Gifts You Flush Away

We’re not sure what’s, err, behind this trend of embroidered rolls of toilet paper, butt however, these gifts are sure to create a whole lot of flushing. First, gift giver and receiver of the gift alike will flush — and then the gift itself will be flushed down the toilet. This may just be one time where something is worth exactly the paper it is printed on.

doo doo tp

tears ran down my leg

We suppose these are classier variations on the old potty humor gifts of Spencer’s and the like, where each sheet of two-ply had a gag on it or some puzzle to do. (I, for one, will say this is a gift to gag on — and if you give me one, I will have crosswords for you.) They also scream, “Hey, I’ve got an embroidery function on my sewing machine — let’s try to make some money!”

crap you get at christmas

hot pepper emboridered tp

I don’t exactly like the idea of some stranger fondling my tp before I get it; I sure hope they always wash their hands before they work on their sewing projects.

Some of these don’t even stick with the crapper motifs and present themselves with decorator designs and other sediments sentiments. Some of which have implications that do not seem to have been well thought out.

bite me toilet paper

kissing fish toilet paper

Yule You’ll note the holiday designs too.

holiday toilet paper

Nothing says, “Happy Anniversary!” like a scatological or golden showers reference.

scat golden anniversary emboridered toilet paper

Antique Witch Costume Brings Big Bucks, Some Assembly Required

This antique Butterick pattern for a witch costume dating to 1898 recently sold for $199.99. Images from the seller, wiskeycowboy.

ANTIQUE WITCH COSTUME SEWING PATTERN 1898 BUTTERICK

See Also – Sewing Pattern History: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four.

Log Cabin Quilt Playhouse or Kennel Cover

Found in the October 1980 issue of Decorating & Craft Ideas magazine, this log cabin quilt design is a “wonderfully playful project”.

Make four large blocks, add a fabric roof, and slip the whole thing over a card table for a cozy fabric “homestead” that your children — and assorted household pets — will adore.

Perhaps it says more about me than my pets, but fabric and cardboard sound more like a meal to the dogs and the cats than a “homestead”. However, I do think this could be a cool way to camouflage dog crates and kennels inside the house.

Complete pattern and instructions are in the magazine itself. (Another post from that magazine here.)

etsydecoratingcraftideasmag006

Retro A-Maze-Ing Halloween Cat Quilt

Perfect for the crazy cat lady in your life, this quilt is based on the simple designs found in coloring books. (We’ve long advocated using those illustrations for patterns.) From the October 1980 issue of Decorating & Craft Ideas magazine, the supposedly simple instructions are:

Look closely at our cat collection and you will find it really a..maze..ing (a network of fabric pathways that winde around this favorite motif.) This marvelous maze could begin with the selection of large, but simple, cat shapes, from children’s coloring books. Transfer them to fabrics, (reverse them for variety), and enlarge each one 1/4 inch. Working from the center out, and from the background to the foreground, arrange, then applique each shape onto the quilt top. (You might even become lost among all the possibilities.) Be sure to distribute sizes and colors evenly. Add pathways to fill in; embroider the details.

halloween cat maze quilt

Big Kitschy Bunnies

Retro handmade bunnies which we will be putting up for sale at Antiques On Broadway (likely on top of the case). The male is approximately 17 inches tall; the female roughly 13 inches. I love the pipe cleaner glasses on the knitting girl or grandma rabbit! Of course, if you want to buy them direct, you can also do that; just $5 a piece (plus shipping).

A Family Like Servants

The seller of these vintage embroidered kitchen towels describes them thus:

Vintage servant’s doing their domestic jobs are embroidered on white cotton dish towels. Features Suzette the maid, Charlie the laundry, Brooks the butler and Matt the gardner.

Frankly, I don’t seem them as towels for the servants — but towels for the family. Each family member has their own chores and their own hand towels to remind them of them. As a mom, I say that a lack of use of one’s towel signifies either no chores were done, or no clean up afterwards. Or that Charlie’s really on top of the laundry. But not even a Chinese laundry man can wash the racism off that towel.

Pom-Pon Girl

Oh-yeah.

Remember, ponchos can be skirts!

Coats & Clark’s book #207, Shawls & Ponchos, crochet, knit, hairpin lace; copyright 1971, second edition.

Love it? Need it? If you’re in the Us or Canada, you can buy it from me. Otherwise, check eBay.

SOLD

PS I just love that a pom-pon or pom-pom is defined as “a decorative ball of fluff.”

Craft Scan Friday: Knit Your Doll A Hula Skirt

As promised, pattern instructions from Virginia Lakin’s Petite Bazaar Knitting Book Three. I’m including the hula skirt and the bra or swimsuit top — because I don’t want your fashion doll to go topless! (And the tips pages too, so you can be sure to make your fashion doll’s clothing just right.)