Friday, November 9, 2007

Craft-Scan Friday: Talk To The Zombies

This week's Craft-Scan Friday looks innocent, but that's what they want you to think.

A young lady keeps her squirrel-chow in a frog's-head macrame bag. What's so wrong with that? Of course she's going to be wandering the woods like a sweater-wearing Snow White, singing to lure woodland creatures close enough to taste her wares. Not so:

This, it turns out, is a formerly-deceased squirrel. Now, I've seen my share of deceased squirrels, and none climbed trees. No, this formerly-deceased squirrel is now un-deceased, his paws bent and battered, his ears crushed from years in his crypt, his backbone bent in an uncomfortable pose -- now a minion of the walking dead, stalking the forests in search of tasty, tasty squirrel brains.

There IS the possibility that's the food in the girl's hand is zombie- squirrel- chow, spooned from the finest squirrel's skulls. This would make the girl their friend, not foe: Snow Sweater, Friend of the Zombies; her soleful tune (the only lyric: "brains") causes zombie critters to line up behind her, following her to a hazily-lit clearing where they'll sway to the music and await their handful of cerebral matter. It'd be cute, if it wasn't so terribly, terribly unholy.

In reality, I'm sure the photo was taken on a fall day, taxidermied squirrel wired to the tree, with this phrase repeated over and over "act like you're feeding the squirrel, honey, hold the nuts by its mouth, a little lower, you're feeding him, honey, pretend you're feeding him..." They theory was, of course, that a girl talking to a dead squirrel would sell latchhook kits of owls in love and needlepoint ladybug sunglasses cases (yes, that's what the tiny thing at the bottom is), because, hey, if it looks like we know what a real animal looks like, our cartoony animals will be more valuable. "Buy our latchhook, I've seen a squirrel!"

When it comes to dead things, however, times were different in the 1970s. Dead bodies were often used as marketing materials. This put numerous zombies out of work, no doubt, who almost certainly echoed the sentiment of the string-art mouse pictured on the right-side of the image:

Unfair indeed.

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Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

There's nothing like a good zombie squirrel post. Nothing.

November 16, 2007 9:47 PM  
Blogger Azrael Brown said...

Darn tootin' -- it's too bad there's so few zombie squirrels these days...

November 17, 2007 12:57 PM  

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