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In the ever competitive retail market there is one golden rule. Make your customer feel welcome. I've walked out of shops where I felt things where not going my way. My mother's birthday is December 21st and I wanted a vase of cut flowers. Not some premade Christmas arraingnment. I was told that as a walk in, this close to Christmas, I couldn't expect to get that kind of request. Thank you, goodbye. I drove half a block up the street to another florist. They where equally as busy but I was served with a totally different demeanor. And I got a beautiful birthday arraingnment. Guess where I will go the next time I need flowers? Sometime in the early 90's store greeters started to appear. This is a distinct position separate from a nod or a weak hello that passed for a greeting in the old days. It is the store greeters job to engage the customer as he/she enters the store. My guess is that this new custom was borrowed from the Japanese. The Japanese are at the very pinnacle of store greeting. My first encounter with a store greeter was at the Disney store. Frankly I thought they were a nuisance. Like most things Disney it was elaborately fake. All of the 'associates' wore oversized and overmade cardigan sweaters with their names sewn on. I was greeted by Dougie. Not Doug or Douglas like what most 27 year olds would call themselves. Dougie commented on what a nice family we presented and instructed us to enjoy ourselves. I'm not sure exactly how I was to enjoy myself when the T-shirts are going for $27. I thought this was simply gratuitous pandering and get a better name, asshole. In Japan the store greeters are almost always pretty young girls. They exude the ambiance of true gratitude that you would even consider entering their store. Hell they even bow and give you flowers, you get the feeling that they would do anything for you short of putting out. The quintessential store greeters of the United States are at Wal-Mart. These folks are far from pretty (send your letters to www.nosuchaddress.com). Most are useless old people. I personally hate old people. Especially old people wearing polyester vests with 15 pieces of flair. But as bad as they are they are still better than a shirtless Abercrombie&Finch male model. Nice nipples dude, does your mother know that you do this? In some stores everybody is a greeter. If I go into Home Depot for an extension cord seven people say hi to me. But they are not so friendly on the way out. As they match my receipt to the items in my bag. I suppose the message here is, we love you but we don't trust you. Perhaps some of you ladies have felt that way about erstwhile boyfriends. The store greeter has a nefarious side as well. It's psych-ops with a smile. Studies show that if an employee makes eye contact with a person entering the store, that person is far less likely to shoplift. Also a personal greeting makes customers feel more obligated to buy something. Have you ever been to a tuberware party and really didn't want anything but bought something anyway so as not to alienate your sister-in-law for the rest of your life? Yeah, it's something like that. I figure the whole store greeter concept is a fad. One of those ploys where a service is enacted to give the impression that they care. I don't care if they care. Just give me the lowest price. They don't even have to be nice to me. God knows I'm not nice to them. FYI, on your way out of the store, when your back is turned, the store greeter is giving you the finger. WHO-HAH.
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