How To Treat Your Grandma
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I reviewed "Saving Stuff
", by Don Williams and Louisa Jaggar, at Collector's Quest today
-- while this didn't fit into my review
, it was funny enough I had to put it somewhere. The premise of this list is you should treat Grandma's quilts the same way you'd treat Grandma -- such as:
Don's Rules for Preserving "Grandmas" and Textiles
- Never hang Grandma from a nail.
- Never leave Grandma out in the sun.
- Never expose Grandma to too much light, inside or outside.
- Never cram Grandma into a little box or into the trunk of your car.
- Never stick pins or staples in Grandma.
- Never fold Grandma or roll her up in a ball.
- Never let bugs eat Grandma.
- Never sit on Grandma if she is too old or creaky.
- Never scrub Grandma with harsh cleaners.
- Never drag Grandma around.
- Never hug Grandma when you are dirty; a dirty grandma is an unhappy Grandma.
- Never put Grandma in the attic or basement. She doesn't like being baked or getting moldy.
- Keep Grandma out of drafty spaces.
- Never eat on Grandma.
- Keep the pets off Grandma.
- Never smoke or chew tobacco around Grandma.
- Never splash water or drinks on Grandma.
- Never let Grandma sit directly on wood, acidic paper, most plastic films, or adhesive tape.
- Never snag Grandma with rings, watches, cuff links, belt buckles, and so forth.
- If Grandma gets sick or hurt, take her to the doctor (in this case a textile conservator); don't try to fix her yourself.
Take Don's advice -- treat your 'grandmas' right!