Or, “Happy Nude Year Knitter”. Via.
Ah, it’s the time of year when the knitters in your life move from socks and blankets to scarves and headgear. If they’re particularly creative, they’ve got something custom in the works, like this alien facehugger skimask.
You can only wear it for a few hours, because after that time you need to switch over to these guys:
Knitters are an amazing folk: they can make almost anything you can imagine out of interlocking loops of string. The crew of the Nostromo would have survived if only one of them could have knit an alien containment unit before things got ugly.
We’re not sure what’s, err, behind this trend of embroidered rolls of toilet paper,
butt however, these gifts are sure to create a whole lot of flushing. First, gift giver and receiver of the gift alike will flush — and then the gift itself will be flushed down the toilet. This may just be one time where something is worth exactly the paper it is printed on.
We suppose these are classier variations on the old potty humor gifts of Spencer’s and the like, where each sheet of two-ply had a gag on it or some puzzle to do. (I, for one, will say this is a gift to gag on — and if you give me one, I will have crosswords for you.) They also scream, “Hey, I’ve got an embroidery function on my sewing machine — let’s try to make some money!”
I don’t exactly like the idea of some stranger fondling my tp before I get it; I sure hope they always wash their hands before they work on their sewing projects.
Some of these don’t even stick with the crapper motifs and present themselves with decorator designs and other
sediments sentiments. Some of which have implications that do not seem to have been well thought out. Yule You’ll note the holiday designs too.
Nothing says, “Happy Anniversary!” like a scatological or golden showers reference.
A vintage Butterick Brownie costume pattern; via.
Found in the October 1980 issue of Decorating & Craft Ideas magazine, this log cabin quilt design is a “wonderfully playful project”.
Make four large blocks, add a fabric roof, and slip the whole thing over a card table for a cozy fabric “homestead” that your children — and assorted household pets — will adore.
Perhaps it says more about me than my pets, but fabric and cardboard sound more like a meal to the dogs and the cats than a “homestead”. However, I do think this could be a cool way to camouflage dog crates and kennels inside the house.
Complete pattern and instructions are in the magazine itself. (Another post from that magazine here.)
Perfect for the crazy cat lady in your life, this quilt is based on the simple designs found in coloring books. (We’ve long advocated using those illustrations for patterns.) From the October 1980 issue of Decorating & Craft Ideas magazine, the supposedly simple instructions are:
Look closely at our cat collection and you will find it really a..maze..ing (a network of fabric pathways that winde around this favorite motif.) This marvelous maze could begin with the selection of large, but simple, cat shapes, from children’s coloring books. Transfer them to fabrics, (reverse them for variety), and enlarge each one 1/4 inch. Working from the center out, and from the background to the foreground, arrange, then applique each shape onto the quilt top. (You might even become lost among all the possibilities.) Be sure to distribute sizes and colors evenly. Add pathways to fill in; embroider the details.
Other than fabric stuff, we have no idea what Petalescense really is… Oddly enough, we do understand what the Pretty Petals are. Both were made by by Siro Craft (Division of Signiago & Rossi, Inc.). Ad on back page of the June 1987 issue of Crafts magazine.