LOVE ME.

Don’t worry, people: they’re not real teeth.   Who’d snuggle with a toy that had real human teeth in it?  Insanity.  No, these are fake teeth, which makes them all the more lovable.  Just look at that face: don’t you just want to cuddle with it all night long, tucked in soundly next to your sleeping body, watching over you all through the darkness of night?

Fugglers, the stuffed animal with real teeth

According to this forum post, Mrs McGettrick saw somebody selling a bag of fake teeth on eBay, and wondered who’d buy such a thing.  Nobody can explain how she became the highest bidder.  Of course, the next logical step is to install them into Ugly-Doll-looking things, and then call them Fugglers.

Wear The Afghan; Be The Afghan

From Learn To Crochet (Coats & Clark book #210, 1971), a crocheted granny motif poncho — or skirt. My legs itch just looking at it. And good luck finding a slip to go beneath it. (Or maybe you wouldn’t wear a slip, you boho slut.)

But, for you lazy fashion lovers (or recyclers), note that you can get a skirt with a hanky hem just by wearing your poncho around your hips.

Oh No! The Baby Swallowed My Matches, How Will I Recover

By borrowing a light from some guy, I guess. And thank heavens they found away to take care of my lips while I smoke! Excellent priorities, Mom.

A lovely vintage cigarette ad (1938) for Benson & Hedges Corn Tipped Virginia Rounds; via Lileks “Link” Tumblr. (Yes, I do have a Tumblr account I use now and then.)

Killing The Messenger

There are tribes in Africa that still use a gruesome messenger service that has been practiced for centuries. When a tribesman wants to communicate with the dead, he gives his message to some unsuspecting stranger, then starts him on the way by stabbing him to death.

From a 1940’s Modern Woman magazine.

Breeders Wanted

It may not be what you think — even if the classified ad was found in that retro romance magazine.  …I wonder if the irony of Ms & Mr Lonelyhearts assisting in “animal romance” was lost on anyone? Or if the suicide rate was higher among those singles who bred animals simply to have them tortured for testing, then die… Oh, by the way, Happy Valentine’s Day!

The Three-Foot Tall Masked Doll

I wanted to get this huge vintage masked doll to scare my sister with. (She has a fear of dolls and I wanted to sneak it into her bed, pull the comforter up over it and let her find it long after I left the house — don’t worry, I’d be sure to hear her reaction lol)

But sadly, it was not meant to be…

The doll was placed up for auction along with the old metal riding toy tractor, and in Fargo-Moorhead, those old farm toys and pedal cars sell for waayyyy too much for me to even raise my bidding paddle. Maybe next time, the 3-foot old cloth doll will be mine — err, my sisters. *sigh*