Mustache Menagerie!

Movember is, apparently, a big deal in the mustache community: the Movember foundation uses the month of November for fundraising to help men's health issues, particularly testicular and prostate diseases. Pepsi has provided this helpful guide to mustache creation, appearing like polystyrene model parts on sprues:

You may recognize that the ad appeared in Maxim; yes, I have one of those fun 'for professionals' free subscriptions — what's your excuse for reading Maxim, hmmm? I already have a mustache, which is my excuse for not using the promised 'time-lapse' Facebook mustashe-growing app, which I was unable to find.

Anyhow, even being a woman is no excuse for not having facial hair. The appropriately-named I Made You A Beard is fully and completely ready to undertake the task of providing women a beard of their very own:


Would it be wrong of me to think women in Crayola-colored yarn beards are totally hot? Theoretically, I mean, if somebody were to think such a thing, that is. I mean, if somebody spent all day thinking at great length about what it would be like to kiss a woman wearing one of these - again, theoretically - what, I , well, if that...never mind, I'm not sure where I'm going with this thought process.

Anyhow, woman aren't the only mustacheless people to benefit from a fake mustache. That other kind of people: dogs.
Yes, dogs can participate in Movember by gnawing on the rubber ball end of the Humunga Stache. This is provided that you can get the dog to chew on it the right way; one of our dogs is horribly stupid, and would probably injure herself trying to use the toy improperly. The Humunga Stache appears to be only available in the UK, hence the British bulldog who appears to have lost his pith helmet and monocle while on a tiger hunt in darkest Burma.

More Instant Moustache!

We've already seen that there's no shortage of instant mustache products, but imagine my surprise to see the pool has expanded yet again, with these mustache band-aids:


Sadly, I believe the only logical place to use one of these bandages is on the upper lip, and I can only think of, like, ten different ways to accidentally injure that part of the face (and, of course, right in the center of the lip, otherwise the moustache will be off-center). Oh, well; maybe I'll just wear it on my upper lip, without any covered injury - nobody will know anyways, they're so realistic!

Instant Mustache!

I already have a mustache (a van dyke, to be accurate) that I've had for around 10 years now, but you never know when a mustache needs to appear completely without warning. First...Popstache:



Clip it on to your soda or water bottle, and with each sip you look a little more sophisticated than before. Make sure you keep it right side up, or else you might end up looking a bit strange; nobody has a handlebar goatee.

You might not be the one in need of mustaching, the solution of which is the mustache ring:



Give a mustache to anybody else, even if they already have a mustache. It's like the Green Lantern's power ring, but designed by Apple for simplicity and interactivity.

ring via, popstache via.