How To Treat Your Grandma

I reviewed "Saving Stuff", by Don Williams and Louisa Jaggar, at Collector's Quest today -- while this didn't fit into my review, it was funny enough I had to put it somewhere. The premise of this list is you should treat Grandma's quilts the same way you'd treat Grandma -- such as:

    Don's Rules for Preserving "Grandmas" and Textiles
  1. Never hang Grandma from a nail.

  2. Never leave Grandma out in the sun.

  3. Never expose Grandma to too much light, inside or outside.

  4. Never cram Grandma into a little box or into the trunk of your car.

  5. Never stick pins or staples in Grandma.

  6. Never fold Grandma or roll her up in a ball.

  7. Never let bugs eat Grandma.

  8. Never sit on Grandma if she is too old or creaky.

  9. Never scrub Grandma with harsh cleaners.

  10. Never drag Grandma around.

  11. Never hug Grandma when you are dirty; a dirty grandma is an unhappy Grandma.

  12. Never put Grandma in the attic or basement. She doesn't like being baked or getting moldy.

  13. Keep Grandma out of drafty spaces.

  14. Never eat on Grandma.

  15. Keep the pets off Grandma.

  16. Never smoke or chew tobacco around Grandma.

  17. Never splash water or drinks on Grandma.

  18. Never let Grandma sit directly on wood, acidic paper, most plastic films, or adhesive tape.

  19. Never snag Grandma with rings, watches, cuff links, belt buckles, and so forth.

  20. If Grandma gets sick or hurt, take her to the doctor (in this case a textile conservator); don't try to fix her yourself.

Take Don's advice -- treat your 'grandmas' right!

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