Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Case Of The Pirate Fashion Photographer

I'm no Erle Stanley Gardner, or even one of the Brett Hallidays; but I'm pretty sure it was all the striped ties which caused male fashion photographer Marco to gauge his own eye out.


Via Flickr.

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If I Were A One Legged Pirate

If I Were A One Legged Pirate
by Mildred Plew Meigs

If I were a one-legged pirate
Ga-lumping around on a peg,
I'd flourish my pistol and fire it;
Then, sure as my right wooden leg,
I'd buy me a three-decker galleon
With cannon to port and to lee,
And wearing the king's medallion,
I'd head for a tropical sea!
Roaring a rough Ha-ha! Ha-ho!
Roving the routes of old,
Over the billows we would go
Sweeping the seas for gold!
Plying the lane
Of the Spanish Main
For Gold!
Gold!
Gold!

If I were a one-legged pirate
Ga-lumping around after loot,
I'd flourish my pistol and fire it;
Then, sure as my red leather boot,
I'd buy me a three decker galleon
With cannon to thunder a mile,
And bucking the sea like a stallion,
I'd head for a tropical Isle!
Roaring a rough Ha-ha! Ha-ho!
Chanting a chantey bold,
Over the billows we would blow,
Sweepint the seas for gold!
Plying the lane
Of the Spanish Main
For Gold!
Gold!
Gold!

But since I was not born a pirate
Ga-lumping around on a stick;
And since my toy gun when I fire it
Gives out but a little toy click;
Pretending my boat is a galleon,
My pond is a tropical sea,
I'll play I'm an old rapscallion,
But really I won't hurt a flea.
Roaring my small Ha-ha! Ha-ho!
Saying I'm someone bold,
Over the duck pond I will go
Roving the routes of old;
Plying the pond
And the stream beyond
For Gold!
Gold!
Gold!

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee



The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee

Ho, for the Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee!
He was as wicked as wicked could be,
But oh, he was perfectly gorgeous to see!
The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

His conscience, of course, was as black as a bat,
But he had a floppety plume on his hat
And when he went walking it jiggled - like that!
The plume of the Pirate Dowdee.

His coat it was handsome and cut with a slash,
And often as ever he twirled his mustache
Deep down in the ocean the mermaids went splash,
Because of Don Durk of Dowdee.

Moreover, Dowdee had a purple tattoo,
And struck in his belt where he buckled it through
Were a dagger, a dirk, and a squizzamaroo,
For fierce was the Pirate Dowdee.

So feaful he was he would shoot at a puff,
And always at sea when the weather grew rough
He drank from a bottle and wrote on his cuff,
Did Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

Oh, he had a cutlass that swung at his thigh
And he had a parrot called Pepperkin Pye,
And a zigzaggy scar at the end of his eye
Had Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

He kept in a cavern, this buccaneer bold,
A curious chest that was covered with mould,
And all of his pockets were jingly with gold!
Oh jing! went the gold of Dowdee.

His consience, of course it was crook'd like a squash,
But both of his boots made a slickery slosh,
And he went throught the world with a wonderful swash,
Did Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

It's true he was wicked as wicked could be,
His sins they outnumbered a hundred and three,
But oh, he was perfectly gorgeous to see,
The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.

From Enchanted Isles, Charles E. Merrill Books, 1954. Written by Mildred Plew Meigs, illustrated by Decie Merwin, via Flickr.

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Shop Like A Pirate Day



Zazzle wants you to help you shop like a pirate -- with easy ship-ping.

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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

PIRATES ARE SISSIES!

...when it comes to adventure, thrills, and romance with America's greatest hobby: stamp collecting.
Ummmm...I'm not sure I get the connection. Are there postage stamps which depict pirates in frilly undergarments? Or eating bon-bons while watching their 'stories'? Is this all an insidious plot by the ninjas to discredit their sworn enemies, under the guise of philately?

I believe they're alluding to the globe-trotting habits of pirates, who visit exotic and varied locations around the world, and that a stamp collector has a far greater range than a hijacked schooner staffed by privateers. Frasek Company was a minor supplier of stamp collecting supplies in the 1930s, which is why this (quite tiny) ad appears in a 1939 issue of Radio Guide.

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