins now. Best start preparing your own rituals of lotions & potions to preserve in wax what you can of your youth.



3) You might need some guidance and help with determining your own beauty needs. Then, as now, the rule remains: All the best hairdressers are gay.



4) How does she stay so fair?


Hats with brims rounder & wider than her derriere.

5) Remember, hats must match the purse.



6) Maintaining your figure is important. "Wide" is not lovely, but protrusion is.


An improbably large and pointy bosom a-top a whisper of waist is as important as a bodonkadonk bottom.

7) Remember, men appreciate require a woman who is obedient. Think back to your poodle and practice prancing to please your own master!


Remember, you'll need to learn his personal preferences so that when he says, "Jump!" you'll know just how high.

8) Advice on selecting a mate continues.


Should you suffer from large, wide, puffy hips, try to find a mate with an enormous head. While walking side-by-side, your hips will seem more naturally sized in the shadow of his out of proportion head.


9) We've all heard the sordid tales of babies who do not look like their daddies... But sometimes babies will not look like their mommies. Don't ask; just let it pass.



10) Any frustration you have can be released by shopping. Let the distraction of matching accessories -- and his department store bill -- be your consolation.



11) A word on dads and childrearing... Dads do not rear their children.


It is so unlikely that even the artist drew a question mark by the little girl's potty.

12) Should you ever see such things, rest assured they are hallucinations -- and seek medical attention. Your doctor will know what to do and prescribe just the right pills for your ills.



13) Should it all ever become too much for you, slip your pills into his dinner -- just be sure not to give little Johnny the same Special Daddy Dish!




Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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The Girl Most Likely To...

She is most likely to:

a) Let the boys go all the way.

b) Spend a year visiting an 'aunt' -- she'll return a little chunky, a little blue, but she'll have nothing much to say about her visit.

c) Be on uppers.

d) Be on downers.

e) All of the above.

Grading will not be on a curve. Extra credit will be given in Get Out! Awards.

Gregory's 60s Bachelor Pad

Gregory has a swingin' bachelor's pad -- not just one room, but the entire rambler is decked out in vintage housewares: