How About A Punch -- & Judy -- In The Nose

OK, so it may not be Punch & Judy, but still, it's blowing your nose on puppets. And kids.

The Story Of The Bear Hug Wiggler; Or Why I'm Not Allowed To Go Out Of The House Alone

We went to BK the other night, hubby, middle girl and I. The kids' toys are Crayola toys. Inside the toy's packaging they always have the insert with all the other toys, so kids whine to come back for more. I looked at it and was intrigued by the "Bear Hug" Wiggler.

I have a thing for bears, and a natural human disposition to laziness, so I wondered, is this thing a bear you put a crayon into and when you wind it up, it draws for you? If so, I need one.

There was no explanation or description on the insert, so I went to the counter to ask the pimply-faced boy standing there. Our interaction was brief and went like this:

Me: "Hi, can you show me the bear wiggler?"

Him: "Huh?"

Me: "Can I see your bear wiggler?"

Him: *blank stare*

Me: "Your bear wiggler -- the Crayola toy."

Him: *digging blindly beneath the counter in what I can only assume is a bin of kids' meal toys -- occasionally looking into the assumed box then back at me*

Me: *waiting hopefully*

Him: "I have no idea what that is. I have no idea what that is."

Me: "Uh, OK, thanks anyway."

I walk to the door to meet the waiting family, whereupon my hubby, sardonic eyebrow raised, says, "Probably not appropriate to ask a guy to show him his 'bare wiggler' in public."

Doh!

All that, and I still don't know what a "Bear Hug" Wiggler is.

But I'm pretty sure I still want one. Now I have a great cougar story to with it.

Marvels From 1954's The Family Physician -- Or Bad HMO?

Within the pages of The Family Physician, by Dr. Herman Pomeranz & Dr. Irvin S. Koll, 1954, there are many things to marvel at. On the inset photo page between 142 & 143 we find the following marvels:

A Miracle Of Modern Science

Nail swallowed by four-year-old boy was successfully withdrawn from his duodenum when doctors induced him to gulp chocolate malted milk containing magnet attached to a thread. X-ray shows magnet in contact with nail, which appears as curved line beneath it.

Self-Operation

Photograph shows doctor removing his own appendix; assistant and nurse helped him to hold instruments. He did this to "get patient's attitude."

If I had to choose between gulping chocolate milk with a magnet & thread (just like mom used to make!) or operating on myself, I'd gulp, baby.

I can't even understand the "get patient's attitude" dealio-mcbob. I mean are there patients who actually operate on themselves? Or was the unnamed doc responding to those patients who, like visitors to art galleries, think they can do that themselves.

Because All Men Still Look Up To See Planes

And because all men are about 8-12 mentally, the Louise Antoinette Adams Airplanes Chandelier (found via A Tad Too Tan For Taupe) works for boys of all ages.

Sittin' On My TV Tuffet

From a 1955 Osco Drug ad; I'm still of an age where "drug store" meant "cheap department store," not "pharmacy and nothing else." You went to the drug store to buy comics, tap on the goldfish tanks, talk Mom into a pack of fake money and a squirt gun (because the allowance was being saved for comics, of course), oh, and Mom might need to find aspirin, band-aids, and nylons. Anyhow, this ad informs us that the drug store had an ample supply of this amazing piece of furniture: Tough, Rugged, Covered With Washable Plastic -- The TV Tuffet from Meljax!
These high-grade pieces of furniture came in numerous fashion colors that matched any decor: red, blue, yellow, and green. And you could get one of three different images silkscreened on the back: a cowboy, a Raggedy Ann, and a poorly-balanced elephant. As any parent of multiple children knows, these options aren't just for aesthetic purposes: the possibility of 12 combinations of color and picture means you're unlikely to buy identical chairs for any of your kids. If you've got two girls and a boy, you get a red Raggedy Ann, a blue Raggedy Ann, and a green Cowboy; simple as pie! And, in the fifties, you were willing to accept that the plastic was going to crack and split within a couple days of the chairs getting home, but the kids got used to the duct tape on their high chair, they can deal with duct tape on their tuffet. It was almost half-price even, marked down to $2.99 from $5.95.

Most amazing, and appropriate to the time, were the multiple uses of the tuffet -- you could, of course, watch TV, but it could also be used as a booster chair at the dinner table and in the car. Yes, look at that smiley kid at the bottom, relaxing seatbeltless with his hands behind his head, nary a care in the world -- you know, that care-free look you had shortly before you awaken to find teeth marks in the vinyl dashboard, blood seeping from one nostril, and a throbbing headache. Ah, the fifties were a wonderful time for children!