It Could Happen To You!

Yes, it COULD happen to you!

You're minding your own business, wearing your gasoline-soaked paper clothes and high heels, standing with one foot stuck in a pile of leaves, only to be surprised -- surprised -- the dead, dry leaves spontaneously combust and fire races up your leg, exploding your coat into huge flames before you realize what's happening. Oh, and you're a woman, so it's pretty much guaranteed that you're going to screw up raking leaves in a hideous, maiming way. It's March 21, 1964, and The Farmer magazine needs to sell some insurance; crank up the horror and fears of lonely farmwives, who can barely be trusted with the most basic of lawncare, and encourage them that any task you perform around the farm could quickly cause you to burn alive. Stay away from milking the cows, ma; remember what the insurance company said!