Kitschy-Kitschy-Coo - Life and Love at 33rpms.

Life and Love at 33rpms.

There is dialogue in the Nick Hornby book (and movie) 'High Fidelity' that rings true for those who search for the meaning of life in pop culture.

"What really matters is what you like, not what you are like…these things matter, and it's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently."

The words are painfully true. In retrospect, I probably ceased relationships based upon review of ones music collection more times than I care to admit. Now, I know you are thinking, “Man. you sure are one shallow elitist, pompous asshole living in an adolescent world.” Those words have been spoken, written, and mostly screamed, so I have heard it before. Spare me the rant. Please, let me explain a bit. This will help you can understand. It isn't like that scene in the movie Diner where the bride to be is required to take a quiz on Jazz. Nope, on close evaluation, I had my own quizzes of sorts that were put to use.

THE RADIO SURF TEST
I would carefully see where she stopped on the radio dial. Will it be a top 40 station? Will she sing along with power ballads? These are warning signs.

C'mon, stop down at the left end of the dial or make some disparaging remark about the state of modern radio.

“I'm looking for a cynical girl whose got no use for the real world” as the old Marshall Crenshaw song goes.

THE JUKE BOX TEST
Please, please, please pick out something from Kinda Kinks and not Meatloaf's “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.”

Many a beauty was tarnished by such missteps in jukebox selection.

THE MIX TAPE RESPONSE TEST
Having already deciphered a bit of her music taste, the inevitable mix tape would pop up. This would not be a mix of sappy love songs. It would be filled with music that I felt, based upon her taste, she would be receptive to hearing. This would be things that had perhaps never graced her ears. The reaction to such a gift would serve as signal to the direction of the relationship.

Comments like “You have lots of free time, don't you?” were quite common.

THE MUSIC COLLECTION EXAMINATION TEST
This is perhaps the most important test. A visit to her home would allow for the music collection perusal. I would approach with much trepidation. Pottery Barn comps, Jam Bands, lame soundtracks, New Age or worse, the minimalist or nonexistent music collection would make me consider darting out the door.

The music collection should reveal some surprises about a person. I want to see some diversity. I want to know this person has mystery and makes up their own opinions and taste and not ruled by masses.

It would seem impossible to find that perfect fit but I think I came pretty damn close when I met this smart, funny, and sultry woman who is far too good for me. Our music collection got “hitched” early on. I didn't have to administer too many tests. Her music collection wasn't cutting edge (by my standards) but it was varied and best of all there were things in it that were not that familiar. Her background in musical theater explained the Broadway soundtracks but here was a collection that also had stuff by Julie London, Sarah Vaughn, Chet Baker, The Beatles, The Stones, some classic rock, new wave and post punk sounds. There was some jazz, classical and old country. There were surprises like Bootsy Collins, Prefab Sprout and NRBQ.

Slowly our collections were combining. Weekend afternoons we would listen to music, debating and exposing each other to things in our collections. We would relate stories such as her stint as a “wig girl” for a B-52's tour or how I helped the Replacements drink their rider. I can't fathom the many hours we have spent listening to music together, be it recorded, live or self created. It’s a pretty high number for sure.

She may never get the charm of The Shaggs or Half Japanese (even though I did catch her singing “Mule” the other day) and it is doubtful that I will ever be able to tell you the difference between Rogers and Hart and Lerner and Lowe. No need to fret, there are numerous hours of music listening to share so there is still time.

Article by Casetta