Gifts You Flush Away

We’re not sure what’s, err, behind this trend of embroidered rolls of toilet paper, butt however, these gifts are sure to create a whole lot of flushing. First, gift giver and receiver of the gift alike will flush — and then the gift itself will be flushed down the toilet. This may just be one time where something is worth exactly the paper it is printed on.

doo doo tp

tears ran down my leg

We suppose these are classier variations on the old potty humor gifts of Spencer’s and the like, where each sheet of two-ply had a gag on it or some puzzle to do. (I, for one, will say this is a gift to gag on — and if you give me one, I will have crosswords for you.) They also scream, “Hey, I’ve got an embroidery function on my sewing machine — let’s try to make some money!”

crap you get at christmas

hot pepper emboridered tp

I don’t exactly like the idea of some stranger fondling my tp before I get it; I sure hope they always wash their hands before they work on their sewing projects.

Some of these don’t even stick with the crapper motifs and present themselves with decorator designs and other sediments sentiments. Some of which have implications that do not seem to have been well thought out.

bite me toilet paper

kissing fish toilet paper

Yule You’ll note the holiday designs too.

holiday toilet paper

Nothing says, “Happy Anniversary!” like a scatological or golden showers reference.

scat golden anniversary emboridered toilet paper

Cigarette Butts — Get It?

The part of the cigarette that’s left when you’re done smoking is called a “butt” — and back in the day, millions were made on toilet-themed ashtrays. These are just a few we’ve had. The one sans donkey is a bit confusing… It has one small potty or chamber pot for matches, another for ashes, and the center toilet bowl is for “cigarettes”. Perhaps the “butts” thing didn’t translate well. Or maybe this is for fancy folk who have both the inclination and the time to separate their ashes from their butts.

vintage cigarette butt ashtray toilets

Both vintage tobacciana items were made in Japan (one in Occupied Japan) and are china Lusterware pieces. You can find lots of other versions of vintage toilet ashtrays on eBay, naturally.

We don’t always talk about our antique business here (we mainly do that here — sometimes here), however, I have to say that neither of these items were clean when we got them from the estate. So I had to take a tweezers and pluck out each old cigarette butt from the miniature toilets. It was very difficult to do with that toilet the donkey’s pulling because the bowl’s hole is so much smaller (however, butts can — and do — go where the bowl widens at the bottom). Not that you really care; but that’s the facts. The butt facts.

PS I wonder if women always made men put these toilet seats down too?

made in japan lusterware ashtrays