Mustache Menagerie!

Movember is, apparently, a big deal in the mustache community: the Movember foundation uses the month of November for fundraising to help men's health issues, particularly testicular and prostate diseases. Pepsi has provided this helpful guide to mustache creation, appearing like polystyrene model parts on sprues:

You may recognize that the ad appeared in Maxim; yes, I have one of those fun 'for professionals' free subscriptions — what's your excuse for reading Maxim, hmmm? I already have a mustache, which is my excuse for not using the promised 'time-lapse' Facebook mustashe-growing app, which I was unable to find.

Anyhow, even being a woman is no excuse for not having facial hair. The appropriately-named I Made You A Beard is fully and completely ready to undertake the task of providing women a beard of their very own:


Would it be wrong of me to think women in Crayola-colored yarn beards are totally hot? Theoretically, I mean, if somebody were to think such a thing, that is. I mean, if somebody spent all day thinking at great length about what it would be like to kiss a woman wearing one of these - again, theoretically - what, I , well, if that...never mind, I'm not sure where I'm going with this thought process.

Anyhow, woman aren't the only mustacheless people to benefit from a fake mustache. That other kind of people: dogs.
Yes, dogs can participate in Movember by gnawing on the rubber ball end of the Humunga Stache. This is provided that you can get the dog to chew on it the right way; one of our dogs is horribly stupid, and would probably injure herself trying to use the toy improperly. The Humunga Stache appears to be only available in the UK, hence the British bulldog who appears to have lost his pith helmet and monocle while on a tiger hunt in darkest Burma.

Regretsy

Etsy is a great place to find hand-made folk and fine arts, but - as you'd expect pretty much anywhere that people can post things without supervision - sometimes the products are a bit...off the wall:

According to Regretsy, the home for horrible Etsy products, the squirrel-fish taxidermy above could be purchased for the low, low price of $350.00. I'll bet, if I comparison-shopped, I could buy a freakin' crate of non-fishy taxidermied squirrels, which I could then superglue fish heads on to. And I realize, well, if I am going through so much work to try and reproduce, en masse, the insane work of art above, I should probably just pay the guy $350.