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This morning, I gave myself a very stern lecture. I said, "Curtis, your collections have got to be decreased. You WILL go through your pictures and get rid of some, no make that many, of them. Do you understand? There will be NO sentimental hanging onto ANYTHING!" (Yes, I talk to myself, rather frequently). Truthfully, I did not come to this decision by myself. I had a little inspiration from my wife. She said, "Curtis, if you don't do something with some of your collections, I am going to." These words almost sent me to the hospital with shock! After my heart rate slowed to an acceptable rate and I began to breathe more normally, I decided she was right. I did need to do something with a few of my things, and it would be much better for me to go through them than for her to (what a frightening thought!). However, I knew that I could not give in to the Mean Ol' Woman (also known as my wife) that easily. I had to put up an argument. I firmly told her, "I do not have the time to do it now. I will do it later." Her replied chilled my blood. She said, "I have all morning to do it." Round one went to the Evil Ol' Biddie (also known as my wife). I thought a moment, and then asked, "Which collection should I start with?" I thought this would slow her down, since I have so many collections to go through. She very promptly said, "Start with your wedding pictures. You bought them to decorate at Phillip's wedding reception, and the wedding is over. You can get rid of them, and while you're at it, do something with all those antique wedding dresses that you bought for the wedding." I argued my way out of thinning my wedding dresses out, because they are so valuable. However, I couldn't get out of going through the pictures. Round two also went to the Vengeful Ol Woman (also known as my wife). Well, I bravely tackled my wedding picture boxes, all six of them. I was ruthless and reckless on my first trip through the boxes, throwing pictures away with abandon. I made three stacks: one marked "keep", one marked "maybe" and one marked "to be discarded". My goal was to have my pictures equally divided between the three piles. Then one more trip through the "Maybe" pile would then reduce my collection by half. Surely that would be an acceptable division to the Daughter of Satan (also known as my wife)! When I finished going through the boxes I had three whole pictures in my "to be discarded" pile! Bravo, Curtis!......As I sat admiring my handiwork, I soon began to think that only discarding three pictures, out of six good-sized boxes, was not a good ratio. I decided to try again. I turned my attention back to my "Maybe" stack. Surely I could weed a few more out of that stack of pictures. "Three pictures out of six boxes is definitely NOT a healthy ratio when trying to reduce bulk," I told myself. I took my heart out, and left it on the bathroom counter. "I will tackle this with absolutely no emotional involvement." I said to myself, very sternly. " I will discard the pictures on a purely aesthetic basis. If there is no artistic value to the picture, it will go to the 'To Be Discarded' pile. You will not keep any pictures for purely sentimental reasons. Sentiment has no place in this action. Is this perfectly clear to you Mr. Curtis Thompson?" Properly chastened, I went through the boxes again. This time I manage to put eight more pictures aside. I was very proud of myself. Since I was doing so well, I decided to give this one more try. After more very serious conversations with myself, I plowed through the boxes quickly, throwing many more pictures away. This time, I reduced my six boxes of pictures down to three-and-one-half boxes. Wow, what a relief! "That's the way to do it," I said to myself. Three-and-one-half boxes was close enough to the three that I had aimed for I decided. I e-mailed a good friend (who also likes pictures) to ask her if she was interested in the pictures that I was deleting from my collection. I told her that there is nothing wrong with any of the pictures, assuring her that they are all good pictures. I wouldn't have bought them if they weren't good in the first place. I assured her. I began to pack the pictures, so that I could mail them to her. As I began to pack the pictures in the first box, I started putting some of them back into my keep pile. I soon ran into the first picture of a bride that I bought. I decided to keep that one, since it was the first one I bought (so much for not being sentimental). "That dress is too classic an example of the late bustle era to discard," I reasoned (after all, as a costume designer I need examples from all the different eras, in case I need to make a wedding dress from that era, right?) "The expression on this groom's face is too neat not to keep. You might want to paint that one," the artist in me said about that picture. "Oh, look at how cute that flower girl is, I can't get rid of that one, that was someones beautiful daughter," the proud father in me said. Yep, that picture went back into my "Keep" pile. "The church in this picture is too beautiful to throw this one out, and look at the mischief shining in that ring bearer's eyes," was my next thought. Another picture in the "Keep" stack. I began to hope that my friend would contact me soon, so that I would know for certain that she wanted the pictures. If she didn't contact me soon, there wouldn't be anything left for me to send her at the rate that I was going. I quickly finished packing things into her box, and managed to get quite a few pictures into her box. I was so proud of that. I scrawled her address on the box (yes, it is down to only one box by this point.) The fact that the box that has my friend's name on it is much smaller than the ones I kept is irrelevant. I still managed to delete one whole box of pictures from my collection. If my friend says that she doesn't want the pictures, I don't know what I will do. I hope all the pictures don't wind up back in my closet! Wow! What a day! I've made it through my wedding pictures boxes. Bravo, Curtis! Now I only have to go through my boxes of men's pictures, women's pictures, family groups and children's pictures and I will be through with my picture collections. Next I need to tackle my pipe collection (over 400 at last count) and my vintage clothing collection. Oh no, I forgot my ad prints, ...and my barber memorabilia,...and my books (NO, I refuse to give up any my books), and...and...and. Oh well, there's always tomorrow. I'm feeling a little weak now, I think I've done enough. Today has been very productive, I think I've done enough. I've whittled my collection down, some of the bulk has been reduced. I think I will go brag to the wonderful woman that I'm proud to call my wife, and see if she is as proud of me as I am.
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