Tools and Simple Machines, with Tom and Susan - Part II

Hey, go read Part I first, if you missed it.

You didn't think the filmstrip would be only 17 frames long, did you? There's another 20 where that came from! The adventures of Tom, Jane, and their menagerie of levers and pulleys continues....

Yes, lets! I've often wondered what tools Uncle Ben used to harvest his unholy crop of wild rice...

Not only is it a machine -- It's a Farmall M! While I've always been a John Deere man, I can appreciate the fine mechanical quality of a Farma....stop looking at me like that! I can be geeky about tractors, can't I?

Now, this one is a little tougher, since I can't see the body very well. The steel wheels are classy, perfect for aerating your lawns or making the neighbor's basketball court less useful.

...even quicker when you give two eight-year-olds the job, right? I've tried using those manual mowers before; they're a real workout to use.

...because Bill isn't half the man that Uncle Ben is! What a wuss.

If this filmstrip were really cool, there'd be a big white "X" painted on the ground and Henry Chickenhawk would be holding the rope...

...the dog would be chasing Foghorn Leghorn through the barn and -- BAM!

The bale would land on the DOG instead, because the chickenhawk thinks the dog is really a chicken! THAT would be a kickass physics filmstrip!

There's only two "after" photos for this filmstrip frame:

  1. Tom, still holding the rope, hurtles upwards due to the weight of the hay on the other end, until his head hits the pulley. Then, part of the bale falls off the hook onto the ground -- Tom, still holding the rope, crashes to the ground (being heavier than half a bale of hay) which point he lets go of the rope, dropping the rest of the bale on himself.
  2. Susan is lured onto a big white "X" painted on the ground, and after a bone-crushing -THUD- helps prove to Tom why physics filmstrips do not include cartoon science.

See, what they don't tell you is that he can't use the electric water pump, because Mrs. Douglas already has the TV, iron, electric stove, and hair dryer plugged into the generator. The Ziffels are coming over for dinner, what do you expect her to do?

Two words: Explosives.

Wow -- he moved that boulder a long way! Man, farmers are efficient folk. Archimedes would be impressed.

Tom's mom says he's as dumb as a bag of 'em -- does that count?

An easy question, finally -- that's a sofa!

It opresses the women of the world -- chained at the ankle to the treadle, working their fingers until they bleed, their flesh sliced by the tiny threads! Man, what kind of liberal commie hippie filmstrip IS this?

She, um....hmmm......eggbeater? Do they still make those? Beating eggs. Hm. Well, it looks cool, I guess...

Holy crap -- don't show my cats this filmstrip! If they learn about the can opener, they won't need me anymore...and then I begin to sleep with one eye open.

Hmmm....I think I need to go back to the archives. There's got to be a "Ben and Jane Beat The Plague" or "Ben and Jane Escape Indentured Servitude" filmstrips somewhere.

...because they have enforced their dictatorship upon the machines of the farm, destroying those who oppose their wrath, and ensuring obedience through deliberate psychological tactics. That Farmall M you saw a while back? It used to be a rebel, but now it barely has the will to live. Sad, it is - just so these humans can picnic willy nilly.

There's a QUIZ? For pete's sakes, I stopped taking notes in order to mock it. Can I cheat off you?

Get Uncle Ben to do it! With a slanting board!

Because Timmy's in the well, and Lassie's not doing a damn thing about it!

Gravy! Puppies! Um, aluminum! I didn't pay attention to anything. I suck.

Well, my tool that's supposed to help me with my work has the Blue Screen of Death way too often to be worth anything. I suppose relying on Microsoft makes me the tool.

OK, I probably did learn something. I learned potato boxes are heavy, bales of hay are lifted into barns by hooks, and Susan really loves the slanting boards. Today's students, they miss out on all the fun -- when they're plopped down in front of a Macintosh-based multimedia edutainment game, it all bounces off the fronts of their heads as they stare blankly into the SVGA screen. Filmstrips, in their brevity, got a lot across with a photo and a couple words.

Article by Derek

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