Just Like A Man -- And A Woman
A boy can't learn too soon that in math, as in most subjects, there is a male and a female way to work things out. After a lesson in feminine-gender arithmetic my son figures that when it comes to higher powers of reasoning, men are squares.First up, gender punctuation:
"You are inquiring into a mystery unsolved by man. From the time a female learns to write, she is convinced that exclamation points were invented to be used. She even feels they will go to waste unless they are put into sentences."That's so not true!!
The boy asks, "How about those dots in there?"
The father responds:
Dots sometimes are used for a specific purpose in the neuter, or masculine, gender. If you find a long row of them apparently just thrown in, they are feminine gender."My husband would have a field day with this... He abhors my continual use of ellipsis...
I, in return, must counter by pointing out that this article is proof that everything is considered masculine unless noted as feminine (and that feminine is lower in status). I'm just sayin'...
"Men teachers probably are told during their training to allow for the more complicated punctuation by girl pupils." :sigh: I suppose I should just be happy there was no mention of retarded or intolerant women teachers.
Then again... no mention of female teachers is rather sexist -- I mean, "It's rather sexist!"
Now we move onto gender in 'rithmetic.
The boy gets the correct answer, but dad makes an ambiguous statement...
So dad needs to explain female math.
"Particularly if he is married." Yuck it up, Byron.
Oh, and it all ends with a cute little story of the little woman besting "daddy". How quaint.
If you'd prefer to read the column in its entirety as it appeared: